Quick one- can a child have anxiety / attachment problem cause by traumatic birth?

[Waitingforsleep]

Latest from camhs. Could this happen? Is this what explains Dd behaviour? Or is this camhs?

[Waitingforsleep]

Thanks it is a good discussion but a hard one too. I did struggle to get over the Birth it wasn't the rush of love I expected or had with my son she screamed for months and I did wonder what the hell have I done? My marriage suffered and yes there were tears. However there was also a lot of love cuddles and pleasure too I certainly wasn't cold towards her I loved her and did bond.
I didn't get the help I needed and remember when we all met at post natal classes when we had to go round in a circle and tell our birth story that I cried- why didn't the health visitor mention it to me afterwards :(

It's brought it all up for me again and now I find myself blaming myself and worrying but then also being incredibly angry at the useless doctors involved.
I feel sad tonight just need to chill

[Waitingforsleep]

They couldn't pull her out at birth and were yanking at her head :(

[lougle]

I'm a creationist but I think that things can happen at any point during creation (conception) or development (from Conception + 1 second to adulthood) that changes the course of history.

For example...the vaccination debate. I don't for one minute think that 'vaccines cause autism' in the general sense, and all of my children had the vaccines without hesitation. But the mumsnetter whose child was developing perfectly normally, videod waving and talking in the days before the MMR and then suddenly regressed and developed severe autism straight after - I believe her. I cringe for her when people so very certainly say 'these vaccines DO NOT cause autism, because she has been told that, for her child it is very likely that it did. Now we can talk about co-incidence, etc., but the reality is that we just don't know enough about the nuances of the body to know everything.

All 3 of mine were induced. 2 have issues. DD2 should be a leftie but sucks her left hand habitually so had to be right handed!

[Ineedmorepatience]

waiting none of this is your fault, sometimes shit happens and we have to deal with the consequences!

My personal opinion is that you are more than likely right and your Dd will eventually get an ASD dx! So many proffs are still missing girls and parents are getting it right!

Please be kind to yourself 💐💐

[Waitingforsleep]

But I'm finding it hard thinking the birth caused the asd now. Gosh what am I doing? Will be ok tomorrow .x

[BuffySENsational]

I wasn't going to wade in however, my ds1 was a traumatic birth. His conception was not consensual and o spent the whole of my pregnancy desperately loving my bump but also desperately scared that once he arrived I would hate him. During his labour I spent 19 hours with contractions 3 mins apart and my lower back dislocated with each contraction. I then spent six months after his birth in a mother & baby pysch unit and a further 4 years in intensive psychotherapy. Ds1 and I have always been emotionally close with a very strong bond. He met all of his developmental milestones although in hindsight it was obvious he had ADHD and Autism. I don't blame me or anything that happened to me for his issues.

Any neurological condition like Autism or ADHD is predetermined at conception you are born with it you do not develop it later in life. The signs just become more obvious with age and dependant on where exactly they are on the spectrum. At least that is my believe in a nutshell so to speak.

I echo polter and zzz re the woo woo go with your instincts when ds1 was going through SA I had never heard of any of the things he was diagnosed with eventually. But early on professional's had tried to hint at things ranging from it was my fault, I caused him to behave that way, I had munchausen or I was experiencing some kind of breakdown and this was the reason. I scoffed at the lot of them and I just kept insisting they find a real and valid explanation for his behaviour and that I was not the cause merely an observer

[blaeberry]

waiting if the birth did cause ASD, what then? You didn't cause the traumatic birth; it was in no way your fault. Things happen over which we have no control and the birth was one of them. Have you ever had a debriefing with a midwife about the birth? If you haven't, it may be helpful even now. Whatever the cause of your ds difficulties, it wasn't down to anything you had control over.

[blaeberry]

polt X-post.

[Clankboing]

Hi waiting, in some authorities they get professionals to see children , their results are collated and then a paed diagnoses based on this. In other authorities the paed sees the child first then gets them to see professionals based on his/her opinion. Do you know what happens in your authority? If you have already had your dd go through the system of being assessed, how long ago was it and could you try again from scratch? Do you write a diary of behaviours? This helped us with my ds. You don't need to answer my questions , Im just throwing them in there. Could you talk to someone from the NAS locally? When my ds was started off with assessment, he got referred to camhs but we never saw anyone, they referred us straight through for assessment by the autistic team as the school that he went to were so emphatic that there was no doubt. Sorry for mixed tired message but hope you can get something out of my jumble that will help.

[BuffySENsational]

I absolutely can be blamed for my DS autism because he gets it directly from me me too polter

OP don't be to quick to be in any way hard on yourself it's hard enough as it is. Personally I stay away from any woo woo professional's that make claims like this and refuse to have anything to do with them. I'm only interested in science and facts.

[lougle]

No offence at all

[Craftyoldhen]

My 2nd child's birth was a lovely calm elective csection so not stressful for either of us. And yet he also has ASD.

I beat myself up regularly that it's my fault because I must have passed on dodgy genes Whatever the cause it's a bloody difficult thing to come to terms with, and feeling guilty is probably part of the process.

[BuffySENsational]

None taken lougle I actually sort of agree with you re that one mums account of vaccines m. I don't believe vaccines cause autism. I wonder if perhaps these children already had autism and the vaccines triggered a rapid regression but I wholly agree that for a very small minority vaccine nation may have triggered it.....

In much the same way that a very small minority of mothers do have munchausen but definitely not the majority that are suggested may iyswim?

[SisterViktorine]

I think an incredibly traumatic birth could cause an attachment disorder if it affected the bond/ interaction between the mother and child during the months after the birth.

Surely not just by the birth itself though. I would need to see some research papers and hear that from some highly respected professionals before I was buying a bar of that.

[drspouse]

Dd has lack of dominant hand which means her two sides of the brain are not integrated
Rubbish. My DS is ambidextrous and it's perfectly normal and really common (as per the paediatric neurologist who assessed him for epilepsy, which thankfully he doesn't have).
Sounds like these psychologists are randomly plucking fads out of thin air. I'm an adopter with a geeky background and have read loads on attachment disorder. That's not how it comes about.

[drspouse]

Agree with sister too. Maybe if things were really awful for months after.

[Craftyoldhen]

I think I read somewhere that a lack of a dominant hand is more common is in people with spectrum conditions. Any know of this is true?

My DH is ambidextrous, and it looks like my DS may be too, although at 2 it may be too early to tell.

[Willow505]

Waiting I do hope that you are feeling better today.

Please don't blame yourself for any of this - none of this is your fault, regardless of what any therapist says. My DD has ASD - as far as I am concerned, it is (predominantly) hereditary (although I am afraid to say anything in case I get bloody shot down in flames again!). She got it from me, I got it from my parents etc. It was no ones fault. And I don't really care anyway - maybe she'll be a scientist, like me!

I am the right parent for my DD's - I understand them like few people can. I'm sure you are also a wonderful parent to your children!

[Willow505]

No problem zzzzz - I survived to post another day! I am still getting used to MN. Glad you put the BF lady in her place!