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With a trembling hand and a thumping heart ..... I DID IT!!!!!!

16 replies

mrsforgetful · 12/02/2004 23:08

Today was my son's last day at school - half term holidays now! Yipee!!!

So I spent the past 2 days typing 2 'landmark' letters. 1 was to the SENCO/Head of school outlining my concerns and disapointment with how they are supporting ds1 and ignoring/not imforming me of ds2's 'autie' moments.
The there was to the outreach unit requesting their services for ds1.

I have given each both letters- mainly so that the school knows that i have told the outreach team of the schools final line to the senco was my request that she reply in writing to me before our assessment.(i have also sent copies to the paed....who is digging her heels in to)

In the letter i reminded her of her comment that ds1 does not need statementing- yet she said he won't achieve his full potential due to his aspergers.

I will await her explanation of what she 'really' meant- i have also asked why she has 20mins a day SEN group work in his IEP- yet he has not had this since mid sept.

I was tempted to send a copy to the school govenors and LEA- but think that can wait for if i am not happy with their responses.

But......I crept in to hand this envelope in....i was SCARED to death she'd 'catch' me.....and I have to summon up the courage to be as confident face to face as i was on paper.!

OP posts:
fairydust · 12/02/2004 23:43

well done for getting down on papers - i personnally would sens a copy to the school govenors as far as there concerned at the mo - everythng is all daisy - how many other things like this happen and don't get acted.


eidsvold · 13/02/2004 08:11

good onya mrs forgetful... remember no one no matter how dedicated will care for our kids and want what we want for our kids.

Our children cannot speak for themselves and so we need to speak for them and not accept second best..... Good idea to put it in writing and then there is no mistake about what was said or a she said/I said situation.

I guess I am lucky in that I am a pushy aussie 'sheila' and so can be incredibly outspoken particularly concerning things I care deeply about.

What you did was right... remember that - as client you ( and your son) have a right to effective services and if you are not getting them - you should let them know they are not keeping to their side of the deal.

SO well done you for being so brave

coppertop · 13/02/2004 08:26

Well done, MrsF! They won't know what hit them. Now you can enjoy the half-term holiday knowing that it's all done and out of the way. (OMG I can hear my mother saying those exact words to me about homework!!)

Okay. I have to ask. Did you laminate the letters first?

Davros · 13/02/2004 09:18

Well done, excellent to put it in writing, especially if she's scary! IMHO its not her decision that he "doesn't need statementing". She may be the first port of call but she is not the end of the line so, in a way, you are really asking for a "second opinion". Relax and enjoy half term.

Davros · 13/02/2004 09:18

P.S. If you're proud of the letters you should laminate them!!! Have you got started yet?

maryz · 13/02/2004 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lisa78 · 13/02/2004 21:24

Bloody well done Mrs F!
Let us know what response you get!
You go, girl!

Eulalia · 13/02/2004 21:28

Good on you. Now they will have to take notice. Let us know the outcome and have a great half term break.

coppertop · 13/02/2004 21:41

Well said, Maryz.

Davros · 14/02/2004 10:48

maryz's advice is very good. I've definitely found that practising my points over the years has helped me communicate better with the professionals. LIke me, I'm sure many of you have also learnt to speak "special needs" and sometimes I use their own words and jargon to tackle them

mrsforgetful · 14/02/2004 15:44

The jargon bit is soooo right....
what i did was described ds2's behaviour then 'attatched' it to wher i believe it fits on the AS-- with a pharse that i got off the OT's handout that i was given this week. For example i learnt about 'VESTIBULAR Impairment' so slotted that one in twice and 'MUDULATION'....crept in a bit too...... these relate to his difficulty discriminating between 'puuting and throwing/slamming" and 'how hard' to kick balls/throw bean bags etc in PE. Also learnt alot about sensory stuff such as the inability to sit still and how at school this can be achieved but at the expense of another 'behaviour' creeping out- DS2 at home is a 'squirmer' or walks around whilst chattering- at home he says he sits still- but seems that ia when he is most likely to 'vocalise inappropriate words'- she also explained the 'suck/swallow' reflex (NO! Coppertop - I've got my SERIOUS brain in now! ) Basically for those that don't know ther is research that shows that if we are chewing and swallowing - we concentrate and keep attention better- hence could explain the sleeve chewers/nail biters/pencil suckers and in my case the paer/playstation wire chewers!!!!

So in a nutshell- whether i am right or wrong i am 'finding' medical words which are linked to ASD to describe the behavior etc....then when i am in person at the school- i can use the 'correct' terms....and let THEM tell me otherwise.

OP posts:
Davros · 14/02/2004 16:21

the suck/swallow reflex! Reminds me of when my hubby got all excited because I'd been looking at a book on the internet about oral/motor exercises!

coppertop · 14/02/2004 18:28


Of course, I don't know WHAT you mean.....

mrsforgetful · 14/02/2004 22:15

even the title of this thread is worrying me now!!

OP posts:
coppertop · 14/02/2004 22:17

Oh, MrsF. It started out as a serious thread too - and now look what's happened to it!

mrsforgetful · 14/02/2004 22:38

yeah and i've just seen i made a BIG spelling mistake too- should read MODULATION! NOT MUD>>>>!

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