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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

I keep asking this but what DO you do when your child kicks off in the street and you can't actually physically move them

49 replies

Jimjams2 · 14/09/2006 22:27

Happened today. DS1 wanted to shut someone's front door I wouldn't let him. He was trying to go one way, I was trying to stop him- tried to move him back home but he just kept dropping to the floor and trying to crawl underneath me or run aorund me.

Eventually got him to move in the direction I wanted by saying I would carry him, but that's not going to be an option for much longer, he's going to be as tall as me soon.

He's generally all over the place in the street anyway (likes keyholes, wants to look through them).

But what do you do? Do people use major buggies or something? I don't think he'd stay in one anyway.

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Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 11:46

OH PERFECT- LUCY Blackman's mother used to threaten her with chinese food iirc If Lucy was playing up she would growl the words at her, and Lucy would immediately try and comply. She writes about it.

There's nothing that ds1 really strongly dislikes though ...... Not that I can think of, will have a ponder..... It is the sort of thing I can imagine working.....

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Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 21:41

oh god and again today. In the middle of a river, up to his thighs (wearing all his clothes) he wanted to go under a bridge (which would have been over his waist- chest height I would guess) so I said no. He refused to move. We were half an hour from the car.

Again a compulsion (something to do with standing under the bridge and looking up). I am seriously worried about how to deal with this. I felt completely stuck today, couldn't ring dh ((he didn't even know how to get to where we were- middle of Dartmoor).

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giddy1 · 16/09/2006 21:45

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giddy1 · 16/09/2006 21:46

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Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 21:48

I'm quoting from a failry dreadful book (Daniel isn't talking- fiction so Daniel who looks as if he;s going to be very bnastily low functioning becomes high funcitoning and on the road to "recovery" ) but "other people don't have an autistic child, they have no right to an opinion"

or something like that.........

I had ds1 on his belt and was trying to drag him off the frigging road. It looked (and was) dreadful. Cried on the way home, and he kept unbluckling his seat belt and leaping into the passenger footwell- lying across the gear stick. If someone had said "awww bless" I would have thumped them!

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giddy1 · 16/09/2006 21:49

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Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 21:51

ds1's school has a hairdresser go in every 6 weeks thank goodness. They used to be dreaded.

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Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 21:54

pmsl we keep cross posting.

Oh god it was dreadful. I got him out of the river and he tried to strip off. So I said "no car first" then I told him "different day, then swimming trunks then bridge" so he walked along - kept trying it on to go back but I made him walk back. He tried to go in the river again - and strip off- so I said "no car, another day trunks". Well another day wasn't processed but car trunks was. So we got back to the car, where he expected to magic up some trunks and go back to the bridge, Cue meltdown (obviously). It was awful.

The saddest thing is he has refused to get out at that spot for the last 4 years, I was so proud of him for getting out and going for the walk (and paddling), so proud, then it went pear shaped.

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giddy1 · 16/09/2006 21:58

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Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 22:00

I am pouring wine down my neck! I need it after today!

Glad you got a good haircut. Things like that help.

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giddy1 · 16/09/2006 22:00

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Pixel · 16/09/2006 22:01

Jimjams, ds is 6. We have always used the buggy because with dd being 4 years older we have always needed to get her to school on time etc, so he is used to it. Mostly he is happy to sit in it. I must admit though, it is getting more difficult to keep him in it if he decides he wants out!He managed to get out of it twice today even with the Snugsit. I think if his walking hasn't improved significantly in another year we will be in real trouble.

As for eating out, he will sit in his buggy for a reasonable time and he will actually eat. More importantly we get to eat as well. Without the buggy we have to take turns hanging on to him to stop him running out of the door or clambering under and over the tables (I'm thinking specifically of a truly nightmarish stopoff at Pizza Hut on our way to Somerset last year - I'm still cringing!). In contrast he sat in his buggy through all the speeches/meal etc at my sister's wedding and even tried the dessert. People I didn't know came up to me afterwards to say how well-behaved my children were! Not what I was expecting at all as I had been so worried about ds's behaviour that I had declined to be a bridesmaid so that I could take him out if need be. He did start to play up because he couldn't cope with sitting at a table in a big room full of strangers but his buggy was familiar so he was relieved to go in it I think.

Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 22:05

Pixel that;s funny because that's how I envisaged using it- it must be some soort of security. Dh thinks he would just stand up and try and walk off with it hanging round his ankles.

giddy-- maybe in another 5 years - no i will do it agian, but with dp worker and no other children....... 2:1 only.

He did make me laugh tonight though. I tried to get ds3 in a thomas sleepsuit (20 months) but he was wearing his teletubbies pjs and didn't want it on. So ds1 put it on- squeezed his arms in and had the legs hanging down at the back- went to bed in it )(he strips off as soon as he;s in bed anyway).

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Pixel · 16/09/2006 22:06

Lol ds is desperate for a haircut. He won't let me comb it either so her permanently looks as though he has just got out of bed. It only got so long because every time I mentioned booking him in at the hairdresser people kept saying "ah but it suits him like that" and that was all the excuse I needed .

Pixel · 16/09/2006 22:12

When ds first started school he was very frightened so I used to send his buggy with him and he would be allowed to sit in it for circle time. After a while he gained the confidence to get out of his own accord but it definitely helped him settle in. I suppose it took the place of a 'comforter' as he has never had a dummy/favourite teddy etc.

sphil · 16/09/2006 22:24

Lol at the Thomas sleepsuit JJ - can just picture it. Not lol at the river story though.

Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 22:26

aw that's sweet pixel....

Last week a friend gave ds3 a thomas dressing gown, he quite liked it, but not as much as ds1 (who wandered around in it for hours!).

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charliecat · 16/09/2006 22:48

Feel free to completely ignore me here, but could you buy DS a door lock/door handle, with keyhole that he could go down the street peering through?>>>>prepares to be ignored...

Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 23:01

ha ha- at bibic seem to remember they had a door handle board- with loads of door handles screwed onto it. It's too big to lug around dartmoor though

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charliecat · 16/09/2006 23:04

So not such a daft idea..just unrrealistic...hmm...ok

Original poster

Jimjams2 · 16/09/2006 23:06

NO it\s a good idea and I'm tryoing to think how I could adapt it. As always with ds1 its finding a strong enough reinforcer.

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springgreens · 17/09/2006 20:18

Sorry to hijack a little, but Sphil, Greyhounds are FANTASTIC! So loyal. Brilliant on the lead (no messing around sniffing lampposts and all the rest). All the G man requires is 2 twenty min walks a day and no exercise when it's hot. If you're seriously looking into it try the greyhound retirement trust who have branches everywhere. They were great.

Ds having no interest in animals was one of the really hard things as we are a family of animal lovers and I got so much out of being with them as a kid. Garvey is so enormous that ds can't ignore him and I encourage him to stroke him. He's very careful around him and can tolerate barking now which was a nightmare before. I think he is quite amused by this strange looking beast that just loves to be near him ! ds is so non-threatening that the dog often curls up next to him when ds is watching the telly or flicking through a book ina kind of protective way. The very best thing though is having some company myself. I find it hard when I'm alone with ds all day and am being ignored. Garvey is already a very good friend and great company. I need to be needed!!!

time4me · 21/09/2006 21:18

My son is almost 18 and we have to get a wheelchair for him with a brake at the back as he tugs the one at the side.
I found the wheelchair people extremely helpful.
He has extreme behaviour and it is impossible now to go anywhere without one.He`s happier in it as he goes beserk for no reason and seems calmer in it.Also folk are more sympathetic as they are then aware he is disabled.

lori21 · 24/09/2006 11:16

Do you use photos / symbols / pictoral timetable or anything? Is there a special door he loves to open and shut? We had particular doors as a reward for doing something and I am afraid that I used to say that I would go and open / shut the particular door if he did not come with me. Lots of these things though depend on a certain level of understanding. I knew one child who had doors timetabled into his day so that he could open and shut them to his hearts content but only when we wanted rather than at some inapropriate time.

Sorry no real answers

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