How do I explain to the school why DD14 with ASD can’t wear the school shop trousers

[DailyMailDontStealMyThread]

Received a lovely email from the head of year praising how well DD has settled into year 10.

She is using lots of new strategies and coping skills and we are very proud of all the effort she is putting in. It’s a massive turn around in the last 4 years which have included refusal to attend, leaving unauthorised, multiple exclusions and isolations, behaviour reports, I could go on.

The email ended with a but...

DD has a thing about clothes. Bottoms need to be tight and shirts need to be loose. She does wear the school tie as long as she can hide the top button being undone. She will only wear 1 type of white shirt because of the seams and she wears two sizes up so she can’t feel the armpit bit.

At home she wears next to nothing, prefers gym wear, wears the same outfits over and over again at the weekend - Lycra bottoms and vest top in all weathers. Prefers knickers and bra only so spends a lot of time in her room dressed that way.

The school’s “but” is they want DD to wear the uniform trousers from the uniform shop but they are a bit flared at the bottom and not very nice material (DD cuts all labels out of tops and bottoms)

I’ve tried to explain DD wont be able to cope with Loose trousers with rough seams on top of wearing the tie. It’s the wrong way round, she needs tight bottoms and loose top but they aren’t listening.

I’ve asked to meet face to face incase I’m not wording it very well over email but does anyone know where I’m coming from and can help me explain better please?

Just reading the full thread now - glad you are sorted.

My ASD child attends a school with a really strict uniform policy. Because of ASD my child wears everything loose and baggy with the tie well below the collar and the shirt open on the top. We have permission from senior staff. Doesn't look smart and my child is the only one that looks like this but it means that uniform can be worn, and all the staff know not to correct it. And no one else has asked to wear it this way.

Chocolate that would be DDs idea of heaven and I aim to help get her there.

Next step is making sure the message is fed back to all teachers not to confront DD over the trousers. Communication has hystoricly, poor because teachers don’t read their emails but I’ve asked for it to be included in her pupil portfolio so fingers crossed!

Glad to hear the meeting went well and that this thread helped you.

Clearly the "on the job" training has not included disability awareness training or HOY would not have made the crass remarks about other pupils and parents.

Exactly what I thought Ellie such a shame that there doesn’t seem to be very many opportunities for our teachers to be trained in even just the basics.

It’s a fight every step of the way, thank goodness for MN (smile)

It is also very short sighted OP. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse if the school unwittingly discriminates against a disabled pupil and then finds itself being taken to Tribunal for disability discrimination.

Not sure if this will be any use to you but you mentioned your daughter cutting labels out of clothes.. have you seen the M&S range of clothes foe children with additional needs. They do both normal clothes and school uniform with clever adjustments like no labels and softer seems and loads of other clever little things. Think the kids uniform range is called something like the easy dressing range. They go up to the age of 16 xx

Hi Hrosem we recently bought new school shirts in this range for he softer seams. They also have a Velcro strip behind the butttons.
DD doesn’t have an issue with buttons but she found the Velcro stayed together all day - she was worried the shirt would pop open!

I didn’t think to look at trousers for no labels, I’ll take a look