Blue badge for child with autism?

[TheVolturi]

My ds was diagnosed with asd recently and we have had no help or advice from anyone really, assuming covid isn't helping.
He is at mainstream school and is high functioning, but finding school very hard as he is masking while he is there. So he will come out of school literally teetering on the edge of a breakdown and almost every day bolt off to the car, he is not aware of dangers and does not look before he crosses. I have his younger brother and sister with me too so it's hard to grab him every time.
The school is big, over 600 pupils and it is really hard to park legally, close to the school, so it's really busy and chaotic.
Would we have a chance of a blue badge in these circumstances?
My thinking is if we could park on school car park in disabled space or at least outside school, it would make things safer!

I’m not sure to be honest. I’ve been there. ‘Teetering on the edge’ is a good description. I’d be interested to see others responses. Also, I’m not sure whether you could apply to the school to park in the car park? Ours might provide a pass in this situation, though I know they’d be reluctant. It’s one of those cases where a small thing would make a big difference isn’t it.

Thank you @Anotherbrightsunrise
I have just applied online as I suppose they can only say no!
It is definitely a small thing that would make a huge difference.
Our school, for the size of it has such a small car park, so there are only two disabled spaces, so I doubt that school will say it's OK, unless we have a badge. Will see what happens, I will report back!

Talk to the school, they might well let you use a disabled space, or perhaps have another solution like getting a teacher to bring him to the car.

You can certainly apply but in those circumstances I think you'd get turned down. My youngest has ASD (high needs), is non verbal, has epilepsy and learning difficulties. I have applied 3 times and been rejected. Each time I appealed and complained. I had evidence from a tonne of professionals. Didn't get anywhere. That said, everyone who thinks they're eligible should apply.

My DS is/was similar: 'high functioning' and masks in school but will flip out afterwards and has poor road sense/awareness of danger. I only have one child and honestly don't think I would have coped with a younger one as well. Good news is the behaviour is improving with age.

I second talking to the school - his behaviour is a sign of unmet needs - and that is something school should be helping with. At DS's school a blue badge would not help unless you got there really early, as they are all parked in by non Blue badge holders.

Thanks for the replies everyone, it's good to get different perspectives.
The school are being really rubbish at the moment, they feel that he is fine in school because he keeps quiet and causes no trouble. However he is actually just about coping. I have told them about him having meltdowns after school, often he doesn't even make it out of the school yard before he starts as he's just so desperate to get home, but his brother comes out 10 mins after him so we have to wait. The senco told me, in these words, Just because he has a diagnosis doesn't mean he is entitled to any help 🙄
So I feel a bit let down tbh.

Similar issues with my son, primary were shit, but secondary and now college have given us passes to use for their car parks for picking up and dropping off. It's been done as a 'reasonable adjustment' and it makes a huge difference.

That's good of them @poltergoose, least they can do really though!
So unimpressed with our school at the moment.

Just thought I would update, I have just received a phone call from the council, it's been approved! Was so quick I can't actually believe it!

Oh, that’s great! Well done for applying, I’m very pleased for you. Are you in England? Just as I’m in Scotland and had heard of some changes here to make it easier for applying with autism, but I’m still not sure whether to apply or not. The problem that for us there is such a huge gulf between a good day and a bad day! As you said though, they can only say no. I should take heart from your experience and try, but instead will probably just ponder it some more 😂

Oh that is excellent, well done!

Thank you everyone! @Anotherbrightsunrise I am in England, Lancashire to be precise. I would say to everyone apply if you need it because if you don't ask you will never know. Applications are fully done online now, including sending documents so that's why it was so quick I think.
My ds biggest problem is although he's 8 and very intelligent, when we go out he gets completely tunnel vision and does not notice anything around him. He gets so stressed as well, I didn't over egg anything when I applied, I was honest.

Thanks for replying and well done again

If your son has an EHCP/statement then you could ask for parking close to the school doors to be specified in his needs in the plan so they have to provide parking then.

I have a very physically disabled child who cannot walk (and another child) I can rarely ever get a disabled parking space as they are always full. I don’t think the system is particularly fair & if more & more badges are being awarded then those with physical disabilities will be well & truly stuffed so please think carefully before applying & where/how you use the badge.

@Missingthesun sorry, I don't think this statement "I don’t think the system is particularly fair & if more & more badges are being awarded then those with physical disabilities will be well & truly stuffed so please think carefully before applying & where/how you use the badge." is very fair

The whole thing isn’t fair. I have a physically disabled child who cannot get in/out the car or walk at all. You wouldn’t believe the daily struggles we have with parking & how many people I see using blue badges who are physically able to walk. There are many times we simply cannot do as planned as we cannot get a space close enough or wide enough to get equipment out.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I don’t deny that ASD & other behavioural conditions are not disabilities. Of course they are (my DC has other issues too).

But you now have a blue badge on the basis that your child runs to the car after school without checking for passing cars. This could easily be remedied by you arranging with the school to park directly outside the school door/exit so that he doesn’t go to the road. Or arrange for a supervisor to bring him to the car. Or arrange for you to use staff parking on site to avoid the road.

I don’t see how it warrants a blue badge. If everyone is getting blue badges on such merits, then god help all those physically disabled. Parking is near impossible as it is for them. You could make alternative arrangements for your situation; wheelchair users and physically disabled people have no alternative. Now see the ‘fairness’?

@Missingthesun I'm not even going to bother arguing about it and derailing the thread but you're wrong

@missingthesun I did not apply solely for the school run. My son is terrible in the car in general. I have actually not used the badge for school yet because there is only two spaces in the school car park and I don't want to take up one that a physically disabled child might need.
But we have used it to take him out to other places and it has made a huge difference. Rather than having to tightly hold him to navigate busy car parks we can give him a bit more dignity and let him walk freely as we are almost at the entrance. Instead of driving round and round the car park for his swimming session looking for a space and him having a meltdown because he's nauseous we can park straight up. Instead of not having days out because we can't park close enough to places and it not being safe to walk from streets away we now can.
I'm really sad that you feel he doesn't deserve the chance to go places and be safe. The blue badge system has changed for a reason and I'm so grateful that it has.

@TheVolturi - you feel sad for me that your child can walk if you hold him & that you got a blue badge despite this? Wow. It’s not exactly much trouble for you to hold your child for a few moments in a car park.

There’s thousands of kids with ASD & other such that hate being in the car. If they all have a blue badge where does that leave the physically disabled? Those kids who actually CANNOT walk. And have other medical problems. And need the space around the car for their equipment? Without the blue badge & parking space they physically cannot leave the car. Your situation is your child can leave the car but it’s just extra work for you.

I won’t be replying again, because you clearly don’t understand the burden that physical disabilities bring and are very smug about getting a blue badge so easily.

@missingthesun I think you are out of order to be honest. Its not a competition is it. Its not as simple as it's just extra work for me to hold my child in a car park 🙄 it's about him having some dignity and independence and being safe. The fact is that my child is disabled. And has as much right to use his blue badge as you do.

Actually I get it. The landmark court case regarding ASD and blue badges will lead to a rise in the numbers entitled to the scheme which is going to need an increase in provision. I wonder if providers will keep up.

But also please dont judge those who seemingly can walk. DS seems normal walking around the car park
"You cant park there this is only for people a blue Badge"
"what like that one" (points to the window)
"no people with a real disability who need a wheelchair"
"what like this one" (lifting the boot of the car to reveal an substantial wheelchair)
Blue Badges do also cover those who can walk but suffer pain or extraordinary fatigue after.

[quote Missingthesun]**@TheVolturi - you feel sad for me that your child can walk if you hold him & that you got a blue badge despite this? Wow. It’s not exactly much trouble for you to hold your child for a few moments in a car park.

There’s thousands of kids with ASD & other such that hate being in the car. If they all have a blue badge where does that leave the physically disabled? Those kids who actually CANNOT walk. And have other medical problems. And need the space around the car for their equipment? Without the blue badge & parking space they physically cannot leave the car. Your situation is your child can leave the car but it’s just extra work for you.

I won’t be replying again, because you clearly don’t understand the burden that physical disabilities bring and are very smug about getting a blue badge so easily.[/quote]
@Missingthesun This is all wrong, if it was a case of "just hold him for a while" why can't parents of children with wheelchairs carry their children? That is ridiculous and discriminatory. What about when my learning disabled and autistic child drops to the floor, rolls around and tries to eat things found on the pavement? What about when he gets bigger than me? Have you ever had to physically restrain a thrashing child? It is exhausting and sometimes dangerous. A blue badge can often be absolutely essential for safety and practicality. There is so much prejudice and misunderstanding concerning hidden disabilities.

@TheVolturi don't you dare feel bad at all. Your DS needs a blue badge and was given one. That there is not enough blue badge spaces for those who need them is not your fault. Look after yourself.

@LadyOfLittleLeisure thank you so much for your kind words, means a lot

TheVolturi.
OMG.
I cannot believe the bitterness of one of the posters on here. As littlelady said. Do not feel guilty about using the space. You are perfectly entitled to it.
My youngest grandson has what is now referred to as Significant Autism, he has global delay and sensory processing disorder. Also non verbal. My DD was very pleased to get a blue badge for him and it makes such a difference. She is not at all smug just as you are not she is just very grateful. Just because others may either not see or not understand your challenges that does not mean that they do not exist. Hold your head up high, be proud of yourself for asking and for getting the right result for all of you and please USE THE SPACE. I promise you that if the council did not believe that you needed the badge you would not have it. Best wishes. 💐

Thank you @notthemum