Autism is.................

[mrsforgetful]

Can you help me?

In my 'quest' to get a diagnosis for DS2 i am keen to 'prove' to the school that not all ASD children .......

Have Poor Eye Contact
Are Naughty
Rock
Flap Hands
or are Withdrawn.

We all have to 'deal' with the 'stereotype' image that people have when we mention the 'A' word.

The latest argument the school have is that 'he's just not naughty enough' and 'really not a problem'....I insist that it takes him tremendous effort to 'conform' at school- only to 'meltdown' at home.

So really i'd like you to describe things which you notice about your angels- that aren't 'what people expect' to see.

This is for anyone- but if you have a diagnosis then that would be great to know too

MANY THANKS

P.s.....one of ds2's 'cutest' things is how rigid he sleeps in bed- on his tummy head tipped back abd legs bent back at the knees- he's almost in a 'semi-circle' --- a OT mentioned that ASD can cause a child to be very rigid at rest- not relaxed- so wondered if this is the same? Obviosly doesn't effect school....but he did this as a baby- also slept with eyes open slightly!!!!

Mrs F I totally understand your Munchausens worry - I was convinced for about a year my DS had AS, but never mentioned it to any health professionals because of this! We have since had a diagnosis, but I don't know how much that is going to help because of the stereoptype attatched to the 'A' word that you mention.
My DS (9)
Doesn't flap or rock, but when he starts getting distressed will start scratching or picking (scalp, nose, ankles) normally. His eye contact isn't brilliant, but appears to be getting better as he gets older.
Has always been affectionate, but only with myself, hubby and grandmas, he gets so close it is almost like he is trying to crawl into you! Has only just started saying 'I love you', he used to say it didn't make sense, and that he wrote it in cards so I MUST know! He has since built it into his bedtime ritual and he has to say it on every other stair as he goes up to bed with us repeating it. We sound like the Waltons!
Naughty - yes!!! But after the event we can usually put it down to something - as long as we know the right questions to ask! Noises seem to be a major trigger.
He doesn't ahve a 'specialised subject' but is obsessed with dogs, he likes them more than people. Recently my DH's grandfather died, he was crying which our DS has never seen before and when we explained he burst out crying and told him to stop because it was reminding him of our friends dog who died over a year ago! No mention whatsoever about his great-grandad.
Our DS like yours has obsessions which come and go - at the moment it is Lego. A few years ago it was a lot cheaper as he loved digging and spent the whole of his summer holidays digging me a 'pond', he just kept digging it out, filling it with water and then filling it in again. We're not talking ornamental pond here either - more like a mini swimming pool .
Anyway keep up the fight, you'll get there in the end

SCUBAWOMAN- the picking the nose bit....sorry to be so direct!!!....does he get nose bleeds because of it- leigh seems to cause nose bleeds from excessive picking- and it seems to be a general habbit- or possibly when he's thinking or concentrating...he also puts his fingers straight in his mouth and repeats a 'nose/mouth' exploration constantly at times.

also..... 2 yrs ago- thomas was 8 AND TOO SPENT ALL SUMMER DIGGING ME A POND!!!! It got deeper and deeper! He's into a playstation game called 'MUSIC' at the moment which is a bit like mixing /DJ-ing.

Leigh - 7 (the one i want a dx for) had a full on meltdown today - after school- took over an hour to work through it- turned out was due to P.E ending early due to the behaviour of others in his class- he found the session ending suddenly hard/the missing the next planned activity hard/the fact that he was punished for others mistakes was incomprehensible to him and then as p.e had ended early they had to sit quietly and read- in the WRONG classroom and at the WRONG time....not a literacy lesson so cannot do reading.I record this kind of reaction in a special diary i bought...but as time goes on i am sure i will not be fighting for a dx...he really is behaving in a way that is obviously HFA .But as you may have read elsewhere this was my son's last day at this school- they start a new one monday.

last week he asked me what a broken heart was and what i meant by 'flipping my lid'.

he's also obsessed with 'death'- he is worring about when he and I will die- i gather this is a common anxiety for autistic kids...tom doesn't talk about dying but i find that he gets irritable if i pop down the shops too often for his liking...they like me in the house- they may not come down from their rooms for hours- and i could be out for all they know as when i go out they would be upstairs anyway- not as if they are 'in my pockets'...however they like me at home.so i feel this is similar to leigh's worry about me dying.

Mrs F the nose picking rarely ends in bleeding, he tends to stop if it gets sore, I also find a very decorative patch of 'excavations' on my wallpaper near where he sits.
Thats a really good idea about keeping a diary - I am going to start one, as I feel we are going to start having a struggle with the school/LEA coming up.
Maryz - think yourself lucky you got your patio laid - my DS started digging mine up last year - luckily I caught him after he had only removed a couple of slabs! Maybe some of us have some budding Alan Titchmarshes in our families.
I have another story about death - sorry if I go on too much
When my nan died our DS was 6, (before there had been any mention of AS). She died of cancer, and had Parkinsons, so towards the end was unrecognisable, and looked and sounded scary to the kids. I thought (rightly I think, although I am sure other people would disagree) that when DS started asking me lots of questions I would give him the option of going to see her in the chapel of rest to allay any fears he might have. He came out of school and told his teacher he was going to see big nanny "oohh that's nice" she said (not knowing) to which he replied "yes she is dead", and promptly skipped off, leaving her looking at him in shock.

have a look at this

Just wondered if anyone's heard this before? May be clap trap but thought I'd post it.

Juniper, thanks for that - I gave my son probiotics last year in conjunction with fish oils and other things on the advice of someone in a health food shop who had given my son a Vegas test for food allergies. His breath used to smell like a dogs (he has always said he is half man half dog)! Anyway his breath cleared up but it is just starting to smell again so I will be putting him back on them.
I remember reading somewhere else that having probiotic capsules is not the same as the Actimel type youghurts, as with Actimel the digestion process destroys the organisms before they hit the right spot.

Mrs Forgetful
I know exactly what you mean. DS pulls the most hysterical face, with his lower jaw sticking out and tenses up.
He also does this face just before and during an attack on other children, which can be quite handy, all we have to do is to tell him to 'put that face away' and it seems to distract him from attacking.
I think that is one of our major concerns really, he laughs if other people are upset and even when he says sorry it does seem like an empty gesture somehow.
Now we have this diagnosis all these things seem obvious, or at least a little clearer. It's becomming more positive in that way, before the diagnosis it was just frustrating. I seem to be less angry with him now.

Ds is very physcially advanced, we're yet to find out if the diagnosis is autism but he scores very highly on all autism tests such as CHAT so far.
But whenever i mention the A word people who have seen him say "he can't be autistic because he smiles, is affectionate and is so physically able"

So what have we noticed
no receptive or expressive language
inability to process noise or too much stimulation
withdraws into a blank place - often uses a monotone hum to trance himself
No ability to do pretend play
bad eating
easily distracted
rocks

my son bites into his clothes and cushions etc,
He handflaps and walks on tiptoes,His eye contact is not very good and he wont look at you when you look at him to talk,
He understand a few simple things like dinner, bath, school etc but if i said for example go get your shoes he would understand at all.
My Gran saw him handflapping to Boogie Beebies and thought he was trying to copy the dances, bless her! But he wasnt he handflaps to most things on telly especially adverts.

Mrsforgetful - DS2 does have good eye contact and communicates with the adults at school very well, everyone says he is very polite because he always says "thankyou" and "your welcome", he doesn't flap, spins and runs instead.
He can be very loving and affectionate, especially to me, he says "mummy I love you" all the time, but it is in a rather robotic, repeatative way.
He is a real rule enforcer and can be very well behaved (sometimes)
He also used to sleep with his eyes half-open when he was a baby, I used to find that really weird.