Autism and Violence

[RocknRolla]

I am at total breaking point with Dd5 she was diagnosed with high functioning autism in December but she is so violent, have just managed to get her to sleep after trying since 8pm. Since half term I have had to pick her up from school 14 times because of the violence which is usually unprovoked. She has attacked other children her 1-2-1 and her teachers.
Not sure what to do as she has been discharged from the autism team took her back to the gp who said that it was just part of autism and I just had to accept it ☹️. Have tried reward charts, removing privileges and time outs and nothing has worked.
Has anyone got any advice on what to do please.

Other posters might also mention Melatonin for sleep issues? For that a GP might well be gateway, forgot to mention that. Lack of sleep can exacerbate all sorts of behavioural problems.

you could try early help / team around family, got a referral via Gp and since then we have seen CAMHS, Tads and been assigned a family support worker who is fab. We had to hit rock bottom though before anyone listened, I have been punched, kicked and had stuff thrown at me by my otherwise loving son. I filmed his outbursts on my phone and showed to ED Pysch as they simply didn't believe me as he is so good at masking a school. We have also had a referral to Barnados for help with adolescence and to TADS a charity that helps ASD kids deal with anxiety. No one did anything unitl about six months ago and our lives have improved so much :)

I would be v careful about taking on home ed for a child who can be violent. It may help with her behaviour but you will be looking after her and dealing with her 24 7. You also solve the la issue v quickly as a special school place is costly. I would be forcing a review and naming a school I thought could meet her needs. Have you looked at any asd specific independent schools?

Get a Behaviour plan, get the school on board. It is totally not working! Whatever they are doing. Behaviour is the number one issue.

Is the school really meeting her needs? A wider question, my son is bright but has a lot of needs, he’d drown in mainstream at the moment. He is in a unit attached to a school, with a very low number of kids. Is this an option?

We have decided against home educating as don’t think it’s realistic. Having had DD at home for the holidays has proved to us that there is no way we could home educate, the whole holidays have been a fight to get her out of her room as she just wants to sit in there and play with her Lego. We have found a school that has a language unit and a nurture room so going to make enquiries in to that after the holidays and keep on at that LA for a place in a special school. Back to the GP tomorrow so going to see if they can offer any advice.

sounds like a great plan. Does your dd have an EHC Plan? If not, I would start the ball rolling by applying for one yourself. The LA will tell you you don't need one to get support for her, but the reality is that it will enable you to request a specific school or type of school and more importantly give you a right to appeal if you disagree with the LA. Ipsea website has good model letters and advice on applying. I have two with asd and have only been able to get the right provision by going down this route.

rocknrolla, a child that has found school overwhelming will often react by shutting down in the holidays or being extremely angry. If you home educate, one of the first stages is "detox". Sitting in your room to play lego would be something to encourage, then you gently move them downstairs, and only when the fear of going out "to school" subsides might you start venturing into some other network or activity - it wouldn't happen overnight. Not saying you have to home educate at all, just that her behaviour in the holidays might give you a false idea of what home educating lifestyle might actually be like. I can remember my 11 year old in an extreme state of anxiety the entire summer before he went to secondary. The next summer when we had decided to take him out after a year in Year 7, and he knew school was off the cards for a while, he took a short while (being older) to get used to the idea, and then was like a different child in the holidays. That anxious anticipation, once removed, made his behaviour less violent. Once he saw what the new plan was and we worked to the new agenda (home school day and home school activities) he was calm and happy. As I say he is now back at school and very happy there, after two years out, it helped him cope rather than lessening his coping mechanisms.

But your plan sounds an excellent one.