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Would you agree that all speech and language difficulties/ delays stem from home???

36 replies

NotInTheMood · 20/09/2012 16:47

Because that's what my child's head master said today at a SEN meeting with a group of parents Angry. We were discussing about the increase in children with speech and Lang coming through the system. He talked about the importance of early intervention and then said but we know it ll stems from home any way. So obviously I didn't interact with my child enough and sat him in front of the tv all day- I am a bad parent

OP posts:
redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 20/09/2012 22:06

oh well, I suppose that if children fail to learn at school it must be all schools fault then.

twat

GoodPhariseeofDerby · 20/09/2012 22:16

I had a GP ped. blame the fact I have an American accent.

Seriously, my DS1 has auditory processing issues - which both his father and to a greater extend my BIL have so most likely a hereditary thing, right? We had to see her before we could see a speech therapist and see him again after so many sessions and in her comments that were sent to us is how my American accent is causing an "odd cadence in the children's speech". He wasn't even there for how he spoke, he was there for not being able to understand complex questions (didn't ask Why until he was 6, couldn't understand straight forward questions from anyone).

The real humdinger - I wasn't even there for that appointment where she wrote this down. I went to the first appointment but after that DH took him to all of them. It was a couple of years after the only time she ever met me. But still all my fault (she also was very disapproving in the notes about how my DH was there and not me, when DH is the main carer).

I despise this GP. She has so many odd issues that I refuse to let the kids see her anymore.

mymatemax · 20/09/2012 23:25

OMG - What an arse! I bet you were not the only person there who found that statement to be both insulting & total bolloocks.
Who is was there? Was it all parents of children with SN, if so what a bully was he trying to be intimidating, making the parents feel somehow inferior?
Who else was in the audience? Governors? LEA?

I would say that a person who has so much influence over the lives of ALL the children in his care should be challenged about this "opinion"

lac13ma1 · 21/09/2012 01:20

REALLY........
Yea but how people even sit and listen to this sort of foolishness is beyond me
I hate when people talk complete and utter shite and everyone clearly knows its shite but just listens anyway.
So how does my dd's speech and language delay caused by glue ear fit into it then. quite possibly the shite services the NHS offer.

samithesausage · 21/09/2012 01:26

I've got 4 kids, DS3 has a speech delay, the other 3 (including the baby) have normal speech development. Somehow, I've managed to ignore DS3, and not speak to him, plonk him infront of cbeebies from 6 til 7. Hmm

I've had people say "you should talk to him more" and me, my nan and my dad talked to him, like we chatted to the other kids. Unfortunately we probably show him a bit more attention than the other children because of his speech delay. It's just one of those things unfortunately. I don't think it all stems from the home.

Perhaps he needs to go on a SN training course.....

NotInTheMood · 21/09/2012 17:28

Tbh there were only 8 parents there plus assistant head and senco plus secretary. I am in the process of writing a letter or email I am disgusted with his statement. I was in shock at such a statement. He is due To retire at Easter and I t wait I always knew he was a knob and he has now confirmed it.

OP posts:
NoComparison · 21/09/2012 17:43

Hmm, he's clearly talking rubbish. I have a friend with an 11yo DS1 who barely talks and when he does is very difficult to understand (although my DS1 who's known him from c. 18mo doesn't have any problems understanding him Smile )

She did everything by the book when he was small, loads of reading, very little TV, lots of one to one attention etc and he still has these problems.

However, I do think the increase in the number of children starting school with delayed language skills is down to changes in many children's early experiences at home.

CrunchyFrog · 21/09/2012 18:50

I would definitely email.

I come across this attitude all the time, that DS1 does not have ASD, that it's parenting etc. Would love to ask some of these people how they think DD (older) and DS2 (younger) are both so unbelievably NTif my shit parenting is what damaged DS1!

DS1 has a language delay, the first SALT kept insisting that I needed to take his dummy away. He never had a dummy. But I got that leaflet at least 5 times.

MittensWiggum · 26/02/2019 18:39

Unfortunately, headteachers are not qualified SLTs (Speech & Language Therapists).

Although it is true that SOME language delays are due to Adult Child Interaction - it is most definitely not your 'fault' if you are advised these techniques either, often it is just you hadn't had them modelled to you previously e.g seeing other parents strategies, own parents may not have used them, or have tried everything to the point that you did too much - which is often the case!

e.g. yes a child who is not spoken to and is left alone has more likelihood of lang delay as is one plonked in front of tv 24/7.

ACI strategies can include things like reducing your talking - a lot of parents try to over compensate for child lack of speech and talk for them, e.g. "Oh look Johnny, look at the train, it's a lovely train isn't it johnny lets play with the train johnny" or they interrogate "Whats that?! whats this?" or they demand manners 'Thankyou' (well it's not called a thank you and manners are a later age concern - not early language - if they give you a car, you say Car if they are not using the words)

another thing that happens is parents care too much in the sense of they anticipate needs and don't give the child the option to ask.

"Here's your milk johnny."

Had you held up the squash bottle and the milk bottle - chances are johnny might point to what he wants (milk) then you could say "Milk" as he points - then you have to be a little bit mean "Milk?" and wait for them to try to say it, do it over and over and over - Johnny will learn that by saying milk he will get milk - if he has been going 'uuurgghghhh' and pointing and you let him have the milk, he is being taught - by a parent / caregiver - and having it reinforced that 'uuurghhghghgh' is the word for milk.

additionally older siblings will also anticipate younger siblings needs or SPEAK FOR THEM.... Johnny goes Ug ug - Mary goes "Here's your ug ug" and hands him his milk

another thing that causes speech difficulties to start with is when they start attempting to speak whilst using dummies and bottles - the worst thing for speech (kids produce a slushy sound like they've still got a bottle / dummy in when they talk) and thats because their tongue is used to being further back and again is a learned behaviour - by all means bottles and dummies in bed with no talking to soothe - if talking, get them out of their mouths or you will be in a world of trouble later on. THIS CAN ALSO HAPPEN WITH THUMB AND FINGER SUCKING - so remind them to take their fingers / thumb out of mouth if going to talk e.g. "I can't hear you with your fingers in your mouth Johnny" wait until takes out "Ah much better!!! you want milk?! great! let's get some milk!" rewarding the positive speaking behaviour, and refusing to cooperate with the bad behaviour.

kids with other issues are a different board game - so it's a delay until 5 yrs old - after that it is more likely to be a language disorder or some other kind of thing directly affecting language - SLI (now DLD) is a particular language learning disorder, auditory processing difficulty - difficulty decoding language as it goes in, attention difficulties - if you can't sit still and listen, you are not going to be hearing the language to learn it and use it, deafness / glue ear etc again if you can't hear it properly you will say it wrong, learning disability / autism etc - might not want to engage in social interaction such as playing.

and play is the best way to encourage language. some toy vegetables etc and you COMMENT "Johnny you have the apple," and when they start saying 'apple' they will hand it to you "ooh apple!" then johnny says "apple" "yes! it's an APPLE!" once they have one word level (apple, dog, mum, milk etc) then you EXPAND : Johnny hands mummy apple says apple (you're following their lead always) "yes! Red apple!!!" they then are hearing 2 words 'red apple' 'tasty apple' crunchy apple' (sound effects crunch crunch etc always good - this is the stage kids start getting nursery rhymes - if they can't sit and listen and share joint attention e.g. both looking at apple and kid showing you apple - they ARE NOT GOING TO FOLLOW RHYMES ETC...

heres a pyramid as a guide - the bottom layers must be there or the top won't come - this is what SLT does - www.chatterslt.co.uk/?p=2621

if they can't play / don't socially interact / understand cause and effect (you know your kid is tossing a spoon off his high chair, you pick it up they giggle, and repeat until crazy = cause and effect) THEN THEY WILL NOT GET WHY THEY NEED TO SIT AND LISTEN AND WATCH

if there is no attention / too short attention then they won't be able to take in language

if you can't take in language you can't understand it

if you can't understand it you can't attach meaning

if you can't attach meaning you can't use language

hence no speaking in young children if any of the above are missing - and that is the level you are working on.

you need your kid to follow your pointing / you follow theirs e.g. look a dog!!!! (point) if they don't look and they are around 1 you need to check hearing / see paediatrician for referral -

we expect one word / pointing / indicating wants and needs at 1 yrs; 2 words "Mummy come!" "Daddy up!" at 2 (some kids are more advanced than this, others might be a bit behind)

but if a 4 yr old is not saying sentences e.g. Mummy go shopping, Look at teddy, Daddy jumping! with actions, then ask gp / paediatrician to refer to SLT.

really hope this helps you all - message away with any queries.

bottom line, for some children it is a lack of interaction, but for many there are lots of other factors involved, but try not to worry there's lots to help them communicate to the best of their ability! Smile

EggysMom · 26/02/2019 21:46

Zombie thread.

leftear · 28/02/2019 18:51

Starlight, did the person who was using the wheelchair hear your DD? Did they say anything?

I hope they went about the rest of their day quietly smiling about her idea and planning their own way to create a Tardis.

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