Anyone fought the school and won?

[tiptoes]

Following on from my thread about my disagreement with the school on keeping my selectively mute DS in reception along with 3 other special needs children instead of moving him up to year one to be with the peers he has started to talk to,has anyone fought againest the schools decision and won?

Am running out of time due to end of term to resolve this and would value anyone elses experiences and whether it would damage relations with the school in the future?

hope you are logging all phone calls/meetings with contemporaneous notes, i.e. write it all down on a memo and sign and date it exactly as it happens.

might come in handy. dont trust em, ever!

mamadadawahwah-just seen your post.
I have been making notes but not details of times ,days etc,will do that from now on and try and remember any other dates of previous conversations.

I am waiting for someone from the LEA to get back to me and for the paediatrician to get back off her holiday.

I am starting to panic now as things seem to have come to a standstill and feel I have rung everyone there is to ring and still not making myself heard.
I am gathering evidence of past ovccurances that have been brought to my attention and will continue the fight,maybe the wrong word to use but it feels like it's me againest the rest of the world.

Bump

Tiptoes, where are you in the country?

Flack-I am in Norfolk so dealing with the Norfolk county Council

Does your son's (expected Yr1) teacher's surname go "Br----"?

Flack-Yes it does.
Am really intrigued now as to how you knew that.

Your not her are you?

I think DD (starting reception) is in same class as your DS. Someone told me a few weeks something about a few children in there with selective mutism.... I had never heard of it before your post. Just seemd like an unlikely coincidence.

CAT me if you want.

Flack I don't have access to CAT at the moment.Will look into it.

Will your DD be in miss L or miss B** class?
Did your DD attend pre school?

I am only aware of my ds and another little boy who has SM,was unaware there may be others.I know there is a few of the children staying in reception with my ds who have speech and language problems.This makes me feel very uneasy as the SALT and myself feel putting all these children together in a small grouping will only attract more attention to them and possibly reinforce each others behaviour and speech problems.

Bump

HI DD will be in B--- class, she was my son's teacher last year. She's very good (if that's any consolation). I wonder if she'll end up usually taking the Yr1 children, since the R kids will be able to sit with Miss L and the other TAs. Would being in a smaller group help your son? I think the classes are all very full, so very little chance you'll get to swap the boys around, though.

Ignorant question, but wouldn't being with different children make it more likely your son would have to talk to get his needs met?

Did you used to post on MN with a chatname something starting with M--....? Then I think we exchanged emails before, maybe?

Hi Flack-Thanks for replying. I did used to post awhile back ,was it concerning an unpleasant experience I was having at the time with a health visitor?
Been trying to rack my brain as to who I e- mailed at that time.
Did your nickname used to begin with Z?

As for the smaller group I don't know how many will be in reception class this year but I would imagine more than the 30 in year 1 going by last year.The thing with selective mutism is it's all about self esteem and confidence.DS has built up a good rapport with certain children and he started to talk to a couple of those in and out of school on playdates.His peers he has been with this past year are aware of DS's problem and are very accepting of this.The worst thing for ds would be to be confronted with lots of strangers who will ask questions about why he does'nt talk and this could set him back.
The paediatrician and SALT are in agreement with this and feel to take him away from the peers he has took 9 months to utter a few words to could make him regress and he has come a long way in a short space of time what cold take other children with SM years.
The myth surrounding SM is that these children are maybe being manipulative and stubborn when in fact their anxiety is so great they just can't talk.I am still learning about it myself,but the conclusion I have come to is if these children were just being stubborn then how could like my ds stay quiet all day at school everyday,surly they would slip up and say something.It must take some willpower to be silent for that length of time.

My whole problem with this was that I was'nt consulted and have bben told by the LEA that as I have a child with SN it is important for the parents,professionals and school to work together on these things .I was told about this decision 4 days before the end of term.
I fear that the SM was not a factor in making this decision and for me should have been top of the list.I am not confident that the school fully understands SM and therefore can't see how they could have made a balanced decision.
Sorry for the rant but this is all consuming for me at the moment and made worse by the fact that I have the whole of the summer holidays to dwell on this as can't get much sorted out due to school beng closed.

I registered a while ago now but only just got chance to come in and have a chat..been battleing myself with the Local Authority re my daughter....
my daughter is 6 and has DS and ADHD.
She has a statement and has full time support which has consisted of 2 part time ESA's for the past two years.
At age 4 she started in the reception class but after a few weeks, the head called me in and said that the teacher felt that the class was too "structured " for her and that she would perhaps be better going back in to the nursery class for another year....
I have to admit that I wasn't "clued" up two years ago and after thinking about it, I agreed as she is very little, and of course I presumed wrongly that they had my daughter's interests at heart........
I've since learnt that her teacher in reception was due for retirement and it got back to me that she was worried about teaching a child with DS and learning difficulties !!!!!!!! so my guess is that the move was more for the teacher's sake than my daughter's.............
( another time I'll tell you more about her time in the nursery again) but for now this info is likely to be more relevant........
I'll just add that over the past two years, I've made a point of learning the SEN code of practise and I'm already a trustee on our local DS group, but I also joined our local Parent and Carer Forum,, the SEN forum , the Parent Partnership Advisory Group( as a Parent Rep) and more recently became a Parent Governor........I did all this because, we as Parents are by passed when it comes to consultation re our children, we are never valued, we are hardly ever listened to...and we are "feared" when we become offay with the "system" and of course I did all this to make sure that my daughter's needs are met.....

I've still had to fight for everyhting for her and keep on the school's back but with the Statement, this at least gives you a tool, as a lever for extra reviews attended by all the professional's in your child's life and now before her reviews..I AM ACTUALLY CONSULTED WITH...they ask me who I'd like to be invited to the review..I lead the review and this past review, I insisted that my daughter take part, just for the last 5 minutes, as her own contribution ( I'll tell you about that again too )
lATEST PROBLEM IS SIMILAR TO YOURS;
two weeks before term broke up, our children were taken to meet their new teachers.....and after school children were talking amongst themselves and they mentioned going in to two different teacher's classes......initially this seemed ok as there's usually two classes in each year, but then we realised that only 10 children out of the reception class were going with my daughter in to her new class......the head had decide to make one year 1 class of 27 children and one year/reception class of 20 children, 10 would be my daughter and 9 of her peers from the recption class and 10 children who would have been moving up from nursery into reception......
it was all new to me, and then I had 9 angry Mum's on my back, saying that as the new P/Governor I should have known this, and it was my job to sort it out !!!!!!!
I marched straight in to the Head's office and firstly blasted her for not telling me previously what was going on, and then I blasted her also for not consulting with the Parents...thus giving the information to the little 5 year olds to tell their parent about their class move !!!!!
She hastily tried to reassure me that it was the best decision for myu daughter and that she had chosen the other 9 for their immaturity......I strongly suggested that she hold a meeting first thing the next morning with the concerned Parents to give them a full explaination !
Then the punch in my stomache came..just when I thought, well maybe my daughter's transition might not be too bad as she would have her two ESA's with her.....the head, tole me that her two ESA's had handed their resignation in !!!!!
Well what followed was a week of frantic phone calls....Parent Partnership...Seniss, who recruit the ESA's.....Local Authority Children's Disability Team....Inclusion Officers..Neighbourhood Early Years Team....you name it........I was very very strongly suggesting that it was about time that Parents were consulted re the recruitment of ESA'a etc....anyway after meetings and an emergency statement review, and God knows how many phone calls, they agreed that I could be included in the matching up of a suitable ESA for my daughter ! this is a huge step for our Authority
and I hope now they will let all parents have an input....

I'm trying to keep an open mind about the classroom situation and the Head's last word were, if it seems that my daughter is not coping in the mixed class then she can move in to the class with just the year ones in ?
Quite honestly, I'm so worn out now with all the fighting over the past few years, I'm going to see how she does find it and providing her behaviour and stress levels don't get worse, I might plod on with it!
all's I can say is keep honing everyone, sometimes the more people are aware of your case, especially those high up in Children's Services, the more it filters down...
Good Luck
Dipi ( another thing I'll explain one day ! )smile

Celia2 -Thanks for that I will take a look.There are so many websites listed for SM so it's good to have a recomendation.

dipidee-Thank you so much for taking the time to reply in such detail.
I like you was frantically phoneing around to get some help with this.
I tried the LEA,SALT,paediatrician doctor,SENCO,a parent governer (who I might add sided with the school),head of governers,childrens services,PP ETC
I got a very good response from the childrens service who said they will do an assesment of ds as soon as term starts and they are in agreement with me.Maybe ds does need a statement as you say it would carry more weight.
The SALT and doctor have already written their views to the head who is still adamant she has made the right decision.LEA have been quite helpful also,just waiting for the man I need to talk to to get back to me as he is on his hols at the moment.

In my sons case the best thing for him is structure and familiar people around him he feels comfortable with.His abilty and understanding is their so why make him stay back and do half year 1 work and half reception all over again.

I too have been studying the code of practices to try and find a loophole for my situation.
I realy admire you for getting involved in so many orgainisations but when it comes to our children then I think our instinct is to protect and fight for them .I certainly did'nt think I had the confidence to argue my point as much as I have been researching this and writing everything down and am determined to get some answers.

The other mothers of the children going up to year 1 got there letters 10 days before the end of term and when I asked for mine was told it needed to be confirmed and the other parents involved had to be seen also.We waited another 5 days for ours leaving us little time to complain.
I was only told about this in the middle of a full playground when I went to collect him in what was a 2 minute conversation with his teacher.I was stunned and went to the office asked to speak to the head and she explained in front of my son .I burst out crying i was shaking tried to hide it from my son and my small daughter and went home in shock.Not really understanding why and why was'nt i warned about this sooner.
Some of the other mothers I have talked to all agree this is wrong and have been very supportive .

They did say through the governer that they would review it like they said to your daughter but as I explained by then the damage will have already been done,selective mutism is not something to be experimented with and certainly not with my son.

Thanks again for all your advice and hope things work out for your daughter.

If I go in to "help" out with DD's class, any suggestions on how I should intereact with your son? I suspect was a child in DS's yr with SM (not diagnosed, but fits description); he has just suddenly come "out" of himself in last term of Yr1.

I imagine we'll pick each other out in the pick-up/drop-off areas. bfn.

Thanks flack-I am sure as you will say we will cross paths at the school.

You say their was a child in your ds's class who you may think had SM.Do you know if they went straight up from reception to year 1?
Where they with your ds in reception?
Just wondered if they were the same age as your ds.

I am still very unsettled about this whole thing and want to look at all the evidence as I still have a feeling deep down that this is not right.

Don't want to make a nuisance of myself as far as the school is concerned but I would be failing as a mother if I did'nt make sure this was the right thing for ds,and with the professionals telling me otherwise I just can't ignore this.

Flack-Meant to ask if it was you I was e mailing awhile back about my health visitor as it has been puzzling me.

Did your nickname usd to begin with Z?

HI Tiptoes, I did email with you about HV; you weren't happy about your DS starting school at all last year, weren't you? I thought you half-wanted to keep him back completely, have him start reception a year later?

The child in my son's year who maybe had SM is actually the oldest in his year (I think your DS is the youngest?). His mum is very shy, too, and just saw his quietness in that context. Only one child was held back in that year group (actually repeated reception), and he had SN, sometimes was violent, was the youngest in his year, was born premature, and was extremely small for age. I think he's gone completely from the school now (I don't know why).

Your boy technically will still be yr-1, though, right?

ps: let me CAT you & I'll say more. bfn

Update.

Have not got very far with the LEA and am still awaiting someone to get back to me from my phone call 2 weeks ago.

DS back to school tomorrow and am feelig really apprehensive.
Not sure what my next move should be.I will chase up the LEA tomorrow and see what the shool has to say re the situation or whether something can be done to accomadate my ds.

Am feeling really let down by the system at the moment but am determined to see this through.

Tiptoes, did you see the deatils of the consultant I posted the other day who specialises in LEA's and SN? It is on www.adrianphillips.net (not sure if Phillips is one or two 'L's'). i ahd a long chat with about Sam and got lots of info.

Peachy-No I did,nt see that.

Thanks a lot,I will take a look.