I think mothers are inclined to blame themselves. One of mine was an emergency CS, I hated it and was determined to have a vaginal delivery next time. Well it got really close to another emergency CS but a very nice Senior Registrar managed to deliver him, horrible forceps resulting in a very bruised 10 lb baby who looked like a heavy weight boxer who lost the match. I felt incredibly guilty, I had been selfish and wanted the birth my way.
I then got incredibly over protective, he was a very ugly baby, my other 3 were beautiful and lots of people commented that my daughter was the most beautiful baby they had ever seen, apart from their own of course. I felt there was something wrong with him because he didn't look like his siblings and decided the midwives were hiding something from me. If I saw two midwives talking I was sure they were discussing what was wrong with him. I think I needed to see a psychiatrist but I hid it well.
I won't lie, he was a very demanding baby, I felt guilty so I think I contributed to that but here we are 20 odd years later and he has a good degree, is handsome and well adjusted.
His birth and early life were very traumatic and don't seem to have had any effect and don't know if that goes for everyone but I do think mums should be kind to themselves and not blame themselves for everything.
OP I hope everything works out OK.