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DS fell out of car onto road! :(

36 replies

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 05/02/2007 12:15

Further to previous postings about nightmare scenarios involving DS2 (age 6 with a type of cp/development delay/learning difficulties etc etc) escaping from his car seat, this morning he has really surpassed himself. Despite our best efforts at keeping him in his seat, this morning, DH was taking him from horse riding (RDA) to school, had to stop twice because he kept getting out of his 5 point harness (an apparently "impossible" mission) and on the third occasion, before DH knew what was happening, DS had yanked his seat sideways, opened the door and fallen out!!!!

The child lock on the door had been taken off. Normally they are both on, both sides, all the time. This is obviously a big oversight but occasinally we take one off if we are giving visitors a lift. We have always remembered to put in back on until this time. Thank God DH was only doing about 10mph (in traffic in a city centre!) and a passing workman, walking in the street, as he was working on a road nearby, caught DS before he actually hit the road. How lucky was this! There was a bus a few feet away, the next vehicle behind our car.

DH is still shaking and feeling sick. When they got to school the secretary made him a sweet coffee he was in such a state.

For a while we didn't take DS out without anyone else in the car to sit next to him and prevent him undoing the main seat belt (this is what then enables him to wiggle his top half out of the 5 point harness and move the seat along from the middle - where he always sits - if he is so inclined.) I posted before a horrible situation in which he had wound a window down and was trying to get DD's booster seat out of the window when I was doing 60mph on a dual carriageay!!! Took me long enough to get over that so God knows how DH feels. (The childlocks were on obviously on that occasion but we had made the serious error of leaving something (booster seat) within his reach.)

We have a Zafira so we then started folding the seat on the seat belt side of DS down to stop him reaching the buckle so easily. I knew he could still do it if he wanted to.. but he hadn't shown much interest in a while so we had thought DH might be ok on his own.. so I went to an exercise class! How guilty I now feel!

We have bought ALL the different gadgets for covering the seat belt buckles. He just takes them off. He can manouvere his fingers into anything; his hands are clumsy but very strong.

He is pretty much out or control in many respects. No idea how we are supposed to keep coping with all this behaviour. He laughed throughout this morning's escapade and happily told his one-to-one about it (in few word sentences as he does). He just doesn't care. It would be easy to say he has no understanding of what he is doing when he acts in these ways (hurting people is another of his latest things) but he does understand - he just doesn't care. And he has no fear of danger whatsoever.

Our long awaited move (to a house which is to be adapted with a ground floor extension for him) has been held up by lack of available OTs. They've not even started yet and we had hoped to move in early March. Knowing we are moving soon in the only thing that is keeping us sane. Live will be a bit easier in the new house; we have put lots of thought into making the very best of this move. We live for respite weekends (he goes for 6 hours every fortnight) and then we are too wiped out to do anything much with the time away from him, which isn't fair on the others, particularly DD. (8).

I fear for the future.

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FioFio · 05/02/2007 12:17

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MegaLegs · 05/02/2007 12:22

You poor things - what a frightening experience. I wish I could offer some answers about the seatbelt problem.

foxinsocks · 05/02/2007 12:27

I don't know what to suggest about the seats. Only other option I guess, is to try and find something that operates with a lock/key that only you can undo but I don't know if anything like that exists. Sorry things are so tough.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 05/02/2007 12:34

Thanks guys. Hi Fox You can't do that unfortunately; it would be dangerous re getting him in and out quickly in an emergency. It would breach regs. because of that as well not that I care; we are already breaching regs but altering the five point harness. We cross it over behind his head so there is less slack. He couldn't get his arms out of that for a while, but with effort, he achieved it in the end.

We actually borrowed a harness once before - think they called Houdini Harnesses actually, they are quite expensive, but that was really hard to undo (for us.. when we needed to get him out..) and he even got his arms and shoulders out of that!! So we gave it back to the owners.

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jhyesmum · 05/02/2007 12:48

OMG - my heart is in my mouth for you.

I hope DH is ok too.

DimpledThighs · 05/02/2007 13:02

that is awful how horrible for you.

I can't offer any advice but I fell out of the car when I was about 7. It was on a dual carriageway, I was fine, my mum is still haunted by it.

I hope you find a solution to this - it must be such a worry for you.

tobysmumkent · 05/02/2007 13:13

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Pixel · 05/02/2007 14:44

Glad your ds is ok, what a lucky escape! I know how much these things shake you up because I wrote off our car a while ago (partly due to ds's antics in the back) and I'm only just calming down now. Have you looked into all the different kinds of harness? Its just that our school taxi has one that fastens behind the seat so there are no buckles for the children to reach. It wouldn't work in our car because we would have to climb into the boot but with a Zafira it might work. There is a special tool with a blade in it that you can get to cut the straps in an emergency which might be useful if you are having to somehow fasten up your five-point harness.

Pixel · 05/02/2007 14:47

By the way, I struggled with the Houdini harness at first because it has a sort of backwards buckle to confuse little fingers, but now I've got the hang of it and find it really easy. Maybe you could have another try?

Pixel · 05/02/2007 14:49

I phoned \linkwww.crelling.com/\these people} when I had a question about fitting my new harness and they were really friendly and helpful.

Pixel · 05/02/2007 14:49

Sorry, here

mamama · 05/02/2007 15:10

Escaping from a car seat is quite a feat.

Poor you - it must have been very frightening for you all

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 05/02/2007 15:54

The problems we have a lot with DS are that he can do things he 'shouldnt be able to do'.

For example, the baby restraint type catches don't work because he is as strong as an ox, (stronger than my NT/non disabled 8 year old DD for instance) but doesn't have the presence of mind/maturity not to do these dangerous things. He can't walk or stand unaided.. but he can climb (and does!) like you wouldn't believe, although can't get back down from where he has climbed, so if unseen, will just fall. He has to watched/monitored pretty much 24/7 (in fact I watch him at night on a monitor).

If this is how he is at 6, where will it end?

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coppertop · 05/02/2007 17:24

OMG! I'm glad ds turned out to be okay. Poor dh. It must have been a terrible shock.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 05/02/2007 22:21

LOL I have just emailed TopGear and asked them what to do! Said the OT can't help us, (she asks us when she needs to advise other parents!); we have bought every gadget there is; that even fancy harnesses don't prevent the biggest problem: him just reaching down and undoing seat belt. Told them they are our last hope, and that we will take him anywhere, do anything, let them have him for their programme, that he is a really nice, smiley, sociable little boy (to all those who don't have to look after him! )

And I sent them a picture

Am thinking they probably wouldn't want a dribbly SN six year for the their programme, gorgeous, blue eyed and fair as he is, as it's not very mainstream is it! But hey, it's worth a try.. I can just imagine them fitting different gadgets to the seat belt/trying him in different cars (he would love that! ) and then timing him for each one as to how many seconds he took to escape!

Doubt they will reply.. but worth a try!

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Melaniec234 · 05/02/2007 22:32

hi, i know how you feel, my 2yr old ds got me pulled by the police last week for him escaping again! Hes copying his 4yr old asd brother. Theve both got 5 point harnesses, that i struggle to open, but not them.

Jimjams2 · 05/02/2007 23:41

Have you tried Crelling?

Also in the States they sell a thing that slots over the seat belt clip thingy that can only be opened with a credit card. I was going to get one when ds1 was leaping out of his seat every journey.

There's a guy on US ebay who does something similar but it looks easier to open than the credit card one.

here's the credit card one and the \link{: snipurl.com/um2c\ebay one}

and a home-made one

Jimjams2 · 05/02/2007 23:42

link{http://snipurl.com/um2cbay one again

Jimjams2 · 05/02/2007 23:42

aggghhhhhh

FioFio · 06/02/2007 07:15

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ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 06/02/2007 08:44

JimJams wow! Have never seen that Buckle Guard before! The ebay one is not pictured but sounds exactly like the "pill box lid" one that we have and he makes light work of.

Will show the credit card one to DH when he gets home; we will probably order that. I would order anything on the offchance that it will work! Have also saved details of the homemade one. Thanks loads.

Another problem with him is that his dexterity is improving all the time (well that shouldn't be a problem but YKWIM!) He didn't used to be able to be able to pull up the ordinary door locks up but he has done that about twice now so that's no longer a reliable preventer. His pincer grasp (that he was completely devoid of until some time last year) ui getting better and better.. sadly he mainly uses it for beastly things like escaping from cars and pinching his siblings! You never know when he is going to get his head (and hands!) around any new device. He is working on the dog gate at his bedroom doorway, heaven help us!

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ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 06/02/2007 08:45

Probably not Fio.. but I do sometimes wonder if he is the strongest ever 6 old with cp/learning difficutlies/complete lack of fear.. which is a dangerous combination to be sure!!

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Jimjams2 · 06/02/2007 09:00

ds1 sussed out the dog gate. It was a problem.......

I think iirc the ebay one is better than the ones available here (ds1 took 2 seconds to suss them out). I think this is the ebay one

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 06/02/2007 09:07

Yep.. that's the one he can undo in about 3 seconds! He prises his finger tips down the tiny gap enough to press the red button. Only good thing here is that presumably he won't be able to do that for ever as his fingers will get too big but he has no problems now. He does seem to be a bit on the double jointed side; probably something to do with his muscle tone..

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FioFio · 06/02/2007 09:11

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