Agggghhhhhh Teacher RANT!

[Jimjams]

Picked ds1 up from school today to find a note in his book from the class teacher "Ds1 has been pinching different members of staff. Please talk to him aboutit so he understands that it hurts"

WTF?????? He is NON blooody VERBAL! If he had that level of understanding the world would be a heck of an easier place for him to live in. I am FUMING. A) becuase he has been in her class for a year- she MUST realise he won't understand tha! B) His LSA is extremely good and together (along with the autism outreach team) we have a suitable strategy in place for pinching ( a neutral no, and then turning your back so he gets no attention). Last time he was pinching this worked within a week. Why not ask the LSA for advice- she knows what she is doing. C) I don't know who he has bneen pinching or when- as his LSA hasn't mentioned it I would assume it has occured at lunchtime (or that he's pinched the teacher) D) I don't know why he's pinched - was it through frustration or becuase he thinks its funny? (he does both)

Anyway am composing reply. Just cannot believe the gap in understanding. How the heck can inclusion possibly work when that is the level of understanding in mainstream schools? What makes me realy cross is that his LSA is really good, but because of school politics the teachers won't ask her for advice (or me for that matter!).

Aaagggggghhhhhh Just feel like banging my head against a brick wall.

That's just staggering. I've never met him and even I can tell that the idea of explaining an abstract concept like that would be completely ridiculous. God, jimjams, I'm so sorry, when everything else about the school was going pretty well, but a comment like that must make you despair. How can she possibly think that would be a sensible suggestion when she's with him every day? What else does she "explain" to him? You have to reply, don't you, but I would completely understand if you just thought well stuff it I feel like pinching her myself.

Jimjams, I would suggest that you have a meeting with the head about this. The fact he is non verbal should suggest that the teacher should be working with LSA or discuss with SENCO. What is the teacher doing when ds1 does this? I think it sounds there is a bit on non verbal on her part.
The lsa is the key worker why wasn't she involved when this happened? larsxx

I can completely understand Jimjams.
A few months ago we had the following writen in dd's homeschool book dd has been picking flowers in the school playground, Mr xxx (the school gardener) is very sad! I just felt that it was so petty and really hardly worth mentioning. If you are going to have flowers in a school playground expect them to be picked. Apparently when asked why she had picked them she answered that they were for me! My dd has a lanuguage disorder and like your ds has problems with understanding. Sometimes you do feel that people do not understand your child like you do.
So sorry to hear that this has happened, especially on ds's birthday.
I really hope you manage to sort it all out!

His LSA always tells me when there are problem behaviours so I'm guessing that either this occurred in a lunch session (he's just started staying- but opther people cover lunch) or that he's pinched the teacher- and the LSA hasn't thought it particularly a problem- but the teacher has. I'm not sure.

TBH his class teacher has the least input with him- most of his work is organised by the LSA and autism outreach.

I'm going to write a reply to the teacher- basically saying I'm sorry to hear he has been pinching, that there is already a strategy in place drawn up by x,y and z, and that this has always worked well previously. that his lsa can advise on this strategy. That I would love to be able to talk to him about it, but he doesn't have the understanding, that I think he probably isn't ready for social stories, but that Mrs X or the autism outreach team would be able to advise further on that, and devise one if she thinks it is appropriate.

do you think that sounds ok?

oh also going to ask who he's been pinching and why (game or frustration?)

That sounds perfect Jimjams.

Jimjams, I think that sounds good. You need to find out if ds1 is pinching the teacher or children ? I aways find you never always get the full picture of what's go on. Also is this happening in class? If not may be a reason for the pinching- like whats happening lunch times .
The class teacher will have to learn to deal this and really should be speaking with lsa after lunch, etc.
I do feel sometimes they blow things out of proportion. Good luck Jimjams and keep us posted. larsxx

He's only pinching adults. (members of staff). I suspect he is pinching as he thinks it is funny (gets a good reponse if people get the response 'wrong". He's been pinching oneof the workers at nursery this week as a "game". he also piches out of frustration- but that's much more agressive and his LSA would have spoken to be me about that.

I know you shouldn't have to, but maybe it would be worth explaining that (about the reaction) to his teacher? I still think she should have more sense than to write a comment like that, even if she isn't spending a lot of time with him.

don't worry tamum- I'm going to! Politely of course- but I think she needs a lesson in ABA techniques!

Jimjams, I must tell you this my daughteris in yr 5, her friend was pinching not to hurt anyone but in a kind of friendly manner. She is a very strong girl and this did hurt a few of the children. This was dealt with at school- no parents were involved.
I would expect a little more understanding from the teachers in a way, ds1 is responding to them.
I can't believe they want your input on this one.
I know this has got to be addressed- but really jimjams why are they trying to worry you with a note,etc!!! larsxx

I don't mind being asked really. Just object to being told to talk to him about it when that's a complete impossibility! Last time it happened I had a 10 minute chat with the LSA and autism outrwach worker when picking him up (very informal). I explained how it was dealt with at home and nursery and we agreed the approach they should take (neutral but firm no, then turn away from him, or turn him away from you). It worked very quickly- within a week at most he had stopped.

Jimjams - from looking at what the teacher has written, it sounds like she has been pinched herself ("it hurts".
After a year you would think she'd know how to deal with this sort of occurance - your ds can't be the only one who does this sort of thing surely!

If it's any consolation, I get messages back in my ds' book which are totally exaggerated and then when I speak to the TA, she tells it like it really is - not second hand information she has been told, 2 minutes before it's time to go.

Your response to the teacher is spot on - although I think, as Lars suggested, it would be a good idea to speak to the Head about this. Good luck and let us know what happens. x

Oops - an escapee smiley - I'll leave it up to you if you think it should be there or not!

I think it's quite apt. Feel much calmer about the whole thing now. I am happy with the school, and I guess its the sort of thing I'm going to hear a lot. I was just stunned by the comment really- maybe she wrote it without thinking.....Anyway will draft polite informative reply.

Cheers for letting me rant!