Is it okay if I pop over here tonight? I am feeling so upset after reading DS's report.

[pinkchampagne]

I don't normally post in this section, as my DS hasn't got a dx yet, but he does have problems & I am totally convinced he is dyspraxic.
He has had various problems since nursery days. Initially the worry was mainly with his social & interaction problems, but he was very late learning to pedal properly, walk down stairs one foot at a time, dress himself etc.
He started school in the top group for his ability, but I knew he wouldn't stay there long, as he had such poor concentration, and tbh he appears pretty lazy & doesn't have the drive to learn that other children his age seem to.
He has an IEP & is under school action +, but school seem to have come to a bit of a stand still re getting him loooked at. (I am trying to do this myself now)
He moved from top group to core group in year 1, which I felt more relaxed with, as I knew he wouldn't keep up with the top group, but now in year 2 he has been put on the bottom table because he requires so much 1:1 attention.
He has terrible problems concentrating, organising himself, writing (his writing is really bad & he still reverses some letters & numbers), his social skills are appalling & he is often sat on his own in the playground, which is heartbreaking to watch, (I also work in the school) and he is quite immature compared to his peers.

I know he has problems & I know exactually what he's like, so should be prepared to hear his teacher tell me (in a very diplomatic way) what he is struggling with in class & I should be perpared to read the same kind of things in his school report - so why do I still spend the whole evening in tears after every parents evening & every report I read?

Today DS brought his report home & it was a very depressing read. It basically told me he struggles with everything & his effort was disappointing in all subjects.

I have been tearful since reading it. I just don't know what I can do to help & feel I should have been doing more at home with him.
I hear him read every night, but I feel I must have failed for him to have sloped so badly in 2 years.
His report just seemed so negative & grey.

Thanks, I am going to make an appt at the doctors with him next week.
I have just spoken to his dad & asked if he can come along with me & he said that he is available on Wednesday, so I will try & make it for then.
Jhyesmum - sorry to hear you have had similar worries with your DS, but pleased to hear you are getting so much support with him.

keep us posted, i am sure you will feel much better when you feel something is being done to help your DS.

I will keep you posted. Thanks for all your support.

Glad to help if i can.

Can't get him in to see a doctor tomorrow now, as when I phoned the surgery they told me they are closed tomorrow afternoon (apparantly something they do once every 4 wks), so I will have to try again next week.

Found out today that his teacher has gone off sick with stress & could be off for some time.
DS apparantly doesn't repond well to supply teachers, and I am now really worried that he will slope yet further.

Hi

Just wanted to say I know how you feel regarding the report. My son has dyspraxia and his handwriting is awful. In the end county gt him a laptop. we waited two years for occupational therapy - he got 2 hours a week for 6 weeks when he was in year 4 (we were referred in year 2). Now he is in a school which provides OT and pysio and the transformation is noticable. His handwriting is still pretty bad but it is legible and formed and is so much better. However much his infant and primary schools tried to help his actual handwriting nothing improved until his whole physicality was addressed. My child has 'problems with gravity' which is why he wriggles so much when sitting. He apparantly has to 'fight' to stay upright which is one of the reasons he gets so tired. We only discovered this last year when we had a private OT assessment and although it was expensive it was the best money I have every spent.

It is really disheartening to get a report which does seem so bleak. I spent all of my son's infant school years in that position. I nearly ended it all after his year 3 annual review which was a nightmare. Then in year 4 he just clicked with the teacher (an old fashioned termagent who ruled with a rod of iron) and at reporting evening we got a glowing report - I kept saying 'this is my child your talking about isn't it?' So things will get better with your son. We all beat ourselves up about how much extra work we should do with them but when push comes to shove they are tired after school, we are tired and that combo is never a good one. Far better to feed his general knowledge with books, conversation and practical stuff like DIY and cooking than be that grumpy old parent which I became (and still am) harping on about handwriting. Do remember if it is really really bad then he will get a scribe for GCSEs and that is why you need a diagnosis NOW. If anyone tests him don't encourage him to 'do his best' actually what you want is him to do his worst then he will get far more support and access to amenuensis in future exams (unfortunatly not KS1 or 2 SATS)

Good luck

So pleased to hear that your DS has made such improvements & is getting lots of support, FM.
My DS is so hard to get motivated & he slouches while sitting to do his work.
He often doesn't finish work & has to be threatened with missing his breaktimes too.

My mum told me it's all down to me as a parent & I need to do more with him, but like you say, we're both tired & it's so stressful getting him to do a small amount of homework, for both of us.
I find it so hard getting him to write anything readable & that is just on a 1:1 with me, so I can imagine how hard he is in class of nearly 30 children.

I have just sat with him to do a short book review & it was very stressful.
I feel very tearful again right at this moment in time.
The fact I cannot get to the doctors tomorrow, that I am worried about him having loads of different supply teachers over the coming weeks & then doing a small amount of writing with him & having it reinforced to me how much help he actually needs, has all kind of got to me quite a lot tonight.

Spoke to the SENCO today & told her how worried I was about DS1, especially after reading the report.
She said that because of how DS is in class, it is hard for them to really see how bright he is & especially as he doesn't have the confidence to put his hand up & answer questions.
I told her I totally understood & that no one knows more about how frustrating DS can be than I do, but that I was very worried & want something done.
She eventually agreed to refer him herself, for a developmental check with a school doctor as a first step, so at least something appears to be being done for him at school at last.

SENCO did warn that there is a chance they will fob it off because of what's going on at home & say we must expect it because of the emotional side of things.
He is apparatly sometimes using a sloped writing board in class, according to SENCO.