Toilet problems

[babyjane]

I am having problems with toilet training my ds2. He is nearly 5 and has just about mastered the weeing (standing up) but will only poo in a nappy. I have had suggestions from the school, with things like cutting a hole in the nappy so he poos through it into the toilet. The only problem with that is he refuses to sit on the toilet and I don't fancy having the house littered with poo.

He has (here goes) moderate autism, dyspraxia, speech & language delay and moderate learning difficulties, how do I get round this - cannot figure out what to do at all.

He is happy to poo in a nappy and hates being changed, we have great fun and games chasing him round the house trying to change him. Trouble is he would be happy to stay in it all day - it really doesn't seem to bother him and seems to be almost a comfort to him.

If anyone has any suggestions I would be really grateful to hear them.

Thanks.

Someone else who does the nappy-chase around the house! No advice but lots of sympathy. We're a stage behind you. Ds1 is nearly 4 and still refuses to use a toilet at all.

Thanks coppertop, there was I thinking I was the only one Well good luck in your misson with the toilet and as my mother in law always says, "I'm sure they won't still be in nappies when they are 21"

Only the kinky ones anyway!

Phew! not the only one here either, dd is 4 and although is holding her wee still does it in her nappy. She is 4 aswell!

Ds2 has stalled at about 50% success rate of weeing in his sn potty chair, and won't acknowledge poos at all, even if they are in his pants.

Sorry, he is 3y 3m

my ds1 had this problem. what i did was sit him on the potty with nappy on and fully clothed and read a story with him while he was pooing to distract him a bit. Praised him load when he did it. Ok it was still in the nappy but he was still sat on the potty when all said and done. Then when he was a bit more confident, I just lined the potty with a nappy then got him to sit on it with bare bum....again reading a story. He had a star chart and everytime he did 5 poos in the potty, he got a reward. Eventually, one day, he just pulled the nappy out of the potty and went without it. Hope it all works out for you.

Busybee and Dinosaur both have ideas that I think work. I would say first to use potties and not go straight for the toilet, although its better if they can go direct to the toilet, if its not working then try potties. You can have several at strategic places and they are therefore not necessarily associated with the bathroom and also not in the same room as all those tempting taps! You can buy ones that play music when used! You can get car shaped ones, tortoises, different colours etc. Kiddicare has some interesting ones at the moment. Also keep absolutely favourite things either to occupy them or reward them for using the potty. Put them on a schedule where they sit on the potty at set intervals and get rewarded just for doing that and then increase the time intervals. Make a visual schedule which can be very simple, photo of potty, photo of them sitting on it and photo of special treat, really just 3. Make a toilet or potty request card, nice and big so they can learn to ask to go. Start by giving them or getting them to hold the card when they use the potty on the schedule and in time, hopefully, they might go and get their card independently. Teach the Makaton sign for toilet even if they don't use any other signs. Never get cross or draw attention to accidents. Many people like to try to show children that weeing or pooing on the floor is "naughty" or even "funny", don't draw any attention to it at all. SOme people also make the child clean up, put them in cold showers etc. Some of these things our kids would enjoy anyway so its the wrong message! The message to convey is that they are good and get rewarded if they sit on or use the potty, whatever they like, see 5 mins of favourite video, get chucked up in the air, maltesers etc but try to restrict whatever it is only for toilet/potty (not easy I know). Latly, don't expect full success too quickly. It probably took about a year from day one to not even thinking about pullups when going out with our DS. And even recently he's had to be put on a token system outlining toileting steps to make sure he "washes" his hands, dries them etc and doesn't muck around in the sink.

Hope this stream of consciousness makes some sense!