Coping With Special Needs Stress! Sorry- long moan

[JAKBROWN]

I'm new to Mumsnet but having read through some of the conversations on the special needs board it seems there is a really great group of experienced mums here. I've got a little girl who's nearly 4 with SN and a little boy and I feel as if I'm going completely mad at the moment. For the year after diagnosis, I seemed to cope well. So busy getting things in place for dd who is now doing home therapy I didn't have time to get 'depressed'. But recently I find myself feeling down (which isn't very me- usually annoyingly upbeat!). Just feels like everything is too much. Feel as if I can't do enough for my daughter, then stress of making sure my son gets enough attention, fretting about it all all the time. House if full of people constantly- specialist nurse, therapists etc. House a wreck- haven't even changed the lampshades since we moved in as been so busy drowing in special needs stuff. Husband at work all the time- career going really well and feel as if he is generally disengaged from family and SN daughter. Also feel irrationally angry at parents without SN kids who 'complain' about things like their child not being as advanced as another etc etc. Am turning in to a misery. Is this normal? Will I come out the other side?!!!!! Sorry to moan on...

Hello - just skimmed this thread. Been trying to come on MN more often but its really hard. I just don't seem to have a second to myself these days. Sometimes it is 10pm and I realise I have hardly sat down that day!

Does anyone else feel that to get time off it is just so much work, going through social workers and all the paper work etc? I know I could probably get respite care but can't seem to face all the questions. Its easier just to carry on.

However it is easier now that ds is at school - we do have 2 weeks holidays at the moment though.

Hope you all get better soon coppertop. We think dd had chickenpox a few weeks back but she had hardly any spots and ds didn't get it.

Hello Eulalia
How is ds doing at school?

He is doing well thanks blossomhill. Knows most of the alphabet and writes very well and is starting to read. He does have a problem with the early arthimetic ie more than or less than. He refuses to say good morning/afternoon to the teacher and isn't making friends at school yet but it is early days I guess.

Hi Eulalia, its nice to see your name again, so maybe things are letting up a bit? I think this excessive activity goes in phases and certainly seems to get less as they get older although it never entirely goes away I think its important to try not to just get in the habit and feel that you can't choose a break when the (rare) chance comes up. I've got 2 friends who NEVER take a break from it, its exhausting just being around them, they are relentless! I can see that one of them certainly has a child with very complex difficulties and therefore more elements to incorporate into daily life as well as special appts etc, but I think even she could give it a rest sometimes!!! Of course you've got to do what you gotta do and there's little option but DO take a break sometimes (ha ha, from someone who has only had one holiday in 7 years!)

Thanks Davros. Yes and no, now that ds is at school it is easier but dd is quite hard work now and if I sit down she's climbing all over me. I feel a bit guilty sometimes about not posting on MN more and providing more support/advice to others instead of always 'taking', but I guess it will get easier.

ds still remains quite hyper but it is very contextual. He is fine at school but at home he can often barely sit still (unless watching a video or drawing). His speech is really getting better in that he can communicate but it some ways it can just make the autism more transparent, ie shouting and demanding things. Also his social skills remain totally ZERO with regard to his school peers. So of course he has no friends (but at least he doesn't realise this) He seems to have regressed a bit at the moment refusing to get dressed and even asking me to go to the toilet with him. He was bad today when I visited my friend with baby twins and a 3.10 year old and kept on hitting the boy. I was hoping he was growing out of this. We had to leave as he was throwing toys all over the room. Ah the joys of school holidays ... and its pouring with rain too...

still they are both quiet just now watching a new video from the library.

Was your holiday a complete break from the children as well Davros? I've never had that - a few hours here and there. The last time was half a day way back in February. Trouble is I am at it 7 days a week as dh works every weekend oh dear don't want to start a rant...

Oh no, not a break from the children but we did it because we had an au-pair for 6 months when had DD last year.

Social Stories - Any good recommendations for this situation?

My friend was met in the playground yesterday by her son (8 years old) teacher. Apparently he has been showing off his w1lly with a group of other children. My friend's son is currently being assessed for statementing (has other behavioural issues) and I was wondering if anyone could recommend with any age appropriate social stories for this sort of thing

Grateful for anything anyone can add or if they can point me to a previous thread - couldn't find one myself though

Sorry, meant to create a new thread for this - will do so now!!