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Original poster

Feel like we have to hide ABA like a dirty little secret!

54 replies

Migrainefun · 07/10/2019 20:10

Basically just a rant.

My son is 2.5 and awaiting diagnosis of ASD. We have had an ABA consultant train us how to do ABA with him and she manages a programme for us and sees him monthly. It is going so well! I could cry, he couldn't do a shape sorter, and he's learned to do the whole thing in a week. He's beginning to imitate me. He even asked me for juice!
I want to share this with people but the reactions have been bizarre.
My friend who has a husband with ASD told me that they think what I am doing is cruel, if I'm going to be part of the ASD community then I should know that everyone disapproves of me trying to "fix" my son, that he wouldn't naturally have ever done the shape sorter so why am I forcing this on him etc. I suddenly feel very ashamed and low, I wanted the equip my son with the tools to do what he wanted to do in life but now I am feeling so guilty!
Also I mentioned to his paediatrician about the ABA and they didn't know what it was, thought I was being scammed by this consultant etc Hmm
Rant over Sad I just needed to share somewhere safe..

OP posts:
Aunaturalmama · 09/10/2019 18:11

I just meant more of the older generation think it’s bad versus the younger

sickofsocalledexperts · 09/10/2019 18:30

Oh I see ok. ABA has really only been in the UK 20 years, perhaps we therefore have less of a ‘past’ with it? Have heard from several adults and mums to older autistic kids here who swear by it. My boy has been doing it 13 years now, For me, the other ‘eclectic’ UK educational systems would have taught my boy zero. That, to me, is neglect. ABA has taught him the skills for a better quality of life, and given him a voice to choose what he wants and needs. Has also probably kept him out of some godforsaken residential ATU, as he used to have highly aggressive behaviour and is now 6ft and 15 stone. ABA has taught him better ways to react to life’s inevitable stresses than with his fists. I could go on, but need to do his dinner!

Original poster
Migrainefun · 09/10/2019 18:41

I saw the post on ABA4all by the way! Thank you!
I'm glad everyone is talking about this, thank you for the replies!
I know I don't have to talk about ABA with people but I just felt so proud and wanted to share my sons process and I was made to feel like an arse.
As it happens, my friends husband has decided he is an autism expert in the last few weeks and has an opinion on everything that parents to autistic children do. He definitely thought I was cruel for giving my son a gluten free diet trial. I know he wasn't as severe as my son, and he never suspected he had autism until about a year ago so I am annoyed about his input really. I'm going to have a word with my friend but I can see this being an issue for our friendship.
Im really interested to read all the replies and I can reassure everyone that he really enjoyed the ABA so far, and there are no consequences for non compliance, I've taught him to tell me he wants a break and he always gets one even if we are only 2 minutes in if he decides he's had enough. Today he even asked me for cake! I'm so pleased that he is learning to communicate, all his speech so far has just been labelling.

OP posts:
LightTripper · 09/10/2019 20:26

It sounds like he's doing really well!

I just think the truth is somewhere in the middle. But as long as you make sure he's having fun (which it sounds like he is!), and are aware of some of the things that can go wrong so you can look out for any signs of that, I'm sure you'll do great.

Soumia · 09/10/2019 20:29

@Migrainefun

What kind of strategy you used to get your son label...and request?

Please share your experience.

Thanks

sickofsocalledexperts · 09/10/2019 20:39

There is a story if you scroll down on this link called ‘view from a mum’ - which tells how one mum used ABA to teach her boy to request and label.

www.abaa4all.com/family-stories

Soumia · 09/10/2019 20:55

@sickofsocalledexperts

Thanks for sharing...

By the way...could you plz advise me of a good OT and SALT and EP who.must be pro ABA... my tribunsl.is ver soon and i need them.in.my son EHCP

THX

sickofsocalledexperts · 09/10/2019 22:26

Lisa Blakemore Brown good EP

Soumia · 09/10/2019 23:06

@sickofsocalledexperts

Thanks so much...

I googled her and scrutinised the web...but could not find her contact details :(

Soumia · 09/10/2019 23:27

I tried david urani but he said:
I cannot assist you as I have no availability till March 2020 as I will be on extended leave for 3 months from December. Regards. David Urani

RoyalOak · 10/10/2019 19:54

If ever not sure you can always look through about 1000s research articles that back efficacy of ABA.
ABA is based on natural science, it’s not one of the many autism therapies like many ppl assume incorrectly.

ABA are only principles that extracted from experimental scientific research and used in many areas. In medical field to treat phobias and depression. In sports, such as tug teach type of strategies, in animal training, in organisation Behavior managements to motivate staff, reduce absences to increase productivity. NHS uses it (PBS) to teach functional skills and reduce challenging behaviour in adults with various disabilities. And in education used with neurotypical children, token economy systems.

As well as with children with autism and developmental disabilities.

So go ahead and inform your friend’s husband about ABA. Behaviourism and Skinner who started it first in his lab :).

I would strongly advise you to read up about 7 dimensions of ABA (Baer, Wolf and Risley) and how it evolved since 1960s.

And if your ABA team are not implementing it’s 7 dimensions then it’s most probably not ABA :).

Best wishes.

yellowallpaper · 10/10/2019 21:06

Ignore everyone and trust your instincts. If you see improvements and your child is happier, then to hell with other people's opinion. I'm sure if your therapist were to suggest something you were unhappy with, like punishment, you would not be so happy with them.

You can only do what's right for you and your child. Remember that and ignore.

Devilishpyjamas · 12/10/2019 07:44

My son is an adult now. Non-verbal, severely autistic & learning disabled. We didn’t do a lot of ABA (did a bit in top of what was offered locally) but what we did have him PECS, & imitation & yes & no & Makaton. The imitation changed his life as it meant he could learn from observation.

When my son was about 5 I consulted with Donna Williams about compulsions. Nothing to do with ABA. Anyway she told me not to let ‘flag wielding Aspies guilt you into not doing the best for your son’ (it was the compulsion vs stimming point). She reassured me that on the whole they had no idea what my son’s experience of autism was & no idea of what he needed. She’s good to read on neurodiversity as has a very balanced viewpoint. She is much missed.

So years down the line I continue to read what people with autism say & talk to them but continue to be led by my son’s needs. A 5 minute conversation with someone attacking us for using PBS shows that they have no concept of what we are doing & no understanding of how autism impacts on his life. And I am happy with what we have done.

It now appears that he may have a genetic mutation that may be about to be identified. If so it will be a relief to step off the somewhat crazy place autism politics has become.

Have a look at Donna williams on autism culture vs cure - will see if I can find a link.

Devilishpyjamas · 12/10/2019 07:51

Eg blog.donnawilliams.net/2011/04/16/what-is-neurodiversity/

Devilishpyjamas · 12/10/2019 08:15

Incidentally on a twitter discussion yesterday the person arguing thought that PECS could be introduced by just having some picture cards lying around. Also was of the impression that modelling could teach someone who couldn’t imitate. I have nothing against modelling incidentally - we do no directive stuff with my son now, all his communication support is via modelling but it would not have worked (& did now) until he was taught to imitate. He learned to imitate very late so the difference was very clear to us.

It was a fairly usual discussion but just an example that a lot of people who are arguing against aspects of ABA actually know nothing about it or even that some children cannot learn by observation.

Soumia · 12/10/2019 09:02

@devillishpyjamas...

I have been trying to teach imitation to my mild autistic son since a year without success...

Hoe did u do it?

Can u share ur experience?

Is it through DTT ? AbA ?

Devilishpyjamas · 12/10/2019 09:07

We did it through DTT, the classic ‘do this’. It took a very long time, (he learned aged about 7) but it made a huge difference - changed everything.

We did try son-rise type things & mirrors and all sorts, we tried everything that said it could help with imitation. But it was DTT that worked. Once he could do that at the table he could do it everywhere. So he did it successfully one morning in a session and that afternoon spontaneously joined in with me & brothers dancing in the afternoon - had never done that before. His life changed from that day. I know it sounds ridiculously over dramatic but it really made a profound difference.

Soumia · 12/10/2019 09:18

@Devillishpyjamas

Thanks for info..

May be it is a matter of what method works best for each child..

@son-rise type things & mirrors and all sorts, we tried everything that said it could help with imitation

I just googled sunrise...it is an American method...,

Could u plz share advise me the name of other imitation methid..

I need to help my son...

Thanks

Devilishpyjamas · 12/10/2019 09:30

Son rise is less popular these days than it was. It was all about locking yourself in a room for hours 😁 which my son would have hated. But it was child led, so the idea was you would imitate what the child was doing and grow on that. They used mirrors a lot so the child could see what you and they were doing. This is dredged from memory / was decades ago and I may have bits wrong.

If I was going to have to teach a child to
Imitate now I would use ‘do this’ DTT - at the table of the child enjoyed that, just around and about the house if they didn’t. If doing at the table also around and about the house. I would also use mirrors to pull funny faces, explore things etc. My son still loves mirrors and we have found that with a mirror he can tolerate things like EEGs and the dentist much more than he can without - so they are good things to have anyway.

Meanwhile the most important thing if a child can’t imitate is to realised you will need to teach then hand over hand. For that reason PECS is likely to be more successful than makaton (my son never uses PECS now he uses Makaton & other methods but he didn’t use a single sign until he learned to imitate - at which stage he quickly used lots)

Soumia · 12/10/2019 09:42

@Devillishpyjamas

Thanks so much ...but what do you mean by:

...with a mirror he can tolerate things like EEGs and the dentist much more than he can without - s..

What is EEG?

What does the mirror has to do with a drntist???

Devilishpyjamas · 12/10/2019 10:03

If he has a mirror he can see what is happening when someone looks in his mouth, so will allow someone to put an instrument in it. An EEG is to look at epilepsy and involves loads of pads being stuck to your head, couldn’t manage it all without a mirror, with a mirror was able to tolerate all the pads going on and a short reading

Soumia · 12/10/2019 14:14

Is it part of Talk.tool ???

Devilishpyjamas · 12/10/2019 16:21

Is what part of talk tools? Sorry I’m not sure what you mean.

Footiefan2019 · 28/10/2019 15:50

An adult who is married, has managed to cope with life independently until now and I assume works has no idea what it’s like for some people who are disabled by autism and find life very difficult, being unable to live independently etc. I’m sure your friends DH has his own struggles and I hope he manages to find ways to cope, but he is not an authority on autism because he’s been diagnosed 6 weeks. ‘Autism Culture’ is usually self indulgent YouTube bloggers who make decent money off whining about the world and how no one understands them whilst living in lovely homes with spouses and traveling extensively.

cansu · 28/10/2019 21:10

I did ABA with my dd and I always say that it was the single most effective thing we did to help her. I engaged in absolutely everything salt, OT and various other groups and nothing was as effective as ABA. I spent three days teaching her two words and I honestly thing that if I hadn't she would not have the limited but important language she has today. Be proud of what you are doing.