what should a nearly 4 year olds language and understanding be like

[Hayleyjane83]

Hi, my nearly 4 year old daughter has a language delay, she saw a speech therapist for an assessment in march and she diagnosed her with a language delay. Nursery have concerns about her understanding and wanted to do a referral for an ASD assessment which I have agreed to and started. But other then speech and language I just don't see it, she doesn't have any sensory issues other then not liking hand dryers she hates them, but then so did my son and he's NT, she doesn't have meltdowns, she does get upset quite often but quickly comes out of it or is easily distracted on to something else, she is not bothered in the slightest about routines, she's loved going to see her new teacher and classroom for starting reception this week she ran in and just said bye mum, her nursery key worker had a couple of days off sick a few weeks ago, and she had a stand in and all she asked was where's Mrs ___ and just got on with it as normal. She's very sociable loves being around people rather then being on her own, she's always been like that since a baby, idolises her big brother she thinks he's amazing, and wants to do or copy whatever he's doing. Nursery have said she's got a variety of different friends at school, and that she's very sociable, when were out at the park she'll always go running over saying hello what's your name? sometimes she's a little to enthusiastic, and excited it can scare some children off, but most of the time it works. She asks a lot of questions like what are we doing today? where are we going? what's that? where's mummy/daddy. She can also answer a lot of questions like what would you like for lunch? What did you do at school? who did you play with? She can also tell me when she's upset and why, if were reading a story and I ask her what's happening she would be able to tell me, if we play games like Simon says she gets it and is able to follow the instructions. What she does have trouble with are the sort of questions like what do you want to be when you grow up? or what does a doctor do? why do people go to the doctors? or its like she's memorised things like if you ask her how old are you its always answered the same way, she always says im 3 years old, never oh im 3, or 3 nearly 4. Was just after some advice on what a 4 year olds understanding should be like, or if any of you have children with autism what there understanding is like.

@LightTripper He is grown up now, and doing really well, but when he had therapy a few years ago, it all came out about that teacher, from 15 years earlier.

I wonder if these people have any idea the impact they can have? Really sorry to hear that but glad that therapy brought it out and he's doing well now.

It's just ignorance plain and simple. There needs to be much more training and raising awareness of autism in schools, because from reading the SEN threads on here, it's still happening in all too many schools.

But that's my point, I as her mum didn't have any concerns about her with regards to Autism, she wasn't showing any signs or behaviours at home, but I went along with the assessment because I'm not a professional, and if down the line she did turn out to be Autistic and I done nothing about it I would never forgive myself. All I'm saying is I felt they was quick to jump on the oh why has she got a language delay oh it must be cos she's Autistic, and not just give her time, and have a bit more patience with her in explaining things. I agree schools need to listen to parents a lot more about their children as like you said a lot of children don't show any signs at school.

But then in my case @Hayleyjane83 I was convinced my DD wasn't autistic (I didn't see the signs because I have a lot of traits myself), but she is and us (and school) understanding that has been really beneficial for her.

I do see it has been tough for you, but in the end I would rather nurseries etc. slightly over-referred rather than under, as the fall out from not knowing can be really horrible as @Ellie56 pointed out from a previous generation.