Quick one- can a child have anxiety / attachment problem cause by traumatic birth?

[Waitingforsleep]

Latest from camhs. Could this happen? Is this what explains Dd behaviour? Or is this camhs?

[Crazyhorse123]

As an adult psychotherapist I always ask patients about their birth and earliest memories. As well as their primary care givers mental health. From my point of view I do think the birth and a parent having pnd can create potential anxieties in a child. But I work with adults so would really listen to the child experts. I have a son myself who had a v difficult birth and am posting about his anxieties . I would not say it is the cause at all but may be a contributing factor. And it is never a judgement on the parent just a way of understanding the processes of the psyche.

[grannytomine]

I think mothers are inclined to blame themselves. One of mine was an emergency CS, I hated it and was determined to have a vaginal delivery next time. Well it got really close to another emergency CS but a very nice Senior Registrar managed to deliver him, horrible forceps resulting in a very bruised 10 lb baby who looked like a heavy weight boxer who lost the match. I felt incredibly guilty, I had been selfish and wanted the birth my way.

I then got incredibly over protective, he was a very ugly baby, my other 3 were beautiful and lots of people commented that my daughter was the most beautiful baby they had ever seen, apart from their own of course. I felt there was something wrong with him because he didn't look like his siblings and decided the midwives were hiding something from me. If I saw two midwives talking I was sure they were discussing what was wrong with him. I think I needed to see a psychiatrist but I hid it well.

I won't lie, he was a very demanding baby, I felt guilty so I think I contributed to that but here we are 20 odd years later and he has a good degree, is handsome and well adjusted.

His birth and early life were very traumatic and don't seem to have had any effect and don't know if that goes for everyone but I do think mums should be kind to themselves and not blame themselves for everything.

OP I hope everything works out OK.

[AllwaysCarryMashems]

Op why would you be to blame even if truamatic birth was a compounding factor in your dds diagnosis?

I have been told by several experts that my severely oxygen deprived birth could have been the factor that meant I developed adhd &dyspraxia when neither of my parents have these conditions. My birth absolutely was not my mother's fault (& for the record I hate her as she is one of the few mbp & npd mothers so I wouldn't excuse 'blame' unless there simpley isn't any)

I knew there was a 30% chance that my children would get my adHD. I took it, because what's the alternative- pexpletives with these conditions don't have children? I'm brilliant with kids & have allways wanted them & my disabilities are just part of who I am. I'm not saying I havn't felt horrendous guilt at times, because it's not much harder watching my children go through this that it is for me to have lived it, plus they have several more disabilities than I do which is tough..... but i know I would say the same thing to them when they get to the adulthood and want children. The world being all the same can never be a good thing.

[MeirAya]

Physically traumatic birth

• problems with handedness
  
• ongoing worries about development
  
  This isn't sounding like attachment. Can you get her seen by a paediatric neurologist or similar?

[blaeberry]

Apparently it is unlikely anyone is truly ambidextrous. I remember a talk by a professor of handedness (or at least that was his specialist subject) who said every single 'ambidextrous' person he tested was better with one hand than the other when properly tested. They were still pretty good with both though so you could argue he was being a bit pedantic.

[youarenotkiddingme]

I love these boards too for the lack of over invested pity - but plenty of lively chat and actual empathy.

Who knows re traumatic birth. I personally don't think it's a contributed but yes early attachment is important to a certain extent but even then that can be out of the hands of parents.
It's the same with CP etc caused by traumatic births and lack of oxygen. Sometimes exists due to in utero damage and sometimes traumatic births, extreme premature births and lack or parental skin to skin and touch etc don't yield any long term effects.

I give the example of my cousin born at 23+5. She had little amniotic fluid to survive in from 22 weeks. Born less than a Lb in weight and 8in long. She wouldn't be consider viable in some counties.
She spent 4 months in NICU.
She has some mild LD but making progress and catching up and a childhood form of epilepsy (that any child can get) but other than that is perfectly healthy and attached.

I had a kidney infection when ph with DS at 19 weeks. Also had a traumatic birth and emcs.
I still blame his fathers side of the family as they have ASD! (Btw I don't 'blame' iyswim?).
I'd also very seriously question his father for ASD knowing what I do now

[BuffySENsational]

Hear hear zzzz you guys don't have that over interested or pity thing going on ^^ thats why I like these boards compared to the main one. It's great knowing that you guys 'get' it without all the angst that rl throws up. I've learnt so much from hear - I'd be lost without you guys

[Willow505]

No problem zzzzz - I survived to post another day! I am still getting used to MN. Glad you put the BF lady in her place!

[Willow505]

Waiting I do hope that you are feeling better today.

Please don't blame yourself for any of this - none of this is your fault, regardless of what any therapist says. My DD has ASD - as far as I am concerned, it is (predominantly) hereditary (although I am afraid to say anything in case I get bloody shot down in flames again!). She got it from me, I got it from my parents etc. It was no ones fault. And I don't really care anyway - maybe she'll be a scientist, like me!

I am the right parent for my DD's - I understand them like few people can. I'm sure you are also a wonderful parent to your children!

[Craftyoldhen]

I think I read somewhere that a lack of a dominant hand is more common is in people with spectrum conditions. Any know of this is true?

My DH is ambidextrous, and it looks like my DS may be too, although at 2 it may be too early to tell.

[drspouse]

Agree with sister too. Maybe if things were really awful for months after.

[drspouse]

Dd has lack of dominant hand which means her two sides of the brain are not integrated
Rubbish. My DS is ambidextrous and it's perfectly normal and really common (as per the paediatric neurologist who assessed him for epilepsy, which thankfully he doesn't have).
Sounds like these psychologists are randomly plucking fads out of thin air. I'm an adopter with a geeky background and have read loads on attachment disorder. That's not how it comes about.

[SisterViktorine]

I think an incredibly traumatic birth could cause an attachment disorder if it affected the bond/ interaction between the mother and child during the months after the birth.

Surely not just by the birth itself though. I would need to see some research papers and hear that from some highly respected professionals before I was buying a bar of that.

[BuffySENsational]

None taken lougle I actually sort of agree with you re that one mums account of vaccines m. I don't believe vaccines cause autism. I wonder if perhaps these children already had autism and the vaccines triggered a rapid regression but I wholly agree that for a very small minority vaccine nation may have triggered it.....

In much the same way that a very small minority of mothers do have munchausen but definitely not the majority that are suggested may iyswim?

[Craftyoldhen]

My 2nd child's birth was a lovely calm elective csection so not stressful for either of us. And yet he also has ASD.

I beat myself up regularly that it's my fault because I must have passed on dodgy genes Whatever the cause it's a bloody difficult thing to come to terms with, and feeling guilty is probably part of the process.

[lougle]

No offence at all

[BuffySENsational]

I absolutely can be blamed for my DS autism because he gets it directly from me me too polter

OP don't be to quick to be in any way hard on yourself it's hard enough as it is. Personally I stay away from any woo woo professional's that make claims like this and refuse to have anything to do with them. I'm only interested in science and facts.

[Clankboing]

Hi waiting, in some authorities they get professionals to see children , their results are collated and then a paed diagnoses based on this. In other authorities the paed sees the child first then gets them to see professionals based on his/her opinion. Do you know what happens in your authority? If you have already had your dd go through the system of being assessed, how long ago was it and could you try again from scratch? Do you write a diary of behaviours? This helped us with my ds. You don't need to answer my questions , Im just throwing them in there. Could you talk to someone from the NAS locally? When my ds was started off with assessment, he got referred to camhs but we never saw anyone, they referred us straight through for assessment by the autistic team as the school that he went to were so emphatic that there was no doubt. Sorry for mixed tired message but hope you can get something out of my jumble that will help.