Is my child autistic?

[SianB]

I am new here and I am not asking for a diagnosis, just some views.
My son is almost 1 and I have been concerned for a while that he might be autistic -

he has trouble maintaining eye contact
he doesn't say very much, no words just very occasionally a bit of babbling (mamama, da and bababa)
he doesn't crawl or cruise yet
he arches his back all the time
he doesn't do anything with toys, just mouths them
he doesn't seem to understand any words
he doesn't like me to pass anything to him - I have to put it in front of him for him to pick up himself. If I touch his hand with something he pulls his hand away - a bit odd

Some days I think he is fine, others definitely not. I've read about pointing and he has started doing that this week. He pointed at a dog in the park yesterday. He also pointed at his cup yesterday, I passed it to him and he had a drink. He has no idea who Mummy and Daddy are . Should I try and chill about this? I'm stressing because I am going back to work soon and he will be in a lovely nursery, but if there is a problem, I don't want to 'run away' from it or pass it on to someone else.

aloha

I was interested in what you wrote about your ds because he sounds so similar to mine who is also nearly 3 and I suspect might be dyspraxic. He has similar motor skills to what you descibe especially going down steps, can't jump etc.

He seems to have some sensory issues in that he hates to be wrapped in a towel, be covered over in bed and dislikes hats, coats and jumpers etc. However in a lot of ways he seems under-sensitive and almost seeking out tactile stimulation - he loves mud, water, sand and puddles and always tries to put his whole body in them. He often lies down on the floor or against cushions. He also tries to put certain things in his mouth such as soap (uggh), play dough, paint and sand - but he doesn't mouth hard toys. He loves to be massaged on his back.

Is this something you have seen at all with your ds or it mainly just the noise thing?

What Aloha says is very interesting as it shows that you can have one sort of difficulty that CAN be associated with ASDs but doesn't mean the child HAS an ASD. My son, who is most definitely autistic, is very agile and well co-ordinated and seems phsically ahead of his chronological age! He does prefer a firm touch to a soft touch but has never had problems touching certain textures etc. I have often thought that, if he could be taught the rules of some games or sports, he could be in the paraolympics (seriously!).

aloha - I am not sure that he IS very good at copying. I am trying to think of anything he has copied. He started using a cup himself, but that was after a few months of me doing it for him. He brother shakes his head at him and he copies him and now does it all the time.
He hasn't 'copied' anything else that I can recall other than clapping his hands. For example, if I put blocks in a box, he never copies and puts blocks in the box himself.
When it is said that autistic children find it difficult to copy, would that mean that you would have to physically hold their hands and clap them together to show them how to do it?
I am fairly sure he is pointing - well he is extending his arm, even if the index finger is not 'pointed'. Do children with autism not point AT ALL?

In support of what davros says - my dd has learning disabilities but not an ASD. She doesn't really copy and has to be 'taught' most things. It is also probable she has some sensory issues (hates anyone touching her left hand, snatches it away). Though hasten to add that your ds is streaks ahead of my dd already and not suggesting for one min that he would have similar condition to hers. Just that it is prob v. difficult to diagnose from signs you have at moment.

Sakar, my ds loves to lie down all the time. But then, I'm afraid, so do I - I'm not sure it's not part of his laid-back nature or inherited idleness. He also loves having his back rubbed, but I don't read anything into that as so do most people, I think. But yes, he still will put anything into his mouth, which I do suspect may be a dyspraxia thing. He has good concentration though and loves to do maths workbooks for teenies and be read to for hours. he thinks he can jump, which is sweet, but in reality he is just sort of galloping. We are stuck with the pushchair for a little while longer, I think, as try as he might, he still walks painfully slowly and keeps stopping. But he is getting better and I feel confident that though he won't be an athlete, it shouldn't hold him back otherwise. I recognise some of it in myself, as I am exceptionally and unusually bad at sport - I run slowly, have no hand to eye coordination and so cannot even begin to attemp to play a game of tennis etc. And it doesn't torment me.
SianB, copying at not yet one is a very simple thing and pretty much exactly as you describe it - clapping when you do, using a cup. He's very, very young still. And from all I've read and understood from Mumsnet, pointing is THE single biggest clue that your child is or isn't autistic. And yes, if hey don't point, they may well turn out to be autistic, and if they do, then it is very unlikely they are. Pointing is early language/communication. He is talking to you with that gesture. I think you are really worrying too early. And his language isn't behind at all. He's not yet one!

heartinthecountry - does this mean your daughter has no communication problems (daftly, perhaps I had assumed lack of copying was mostly autism) ? When you first realised that she isn't able to copy very well, how did you rule out autism? How old is she?

I agree with Davros too - my NT ds1 (2.8) is very bright and hits all milestones early (it is clear that ds2 is hitting each milestone about 4 months after ds1 did). However, my NT son has these 'quirks':
he hates the feel of grass on his feet
he hates a speck of dirt on his hands and it has to be wiped off immediately
he fears rain and snow - he hates the feel of them on his face - yesterday the rain made his ear sore!!!
he has to 'go that way' in the car all the time
etc.

In my second son, does pointing alone pretty much rule out autism? As said, I am not sure he copies.

aloha - thanks, our posts crossed...

it sounds to me that for his age he is copying. Imitation is a funny thing- it's something that autistic children find hard but not necessarily impossible. Ds1 is the worst case I have ever come across for not understanding copying. He doesn't get it at all.

Also agree not to get too hung up on individual quirks. My NT ds2 spent his entire second year lining things up. Autistic ds1 has never lined anything up in his life. DS2's speech was very slow to kick in (didn't really talk until he was 2) but I never thought for one moment that he was autistic (in his second year) as his ability to communicate and his interest in people and the world around him was so great. You have to look at the bigger picture. Individually ds1 didn't have that many autistic behaviours in his second year, but he was still shaping up to be severely autistic, and there were sings of that- but the main one really was not pointing.

Davros your son sounds like my friend's dd- she is amazing- really gifted in things like balance etc. But a nightmare as she escapes over walls and things all the time.

Aloha, ROFL about the lying down! Ditto!
I have heard adults with autism who can talk about their difficulties say that tooth brushing hurts and Donna Williams says that if, for instance, she rubbed her arm with her hand, she could only feel it EITHER on her hand OR her arm. When she realised that other people could feel both, she started to think about it more and could then feel both (don't know where I read this, years old).
I think copying is important and that children with autism CAN copy but its a matter of maintaining the little skills they have copied and then starting to do them spontaneously, e.g. hand clapping.

Also I think some children with autism do suddenly understand copying (maybe later though) and then other things fall into place quite quickly. My friend's dd suddenly understood imitaiton age about 3 and then things started to move for her. DS1 can now copy certain actions in certain places- but generalisation doesn't come easy!

The other day I had a really weird moment. I held my leg but could only feel it on my leg- it was like someone else was touching me. Really freaked me out for a couple of seconds and did occur to me that it might be like that for some people with autism all the time. Freaky. Do you think it comes down to mono-processing. DS1 never used to be able to walk and carry something (even something small like a sweet) at the same time.

SianB - my dd does have communication problems and the non-copying thing is part of that. I know she doesn't have an ASD because she was diagnosed very early (4 months) with a different syndrome. We got such an early diagnosis because she started having seizures so it was obvious there was something wrong. I do feel lucky in some ways that I was spared all the 'is she, isn't she?' stuff.

Sorry, I didn't mean to confuse things. As I said, I wasn't suggesting that your ds may have a similar syndrome to my dd, just suggesting that there are many different reasons for possible behaviours that don't necessarily point to autism, and may not point to anything at all other than your ds own particular quirks.

Agree Jimjams that sometimes something just clicks and then you're off. My DS has always had problems with some prepositions, a friend's DD can't get body parts, then memory can get better so they can go to another room, get something and bring it back etc or follow 2 or more instructions. To me Emotions is a classic concept that doesn't work very well if taught because you never really get it unless you feel it iyswim. I suppose what I was trying to say earlier is that children with autism CAN do lots of things, they just don't and that's why they have to be taught things with reinforcement, repetition and all sorts of strategies until, hopefully, at least some things sink in and come from them and are spontaneous. SOrry to drone!

SianB

Just wanted to pick up on what you said about your ds1 being ahead developmentally. My ds1 is also very bright and spoke very well early on, great imagination etc. Whilst there is no doubt that my ds2 does have developmental delays/problems (as yet "undiagnosed", sometimes I think I over-exaggerate them because I compare to my ds1 at the same age (it's impossible not to). But most of what you say about your ds2 sounds fairly 'normal' - it just may be that he is not developing as fast as you saw first time round. Also second children are bound to get less individual attention, especially if the older one is articulate and used to getting his questions answered - however hard you try as a parent.

sorry don't know how the wink got in there

Hi SianB - my son is nearly 5 and is autistic. Looking back there were definite signs from birth really but certainly from 6 months. However he is 'mildly autistic' and is going to mainstream school next month.

Obviously I am only looking at your post and I'd hate to say anything definate but some of what you say does strike as unusual. However the pointing, is good, very good, as autistic children are very late to do this. Pointing is all about sharing interest and autistic children don't do this as I am sure you have read. Now you'll be worrying that it is something else so you should maybe go and see your GP and at least voice your concerns. Your ds is still very young and may just be a bit slow in developing.

Keep posting here as there is a wealth of experience on this board.

Sorry, don't have personal experience of autism but understand your concerns all the same. Have you mentioned this to your Health Visitor? - you could take a list of your observations with you then you don't forget anything.
There are loads of great people on here with special needs experience, so I'm sure someone will be able to advise you HTH

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... he arches his back when he is not happy about something e.g. I lie him down to change his nappy, I put him in his cot when he doesn't want to be, I pick him up and he wants to be on the floor etc..
Eulalia - what were the definite signs at 6 months?
Don't get on with my HV AT ALL.

Sian, my very NT dd would arch her back if I did things she didn't like from a very early age. She dosn't have autism, just a very 'strong' personality!

NT?

Twiglett - I keep reading that babies utter their first words at around 12-13 months. I am sure he isn't even close. "Mama" doesn't count does it since he mamamamamas all the time?

Sorry, neurologicaly typical....a more accurate way of describing 'normal' (not that dd could be described as 'normal' )

Ds started to speak at 13 months and was slower than dd.

Speech isn't a great indicator as ds said his first word just after his first birthday and even at age 2 he had a normal number of words - it just didn't improve at the rate it should have.

Signs at 6 months?.. hmmm well they weren' strong signs but he used to do this funny thing sitting and turn his head sideways when I went out the room. A bit older he would do odd things like stuff cloths into toys and he had an obsession with lids. All his physical development was normal though so that isn't necessarily a sign either. He also never arched his back.

I will have a think more, its hard now that he is so much older. Also autism can be difficult to diagnose before 18 months at the earliest and most don't till a child is around age 3. There is a Checklist for Autism in Toddlers (CHAT) here

CHAT but I stress it is for 18 months so your ds is still too young.

Also when the first word does come, think about what it is and how he says it. ds said "button" which was sewn onto a favourite toy and he said it to himself, wasn't even looking at me. dd's was "here" and she was offering something to me - all about communicating and sharing with me.

Thanks.
I sometimes feel as if he is trying to talk to me. I will say something to him. He will stop, look at me intently and say "Bo!" with real purpose. Lot of the time though he will ignore me.
He just seems to be behind, and getting further behind in speech, language and motor skills
You say your son is 'mildly autistic', can I ask how much that impacts daily life? Fantastic that he will be going into mainstream.