Query

[Bugsy2]

I'm currently having ds (4.5yrs old) assessed by the local paediatric consultant who has recommended that he should be seen by a specialist behavioural consultant. She said she doesn't think that he has anything very badly but that some of his behaviour adds up to something not being quite right.
Naturally, I am worried about my ds but don't want to panic unduly. The consultant today suggested maybe mild Aspergers but she said she was reluctant to make any sort of diagnosis as he really need to see a specialist.
Does this sound right to those of you who have already been down this road. Should I be panicking at this stage?

Don't panic- but I would be suspicious of "mild AS" I'm suspicious of "mild" anything really- I don't think its helpful. People either have a condition or they don't.

Also confused about specialist behavioural consultant. Is this a doctor? For a "proper" AS diagnosis (that will enable you to get help if needed) it needs to come a paed.

She is a behavioural paed consultant.

oh that's ok- you're seeing the right person.. Maybe read though the AS is....thread there'll be some useful stuff on there. And it is better that they're over cautious.

Thanks Jimjams. He doesn't seem to fit into any particular category to me, just a bit odd in places. I worry about him so much (hopefully keeping it to myself as I'd hate him to think I worried about him). I just want him to fit in and more than anything be happy. I guess I'm not alone there!!!!!!!!

There was also a long thread where people gave me advice about ds. I think it was called something like Worried about ds aspergers?

As it happened ds has seemed to grow out of a lot of his problems....hope this will happen for your ds too. Hard to do, but try not to panic.

At 4 and a half it can be easy to confuse AS with immaturity (in my opinion anyway). Hard to watch and wait- will you have to wait long for the appointment?

I don't know much about AS, but maybe have a browse on the threads here, and generally on the net to see whether the picture fits.

Thanks HMB and Jimjams. Sometimes, I think I am worrying unduly and he will grow out of the odd stuff and other times I feel sure that all is not well. Anyhow, I suppose a full assesment can't hurt. Not entirely sure how long I will have to wait, but given his age I guess there is no hurry.

Bugsy2 - not sure I have any proper "advice", but sympathy. My DS1 was diagnosed as high-functioning autistic last year, when he was three and a half. However she has said recently that she thinks that it might be appropriate to revisit his diagnosis, as perhaps a diagnosis of AS would be more appropriate (she hasn't gone into detail on this, and I haven't pushed her, because I am "happy" (I know that sounds like an odd word to use) enough with the diagnosis we have at the moment.

I would reiterate what jimjams has said - please don't panic. If you want to post some more about what your concerns about his behaviour are, I will try to respond. One thing I would say is, it might be worth reading up on suggestions for parenting asperger's/hfa children - because a lot of these techniques are very useful for nt children as well, so you won't be doing him any harm.

All the best.

Thanks dinosaur. It is a collection of small things really. Here goes:
Always has to take something with him when he leaves the house
Constantly needs to know what we are doing over the next two day period
Intensely dislikes parties and group activites (struggles in the classroom with circle time or any group thing)
Withdraws into himself in "threatening" situations
Refuses to eat at the table - again seems to be connected with the group activity thing
Finds leaving the house very difficult, even if it is something he wants to do
Plays one on one with good friends quite well but finds it difficult to cope with more than one
When over-excited gets very out of control and makes strange noises
Likes to control all activities
Very interested in household objects (always has been) and always wants to play with such things, rather than toys
Extremely sensitive sense of smell - wretches if he catches the merest hint of banana
Responds very badly to any direct request to do anything and goes completely off the deep end at a "command"
Disintegrates completely when tired or hungry
However, he is very affectionate and imaginative.

I think I've forgotton quite alot of stuff and I realise that alot of the above behaviour is common in 4 yr olds but I just have a gut feeling that something is not quite right.

bugsy- given that list I think it is definitely worth having the assessment. It's not necessarily anything but the group stuff, and problems with "transition" may cause problems at school- and if there's a reason for him it will help them be more understanding.
Lots of people with AS are very imaginative, and certainly my autistic son is very affectionate, so that needn't rule out AS.

Even having the assessment may lead to extra help being given at school- even without a dx- and that's never a bad thing. The signs of AS are subtle and its definitely better to be over cautious and look at whether help needs to be in place before its needed iyswim.

Hi Bugsy
How long will you have to wait to see the nest consultant?
It's hard to tell what's going on from your list, and I quite agree that a lot of it might just be to do with immaturity, but there are things in there which my ds1, now 6 and diagnosed with Aspergers lst year, was exhibiting at the same sort of age. He was hopeless at group activities, and just didn't do things like singing and listening to stories at his preschool nursery at all. I had the gut feeling that he wasn't like the others, but the nursery staff were very dismissive, and felt it was all a social maturity/boredom thing and that he would be better when he got to school. But he hated going into a class of 30, and the school spent the first year saying why didn't the nursery warn them? If he had had support in place in that first year at school, we would all have had a much easier time. He now has full-time one to one help, and things are a lot better.
Looking back, I really wish I had been more forceful about my concerns before he went to school, so I'm sure you're right to get on and have your ds further assessed. You won't have lost anything if they say he's fine, as long as you don't let your suspicions take you over between now and the appointment!

jmb - are you the jmb that recommended the fish oils from Edinburgh/Glasgow?

If so - thank you!

Bugsy2, certainly some of the things you describe ring bells with me, particularly your DS's need to be in control of situations and activities.

As far as "imagination" goes, my DS1 has always had "imagination" in the sense that he could do things like pretend there were two fairies on the Christmas tree talking to each other. However on an NAS course I attended recently, the presenter said (and all the parents in the room agreed) that what our children tend to lack is SOCIAL imagination. E.g. my DS2, who is two, has done things like spontaneously put his teddy in the cot and put his blanket on and say night-night to teddy. DS1, aged two, would NEVER have done that. IMO this all goes to the question of empathy and being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes. However all is not lost as DS1 is rather self-consciously "learning" this at the moment - so now if DS2 is upset, DS1 insists on giving him a hug, because he has learnt that "that's what you do when people are upset"!

My DS1 is very "rule-based" and finds it easier to interact with adults, or with one other child, because it's easier to "discern the rules".

Anyway, I do think it would be a good idea to take up the referral to the paediatrician and take it from there. Good luck.

Yes, roisin, it is me - glad you found them useful. I have since discovered that they deliver free within Edinburgh, which is even better.
'nest' consultant - infertility expert perhaps?

Thank you all so much for your advice. Sometimes when we have a few relatively easy days, I think I am barking mad to be having him assessed. I know that his totally unsympathetic father thinks it is my weak parenting skills that are entirely to blame.
Very, very interested to read jmb's comments as I do have concerns about how my ds could cope with a reception class, where he had to sit down for longer periods of time and I can't begin to imagine how he would cope with eating his lunch at a table with other children.
Not sure how long I will have to wait to see the next consultant but I know we have already been referred.
Really do appreciate all your input, thank you.