Starting school in nappies/constant accidents

[Meowmeow20202]

After reading a thread about similar its got me worried
Ds 5 has asd and isn't potty trained. He wears nappies. When we have tried its was only weeks of peeing and pooing into his clothing. His nursery found this very difficult to cope with so we decided to put him back in nappies. Hes just not ready. My 18 month old is showing signs of being ready that he doesn't have. How bad will it be ? Will the other children laugh at him? Will the teachers wish he wasn't there? :(

I work in reception at school and am 1:1 for a little boy who has autism, he came in nappies and I change him no problems. The other children in the class have a little look, but no more so at the toileting than when he gets upset in class by something. We’ve actually just started to introduce sitting on the toilet every time I do nappy changes, and he’s still in pull up nappies. Everything I do I talk with Mum first and go by what she wants us to do. Don’t worry I’m sure it will be fine, he will get it when he’s ready

One of my friends is a TA in a MS school and has worked with kids up to the age of 8 or so still in nappies, always with ASD/SEN and has had to change their nappies as part of her job. I don't imagine this would be an issue for the school/staff.

You need to discuss this with the school. I'm not sure that there is a generic policy but if extra funding isn't in place, and if the school doesn't have a care suite then there might be a problem.

@Oblomov21

Have you got everything legally in place. EHCP etc? What has the Senco said?

In Scotland but he has similar in place.

I read the other thread. I think the reaction was more to the parents and GO who thought it was completely normal for a NT to still spoil themselves daily because they were 'lazy'and therefore weren't getting the child any help that they needed. A child with diagnosed SEN is a completely different thing

@Craiglang

I work in SEN (at a special school, not MS). Plenty of our pupils are in nappies, it's not a huge deal. I don't imagine it being a problem at a MS school either, especially with a diagnosis of ASD. If you have concerns, please contact the school. Your DC won't be the first child they've met who starts school in nappies, they will have a procedure in place and should be able to reassure you.

I think the difference between the other thread and your DC is attitude. Your DC in nappies/slips, not just pooing in pants every day without you looking for a reason or getting professional help. Those situations must be distressing for the NT child and whoever is caring for them, and, dare I say it, laziness on the parents part for not doing anything to help her.

My child is asd and it was a problem in mainstream.
Although they weren't really allowed to voice that, they made it clear

Changing children in nappies is part of my job as a TA in a mainstream primary.

The other children don't really pay much attention to the fact that their classmate is in a nappy or pull-up. There may be an initial "Why is he wearing a nappy?" but after that it's quickly accepted as just being something that their friend does.

I would be surprised if there weren't other children in the class who were still having at least occasional accidents. They become engrossed in their work/play and forget to go.

Changing nappies and pull-ups just becomes part of the daily routine - as well as reminding the ones who are prone to accidents that it would be a good idea to use the toilet before they go out to play/lunch. I certainly don't resent any child who needs help.

I used to hate it that every review, educational review, the getting him out of nappies would come up as a target.
This was before ehcp and it was statements.
When that was a health issue , not school.
He wasnt in nappies for long but some teachers are very judgemental when it comes to SEN

I’d suggest emailing the school, telling them and asking them how/if they’d manage it.

As he’s ASD I expect it’d be acceptable, but it depends on the school. Traditionally I thought schools didn’t let you start without being trained, but that may be wrong and may just be for NT children. Good luck.

That thread is different, the child does not have ASD and isn’t in nappies and parents don’t seem to be doing anything to help improve the situation, so the childminder didn’t know this was the situation she had to deal with. It’s a lot messier in lots of ways. Your child’s school will know before hand and you sound like you will work well with them and it’s understood it may take him a little longer

Just to add another perspective here, my daughter is five and NT. She has continence issues and soils and wets, causing recurrent UTIs. She often needs to wear pull ups at school and they are very good about making sure she is cleaned and changed when necessary. However, this is very much because I have pushed to make sure everything was in place. Her continence nurse sent her continence plan to school and I then worked with the SENDCO to create a plan for how they would manage her needs. My advice would be to approach school with a plan for what you know works and ask them how they can achieve this.

I haven't read the other thread that people are referring to but I just wanted to voice that there are often very valid reasons for NT children to also be in nappies/pull ups at school.

Also, it's very important to note (as a few people have given incorrect information on this thread) that a school cannot refuse admission to a child who has continence issues. This is under the Equalities Act. You can find more information on that on the ERIC website: www.eric.org.uk/help-at-school-faqs

@VestaTilley That's not correct, schools cannot refuse admission to a child who is not toilet trained. A delay in achieving continence is classed as a disability and thus is protected under The Equality Act 2010.

My daughter was still in nappies when she started school. She's 6 now and is doing really well with her potty training. I used to worry about it too but she just wasn't ready for toilet training at 5.

In your situation I would be up front and say something like

"I will support you with whatever you need - nappies, wipes, plastic gloves

Those should be supplied anyway via his EHCP and/or his are plan.

care plan, not are plan

@Nith

In your situation I would be up front and say something like

"I will support you with whatever you need - nappies, wipes, plastic gloves

Those should be supplied anyway via his EHCP and/or his are plan.

I provide the nappies/wipes at nursery and from what i know that wont change.

My Nt little one was wetting regularly when she started school and it was made worse by the rule of hands up and ask for the loo as it was a I need a wee oops I've done a wee situation.
I spoke to the school and they made her a special badge which excluded her from the hands up rule, this really helped and eventually she grew out of it. No teasing as far as I know

My dd started mainstream in nappies and the school made it extremely difficult.
They changed her so that she wasn’t in the same nappy all day, but I’d she had a poo, either me or dh had to go in and change her. This made life so bloody difficult because we both worked. I ended up having to leave my job and basically staying at home all day every day just in case I needed to go in to change her.

Anyway, she has since left and goes to an SEN school and is typically no longer in nappies. What really infuriates me, is since we left another child started also in nappies, but because his mum refuses to go in to change him, they do it. My dd had higher needs funding and a 1:1 TA, so I don’t know why we were treated so differently?

@nancyclancy123 did you actually refuse? That would be the difference. I will be refusing when my DS starts in September if it is suggested.

@nancyclancy123

My dd started mainstream in nappies and the school made it extremely difficult. They changed her so that she wasn’t in the same nappy all day, but I’d she had a poo, either me or dh had to go in and change her. This made life so bloody difficult because we both worked. I ended up having to leave my job and basically staying at home all day every day just in case I needed to go in to change her.

Anyway, she has since left and goes to an SEN school and is typically no longer in nappies. What really infuriates me, is since we left another child started also in nappies, but because his mum refuses to go in to change him, they do it. My dd had higher needs funding and a 1:1 TA, so I don’t know why we were treated so differently?

That's awful!

I'm fairly sure that schools are no longer allowed to call parents in to change their children. At the very least it's a potential safeguarding issue if a child is deliberately left in a soiled nappy for however long it would take for a parent to arrive.

The only time I've had to contact a parent is if the child has used up their supply of spare clothes and we don't have any others that would fit them. Even then we would still change the nappy first and give them a pair of shorts or something to wear until the trousers/skirt arrived.

Most parents at our school tend to send in their own supply of nappies and wipes but we also have spares in a range of sizes. Parents have to give written permission if they want us to use a nappy cream though, so that might be worth checking in advance.

The school supplies the gloves and any other PPE required.

I felt so mortified at the time that I just couldn't get her out of her nappies that I didn't argue with them. I was so glad when she finally got a place at an SEN school.

Nappies wouldn't be supplied via an EHCP ,my son goes to a special school and he's just about out of pull ups in school ( year six) I have always had to send nappies and pull ups in , gloves and wipes etc are provided by the school.

Nappies for use in school can and should be supplied via a care Plan and section G of an EHC Plan.

It's never been discussed ,we get them through the NHS ,but i have always had to send them in as do other parents🤷