Restraint in school-how much is too much?

[amistillsexy]

DS1 has HFA/PDA. He started Y5 yesterday.

Last term, we had many meetings with school about how they can meet his needs. He has 32.5 hours a week funded support (so, full time one-to-one), but he was regularly leaving the classroom and having meltdowns, which always resulted in his being restrained. It got to the point where he'd come home and say 'A good day today, Mum, I was only restrained once!'. I emailed and spoke to the Head about my concerns that incidents were not being effectively de-escalated, and she always agreed and promised to put better systems in place.

At the very end of last term, I had a meeting with the Head and the Inclusion Officer, who assured me that everything was set up for this year, that the new 1-1 was very experienced and capable, and that restraint would only be used as a last resort.

Today, DS left the classroom needing a 'safe space'. He went under the stairs and crawled into the space under the bottom step, so he could feel squashed. He was told to get out as it 'wasn't safe', and when he didn't come out, two members of staff got hold of the top of an arm each, and walked him off to a room. He said that he walked with them because he'd 'learned that lesson before'. When I asked him to elaborate, he said it hurts when they grab his arms, and so it's better to just walk with them. He has a small but noticeable bruise on his arm, which looks like a thumb or finger imprint.

The thing is, when they grabbed his arms, he wasn't hurting anyone or anything, he was just squashed into the tightest space he could find and he said he was making little noises (he made them for me- squeaking and whimpering). At home, no matter how bad things get, we avoid any form of physical restraint unless we absolutely have to (if he is trying to hurt one of his brothers, for instance), and then only as a last resort.

I'm interested to hear from others whose children are in this situation-do other schools use 'restraint' in this way? I'm trying to work out what to say to school and whether to take this any further.

My son has just started to have these restraints, he's come home with nail marks crying saying they hurt him I dunno what I'm supposed to do😔
I've never ever had to restrain him it actually makes him worse.

Your first step would be to contact the school and ask for an explanation, @Mumofthewildones98

Maybe you should consider the out of county specialist school? I don't want to sound defeatist or negative but children like your ds don't tend to do well in mainstream secondary. Primary schools tend to keep children in mainstream longer because they can be more flexible. Most secondaries don't have the same space or support. I have two with asd. Both went to specialist asd provision. My dd started out in mainstream but moved in y3. It had got to the point where the TAs complained they couldn't cope. She has thrived in her specialist asd school. It went to tribunal but that shouldn't put you off. It also sounds like you have plenty of evidence your ds needs a different approach and a highly individualised curriculum.

This is a very old thread. Kind of funny to see where we were ten years ago. I probably feel even stronger now that restraint is bad & should only be used in dire emergency and not as a behaviour management tool. ds2's placement failed in both mainstream and in specialist out of county independent in large part because of over-use of restraint. On a more positive note he no longer displays violent behaviour and has not done so for a few years.

But for Mumofthewildones98 as ourvye said (how are your boys doing now?) the first step is to talk to school and ask why and what occurred for this to happen and most importantly what steps they can put in place to prevent a reoccurrence.