I need to write a report of the things my child does. Flip's thread.

[Flip]

Here's what I've got so far. I've never done this before. Is this right?

Matt?s attitude towards adults ? if a stranger smiles at him or wants to make polite conversation about something he?s doing, Matt will curse and say horrible things to that person. An example would be during the May Day bank holiday weekend. Matt and one of his friends had both purchased light sabers and there was a very controlled pretend battle going on high up on a empty walled flower bed away from other people. I kept them in check and they were enjoying it. A street clown made a balloon sword and pretended to do battle. Matt?s friend laughed at the clown but Matt attacked him. He jumped down off the wall and ran at the clown hitting him over and over with his light saber. No verbal commands would stop him, he blocked it out. Matt had to be physically pulled away and held by his friends mum who was closest. She had to pin his arms tightly to stop him carrying on.

Matt?s disregard for danger ? there have been several incidents where Matt has run off. In the local co-op he ran out and I had to go after him and stop him running across a busy car park. In the same strange town during the Bank holiday weekend before the clown incident. He fixed on something back down the street and just took off. I only caught up with him about a hundred yards away and had to drag him to a stop. I also had to abandon my six month old baby in his pram to go after Matt. Threatening to run away from school one morning when his usual class teacher wasn?t in. He also threatened to run in the road and get hit by a car if I made him go to school. I asked if he knew what would happen if a car hit him and he said, yeah, I?ll die! That morning another teacher had to restrain him and then they locked the classroom door so he couldn?t run out. He also ran away from me after school and purposefully hid just because he didn?t want to put a picture in his bag. I alerted school when I couldn?t find him and the head master got involved. When he was found he refused to tell my why he was sorry until the head master really pushed him and then there was little or no remorse.

What do you think?

It looks good, Flip. You've given examples of the behaviour you're concerned about, said what happened just before (the trigger) and how it had to be dealt with. You're obviously a natural.

What about this?

Matt?s inability to cope with change ? when his class teacher is on a course or off sick he get?s upset and refuses to go into school. He has to be physically held to stop him running off and will often refuse to get out of the car. Since changing his swimming lesson to the big pool instead of the small pool he?s refused to get in. He can swim very well and will dive to the bottom. But he hates being in the big pool and will run off. When thrown in he just swims to the side and then gets out. He shouts insults at the instructor and the lifeguards close by. Mutters at me and makes wild jestures.

I would also add whether he needs to follow particular routines or do things in a particular way. Was it your ds who refused to go into school because he'd been driven there by someone else (ie a different person to the one who usually takes him)?

I must sound like a right stalker!

You're not a stalker coppertop, or at least I hope you're not.

Yes it was my ds who wouldn't get out of the car at school because someone else had taken him.

Also if he thinks he has to do something before we leave the house there's no way of getting him out without physically lifting him and even then the aftermath is terrible.