My almost 6yo son is currently going through the extremely slow process of NHS assessment. The pediatrician suspects that he is on the autism spectrum, though she did warn me that we will most likely not get an exact 'label'.
He is very clever, but socially very irritating and somewhat 'strange'. He can't read body language and doesn't really get that other people are people, though he does show some empathy in his own way. He is a sensory seeker - constantly moving, chewing, banging, turning on and off lights, blaring music, fiddling, running, etc. He also moves the furniture constantly - so if I leave him in the playroom or bedroom alone, the only time he is 'settled' and doesn't need me is when he is moving the couches/beds/cupboards/tables - and these are items that are heavy for an adult to move, he moves everything almost every day. I am considered by my friends and family to be a firm and strict mother, it's not a discipline issue, more just driving me nutty! He doesn't seem able to control it.
Another issue that I have been firm about with no effect (because he seems to have little control over the impulse) is cutting. Though we have disappeared any scissors, every time he finds a pair, or his teacher gives him a pair in school, he cuts his trouser knees, jumper sleeves, pencil case, water bottle, schoolbag - whatever he has within reach really. Though I work with the school and he doesn't officially get scissors without supervision, he manages to get hold of things.
He loses everything, even stuff that is tied to his clothes! He has trouble with wiping after using the toilet, won't brush his teeth, won't bath without incentives (bath bombs, exciting shampoo, bath toys) and lies about washing his hands (claims he has when I know he hasn't) - and doesn't seem aware that I know he hasn't. He also has hypemobility and low muscle tone, so he can't really effectively join his peers in playground games.
As he gets older, more is expected of him and his issues become bigger. He doesn't get DLA because they said he hadn't been assessed properly yet, but I spent a lot of money on therapy equipment - swings, balls, beanbags, weighted blanket, body sock, sensory items etc. - because without that he will literally destroy my house, using the furniture and walls/doors as his therapy equipment!
Because I am very firm, he basically behaves okay most of the time, especially out the house, and especially because he hasn't been visiting others during the past year, so everyone besides close family, friends and teachers keep telling me that he is 'just a sweet kid'. He is adorable but also impossible!
I have two other boys. Today he took over my younger sons birthday party, unwrapping the gifts, playing with them, handing out the treats. When I stopped him, he went wild, screeching, hitting - not in anger, not a meltdown tantrum, just bored, restless, confused and jealous.
Any support? I don't usually vent like this but I'm at my wits end. Tonight I slapped him just to calm him down and bring him back to earth - give him that sensation!! He's reading in bed now, quite happy but 2 hours after he went to bed. He won't be able to get up tomorrow.