Help needed to cope with Aspergers behaviour

[Clarinet60]

...for my friend at the end of her tether. He is 5 and every day is a battle. 'Put your seat belt on.' 'NO!', that kind of thing, over and over again. She is close to the end, so I wondered if anyone has a link or can recommend a book for behavioural coping strategies.

Is she getting any input from anyone? Has anyone showed her how to use visual timetables? They can be very helpful. Things like counting down a lot can help- along with warning. So to get ds1 in from the garden I'll say "one more minute". then "30 seconds" then count down from 10 (usually he joins in then).

Really each problem behaviour will need an independent analysis- and then some sort of individual approach- that's why I think some expert opinion would be helpful, until she gets used to doing it herself.

The best thing to start with is to find out why her ds has problems with different things. Not wanting the seatbelt on could be a sensory problem if his body is very sensitive. (Not wanting to wear certain materials or clothes with labels in is often a sign). It might also be a question of routine. In this case the visual timetables Jimjams mentions could be useful.

A good start would be Luke Jackson's "Freaks, Geeks and Asperger's Syndrome". Don't be put off by the fact that it says it's a guide for adolescents It gives some good explanations of why AS children/adults have problems with different things.

My DS1 has Aspergic tendencies and i found some really good Aspergers websites from Google search. I have found that you cannot so much make the problem go away but somehow find cope mechanisms to get round the problem....

She gets zilch help Jimjams, has only just been diagnosed and had to fight for that, but those timetables sound like a good idea.
Coppertop, the sensory thing makes sense, I'll put it to her. I think I'd heard of the Jackson book, but had forgotten the title. Thanks.
I'll try a google too. Coping mechanisms are what she needs.
Ta.

Does she have access to the internet? If so would she be interested in joining Mumsnet herself? It might help her to know that she's not alone.

Yes Luke's book is excellent- I'd second that recommendation.

I'm trying to wrack my brains with what she could do if the seat belt was sensory. If its scratching against his chin maybe get some sort of positioning device to stop it, or even just use a lap belt for a while (not great I know but better than nothing).

Alternatively does he not like going to school or something? Avoiding putting the seat belt on could be his way of avoiding having to go to school. Countdowns can work well in this situation.

Droile - your friend is certainly not alone with this. My ds (6.5) is Asperger's and ADHD, and like her I had to fight for the diagnosis which was very hard work. Then after it's "see ya - have a nice life!". I really didn't know what to do, but had to do something - I joined a behaviour awareness group who are great and an autistic group which meets bi-weekly.

Jimjams, Coppertop and everyone here - who always have something great to suggest - are probably right. It could be a problem with school, but I know with my ds, he doesn't like metal. He used to recoil if I gave him my keys to hold even as a baby. Now it means that when I want him to wear jeans, or things with metal buttons, I have to use plaster tape to cover them over so they don't touch his skin (even the pocket studs).

Perhaps your friend could look around for some padding and cover it in some bright material and encase the seatbelt with it. It may just work?

The countdowns is something I discovered by myself when he was younger - he can't bear not to know what is going to happen in a few minutes and I have to count him down, especially useful when he is playing and enjoying himself somewhere else or when it's time to go to bed - it's either that or WW3 errupts.

I hope this is of some help, but just wanted to say, the Special Needs part of MN is a lifeline.

Thanks.
I'll post again when I've had some feedback from her on these suggestions.

She also has a 2 yr old, and I gather that internet time is an impossible dream that happens to other people, so I don't think she'll get on mumsnet yet, but here's hoping.