Really panicky and upset that I have caused DS1's disability - please help!

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I know many of you know me and sorry I haven't been on the SN site for a while and also that I am going over old ground because I have mentioned this before but I have just read an article about a child with foetal alcohol syndrome and all her symptoms are similar to my DS's who has global developmental delay. He does have some "syndromous" behaviour too, like holding his hands and the doctors have always said it is genetic, though we have had tests and nothing has ever been diagnosed.

I drank wine during my pregnancy with him, I really can't remember how much but I know that it can't have been anything at all after about 8 weeks until about 16 weeks because I couldn't eat anything let alone drink and then I remember having a glass of wine with dinner on and off throughout the rest of the pregnancy, on occasions several times a week, but never more than one glass, I never felt even tipsy, ever. I had a book that said up to 10 units a week was ok, and I know I never went over that - it was never even as much as that, but at the time I wasn't aware of the dangers so I really can't remember thinking too much about it.

I remember when someone cracked open the champagne after DS was born I didn't want any, didn't fancy it and I remember thinking at the time that it would be weird drinking wine again, so I couldn't have had any for a while at that point. I was funny with food throughout the pregnancy, certain foods made me feel sick at times so I can't imagine I was drinking that regularly.

When I mentioned it to the doctors they just dismissed it and said FAS is caused by heavier drinking than that.

But now I am really really upset and anxious, what with the new guidelines, that I could have done this to DS.

Please help!

AS I expected, DH has just read eth same article and put it in front of me and said "have you read that?" I have just used all your replies to reassure him, hope it's worked. He has never pointed the finger at me, or accused me of anything, but like me he asks questions and he is way behind me in coming to terms with DS1's disabilty and still trying to find an explanation.

I think the recent press has made it hard because the media are often reporting lately that "even small amounts" may cause a mild version of FAS and that many children may be going undiagnosed but how can they know that if they don't even know what causes developmental delay? Of course they can only diagnose FAS if they know that the mother drank a lot, but it doesn't necessarily follow that if she drank moderately that the child will get a mild version, does it?

There is no eveidence to support this at all.

By that logic, soaking up too much water causes drowining. Thus soaking up a little bit of water part drowned you!

Biology tends not to work like that.

If small amounts of alcohil were a problem, hardly anyone would be normal!

Yes, you're right Fio, and Martian that makes absolute sense. I took four doses of antibiotics in nearly as many weeks plus painkillers on top when pg with DS2 (had terrible tooth pain/infections) and he was fine, but had I taken high doses every day throughout my pregancy he might not have been. (Or something like that!)

I would like to see someone do some research involving finding out how many women drank moderately during their pregnancy and how many of them had a child with a disabilty, preferably before it appears in the news again.

I remember sitting in my GPs surgery when I first found I was pg, and panicking because I had had a couple of nights out when I had drunk quite heavily before I knew, and she said 'oh for heavens sake, how do you think most people GET pregnant?'

14 units or less a week?

You know it does annoy me a bit that these reports keep popping up on the news which don't seem to be substantiated by anything. I don't know if any of you saw it but in the news a few months ago there was a report about how people drinking at home at night could have liver damage (in a nutshell) and they suggested that anyone drinking more than one unit a night (ie a small glass of wine) could be damaging their liver and up came a story of a woman who had liver failure after a year of drinking a few glasses of wine per night at home after a relationship breakup.

Logic told me at the time that it had made the news for a reason but it didn't stop me panicking (yes, bit of a thing going on here with me!) and rushing to my GP and blurting out "I think I drink too much and am damaging my liver and kidneys". He half smiled and gave a little roll of his eyes and said "want a blood test?" and even before I got the results back (all normal) I was wondering how many other people had gone to their GP and wasted public money on an unnecessary blood test that week.

I am all for guildelines on looking after your health but sometimes the way it is delivered is a bit alarmist.

Now you come to mention it Fio, I think I remember that study being mentioned. Does anyone have any info on it? I would like to show DH.