School want to refer my 9yo for autism assessment. I’m very doubtful he’s autistic

[miffmufferedmoof]

Looking for a bit of advice/thoughts.

Since toddlerhood, DS (now 9) has had a few traits associated with autism (struggle with changes to routine, some sensory things, intense special interests) but I’ve never thought these have enough impact to warrant assessment.

As he’s got older he’s got more flexible with things like changes to routine and at home we generally find him fairly easy (although he does have his moments!)

He’s always coped pretty well with school although they have recognised he needs a bit more support in some ways (to do with coping emotionally rather than academically). Since starting Y4 he has been less happy at school and they have had to put more into place to help him (particularly with the transition from home to school).

We recently had a meeting with his teacher who suggested referral to CAMHS for autism assessment. We’ve decided to cooperate with this, but I’m very doubtful CAMHS will be interested. To me he doesn’t seem to be struggling enough iykwim? Though I am a bit worried about how he’d cope with secondary school. His social skills are pretty poor and he has trouble handling emotions.

I just don’t know what to think. Could he really be autistic with me just not seeing it? Or are school just being overzealous?

miff we have looked into getting an EHCP for my Ds and I don't think it's a possibility.

Ds is on 'sen support' but that pretty much means that the school don't have to do anything. Ds's school have forced us to pay for some support.

Ds has not thrived at all, his secondary school years have been dreadful. Trying to get help even with his diagnosis is pretty much impossible. Our gp referred him to Camhs as his mental health is so poor but they rejected his referral.

I certainly don't regret pursuing a diagnosis for Ds and we should have done it far earlier but there has been zero help since. It hasn't seemed to bring the kind of support that some mention.

If the school is supportive and knows how to write the EHCP application, you're in luck. If you have an unsupportive school and council you will need a tribunal...

Until transition year, ds's EHCP had no money attached, so all it did was enable us to avoid the nearest two schools. But with luck that will be enough.

In some ways the demands of secondary are easier - more classes involving sitting still and doing explicit exercises with a goal of passing exams, not being forced into a playground where football is happening - but others are harder like finding your way round a huge campus and being expected to recognise multiple teachers.

Every autistic individual is different, they have their own variety of assets and deficits. To be diagnosed, someone needs to have
“persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” (this includes sensory behaviour), present since early childhood, to the extent that these “limit and impair everyday functioning”. www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/criteria-changes.aspx
It's the limit and impair everyday functioning part which is essential for a diagnosis to be given.

Also as they grow and mature, their needs change. My DD is a young adult now and things that phased her at your son's age mostly no longer do, or if they do, her reaction isn't so intense because she's learned to mask. It doesn't mean she's any less autistic or that her autism is "mild" (mild autism doesn't exist, see the 'limit and impair everyday functioning' bit above which is essential for a diagnosis.) it's just that for many years now her autistic traits are not so evident to an onlooker as they were was in certain situations.

You might find these links useful
the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

neuroclastic.com/2019/05/04/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/comment-page-1/

Sensory Issues www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?

Hi Op
I would definitely get him tested.
My Ds sounds very similar just bumping along below the radar at school until this year when a shouty teacher has demolished his coping strategies.
He is now completely school refusing and withdrawn +++ with violent meltdowns when upset.
School tried to rectify but it was just too late damage done, now we are having to go down alternative pathway.
Information could really help you and school smooth transitions and pick up any problems fast.