It's Monday, Down the school with WET HAIR,wrote the dinner money cheque out in class &and I have sent all 3 to school thinking i hate them.....HOW MUCH WORSE CAN IT GET???

[mrsforgetful]

I've just sat here and typed an essay- realised it is all over the place- that's how i feel at the moment- so have spared you all the details....just feel low and fed up of trying so hard .
Just how early should i have to get my 3 up each day in order for me to devote 1 by 1 devote 100% attention (dressing/eating etc...let alone intervening in their many morning arguements) so that by 8.30 we can be simply getting coats and bags on etc????

Add to this the fact that as each day goes by I am more certain that DS2 and I also have AS- and I CANNOT CONCENTRATE on everyone's needs AND myself.

We are being assessed in a 90 minute appointment in FEBRUARY by the 'Child and family therapy team' and i am hoping that someone there will be able to help- as yet again on 2 days last week ds3 'simply' had a cough/cold- and i 'used' this as an excuse to keep him home so that a) i didn't have to rush and get ready myself b) i didn't have to 'persuade' him to get dreassed/eat c) I could send the older 2 alone to school d)meaning i did not have to face the 'normal' world outside and e)I did not have to go down the school at 3pm to fetch them all home....the older 2 came home alone.......BUT guilt.... a) ds2 cannot deal with this different routine- hates going to school/coming home with his brother b)feel unsure that they are safe going alone (traffic etc) c)feel i am not dealing with my own difficulties the right way - am just pushing them onto my boys

Part of me wonders if there is such thing as some kind of support worker who could arrive at 7.30 and help me get organised-yet part of me finds it hard to accept any help??? Does anything like this exist??? (i am not financially able to employ a nanny!)

Well....2 days now i've been up by 7 so the cups of tea are ready and ds1 gets his tablet at 7...the uniforms and lunches sorted- and then what i do is concentrate on myself till 7.30 (so even if i do wash my hair at 7.15...it is dry by 8.30....it may not be styled- but dry!!!) and then at 7.45 i give them their breakfast and then at 8 the older 2 get themselves dressed and for the time being i am going to dress ds3 myself- he is totally capable of doing himself- but he's also found places to hide that i cannot get him out- like under his bunkbed and in the furthest corner where i cannot reach- he's tiny (still in age 2-3 clothes) so he can tuck right up- so rather than this happening as sdoon as i mention getting dressed - i decided that as long as everything else is ready- and i am ready...then for the time being i will make things easier on myself and dress him myself.

Mrs F - don't worry about accepting help - getting 3 children, autistic or otherwise organised for the day is a lot of work. I find it hard enough with 2. I am currently looking into support and there are several routes. First there is a local organisation with volunteers who can come into yoiur home and help with simple tasks or just sitting with one child so you can attend to another. There may be something like that in your area. At the other end of the scale there is an agency who help people with disabilities but it is expensive ie £12 an hour and more at weekends but it is soemthing to think about. There is bound to be something similar - ask your HV or social worker if you have one or check the yellow pages. I am aobut to start a thread on this but may do a search first.

Sorry not been online much but thinking of you and hope you feel better soon

Have read most of these and I feel for you so much. It's only a couple of months since I wrote a similar thread and I did the same as you, I cried as I read all the responses. Not sure if it is relief or self-pity or gratitude or what! Jaybee gave me the same sound advice about having everything ready the night before BUT I ALREADY DID THAT AND IT MADE NO DIFFERENCE except the one which makes me think of her LITERALLY every weekday morning is the one about getting up 5 minutes earlier so I can have me cuppa in peace!!!!! Things are still manic - I also have 3, I have to be out at 8.10, and I scream at them every single morning until my throat hurts. It ain't going to change, and I can now hear mums for miles around doing the same thing. I think the biggest help was coming on to Mumsnet, realising that I wasn't alone, and therefore feeling more able to talk about it to the mums I know and see regularly, and they are all the same!!
Having said all of this, I realise that I am very lucky that I have 3 children in perfect health and in no way intend to belittle your situation. I'm afraid I can't begin to understand AS or the implications of it, but you seem to be doing all the right things on that front which is the most important.
Thinking of you.

Sorry, Mrs F, just read your last post in more detail and wonder if you might find it easier for the boys to dress before b'fast. I know the argument against is spilling porridge down their clothes but use bibs or whatever it takes. The reason I think this makes a huge difference is that I see it as a regression to go back to the bedrooms. Mine don't go back upstairs once they've come down. Teeth are done downstairs and then it's out the door - even if this means the kitchen sink. I have given this advice to s/o else and she said it's so much easier now.

I haven't read all this thread but have to say, that as a single woman with nobody but myself to organise I have gone to WORK with wet hair, and still got there late. I am dreading school! So what if you keep your youngest at home once in a blue moon. Don't be hard on yourself.

i regularly go to school with wet hair......

Generally a better week......have a 'bribe' that works well for the 4 and 7 yr old- tiny cadbury star biscuits- they have 3 each on the kitchen work top - 1 for putting pyjamas in bathroom (our's is downstairs so they dress/undress downstairs) 1 for getting dressed and 1 for putting their shoes on-and me being up before those 2 with just ds1 up with me is definitely better- i'm finding if i can get myself ready and ds1 gets dressed by 8 then at 8.15 i can supervise ds2 dressing whilst i get ds3 ready and we are all out the door by 8.40 (we even got to school today in time to hear the whistle!!!)- i think the biggest major step was getting ds1 up earlier to have his adhd medicine- by 8am he has calmed down enough to get ready without nagging from me

That's really good news mrsforgetful.

Oh I wanted to add something about the hair thing - I quite oftern run out of time in the morning so washing the hair has to wait a day!
On those days I wear my bandana and make it a fashion statement! So at least your clean and rushed!

Anyway glad the bribe thing is helping you in the mornings Mrsforgetful xx

mrsforgetful - sounds like you have made a massive difference in just a week - you sound so much more cheerful and in control. TW - glad to hear that you think of me every morning whilst drinking your cuppa in peace!!
I find that on those days that I am late up (like this morning - stayed up late cutting up bits of tissue paper for the pheasant - but thats another thread) everything is such a rush and I seem to be constantly shouting instructions to the kids.

......but i couldn't have done it without you all!!