My son's anxiety - any suggestions on how to help?

[sis]

Okay, I think we need help on this problem with ds but am not sure what sort of help.
Ds is almost 8 years old and when he was five he was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum (high functioning) and being dyspraxic.
He has had lots of ocupational therapy and had made amazing progress, however, about 18 months ago, he changed from being okay about being in a rooom on his own to insisting that someone be with him. He became very anxious when left on his own even for a couple of seconds (eg if I told him I was just going to get something from the kitchen whilst he was playing in the lounge.
When we ask him about it, he insists that he is scared of 'baddies' getting him - we have done the looking all round the room to check that there are no baddies but to no avail.
Over a period of time, he gradually got a bit better - we could go out of the room as long he knew where we were and how long we would be gone for but had to stay on the same floor as him - so no popping upstairs whilst he played downstairs.
Unfortunately, since the start of the school year he has gone back to how it was in the early days and even wants us in the toilet with him.I now think that we need to get some assistance in helping ds overcome this problem - or rather, to help him cope with his anxiety. To be honest, I think I need to know whether this is something we can help him with or whether it is an aspect of him that we just have to accept.
Any ideas on whether I should ask for a referal to a child psychologist to try and help him or ask his OT for some help? I know it is a very small thing compared to the things that a lot children of parents on the SN are struggling with but if there is a way to help ds then I'd really like to find it.

It's strange how they all seem to have similar fears isn't it?
The toilet thing has at times caused a lot of problems for us in the mornings because DS needs to be absolutely sure he has "finished". At times of high anxiety he would refuse to get off the toilet, making us very late for school and with him being very upset. Knowing he can come home has alleviated this greatly.
Another thing which is helping-his new teacher asked him to come into school early each day to do the visual timetable which is at the front of the classroom. He loves the timetable and this way he gets to do it himself and knows exactly what the class will be doing.

my son came home today very angry and threw the telephone[thankfully an old one]against the sitting room window . i wa s in shock..he then proceeded to announce he was very angry and he didnt know why.. i am wondering[its like a mental challenge trying to work out what goes on in his head] because today was the first day of his social and communication workshop!! and he just came home and said i`m angry and again started hitting things which at one point included me..to which i snapped as we do not condone violence in any form towards another person and he knows this..plus he rarely and i mean rarely ever hits ME.. everyone else in the family but mommy is sacred..you do not touch mommy..so he must have been very angry and frustrated to lash out at me..we then started to think of other ways of geting his anger out[he already does too much shouting!] so we hit pillows and cushions , i tried getting him to tell me to which he replied"just leave me alone quiet and i will work it out on my own" how mature but no good really!! aggghh the exasperation of this condition..

oh Bambi06, your poor ds - it is so awful watching them trying to cope with the frustrations of day-to-day life. I wonder if he will tell you what had upset him now that he has calmed down? Although if he is like my son, I suspect he will resist revisiting whatever it was that made him so angry.

I spoke to our OT yesterday and she has said she will refer ds to a child psychologist so sit and wait until that comes through. I am seeing the class teacher and Senco tomorrow so will post if we work out what is causing the anxiety or if we can come up with any coping strategies for ds.

Just a quick update - spoke to school and thjunior school had ds on school action but his class teacher accepts that he should be on action plus (senco could not make the meeting as it was arranged at short notice and she was on a training course).

A bit difficult as the class teacher kept saying 'oh but lots of children do that' and 'my son did that too..' but I didn't accept that and explained the difference between an NT doing some of the things ds does and the fact that ds does all of them!

School is referring ds to the local authority's autism schools link team so, they may be able to help with the anxiety issue. The school alos have a woman who visits to talk to children who have undergone trauma to help them through/over it and ds is going to be referred to this woman to see if she can get him to talk to her about his anxiety. So they are fairly positive and doing what they can but poor ds is still as anxious as ever and today he said they had been learning about slavery in the USA - no wonder he is having trouble going to sleep tonight!

Thanks for the update, sis. At least it sounds as if school are listening.