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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

How are we expected to carry on each day...................

36 replies

anniebear · 25/02/2006 09:02

This is deja-vu

I am sitting in the same place as last Saturday close to tears again

sorry for yet another moan, no one else will listen!! lol

Ellie woke last night from 12.30-2.30 and we put her back to bed 26 times . I can't believe it

Again and again...... I could have packed my bags and left, wish I had!

It was pretty pointless as she then woke at 3.50am. Would have at least hoped she would have slept till 5 or 6 after being awake that long

How on earth are you meant to get up and try to live a normal life each day?

Told DH last night at 2am that I was going to ring SS today and they can have her

Of course I haven't!!!

Sorry, I know lots of you listened and gave advice last week. I just can't believe we had to put her back to bed 26 times in the middle of the night

Thing is, why bother? She is unable to think the next night "Oh, no point getting up they will just put me back to bed" It just doesn't work like that for Ellie

I just don't know wht to do.

DH kindly gave up his Saturday lie in so I got an extra hr in bed

OP posts:

getbakainyourjimjams · 25/02/2006 19:22

ds1 wouldn't tolerate us shutting the door (screamed to be let out), but was fine with the mesh travel barriers- maybe because he can see through them?

Davros · 25/02/2006 20:19

I thought DS was one of the children who Melatonin doesn't work for but I was wrong! We were trying to give it in the middle of the night if he woke and it didn't work. When I tried it in the evening as we were having bedtime problems, I was amazed at how effective it was! I have also given him chloral hydrate with no ill effects. We've done both for short periods until he changes his habits. At the moment he wakes up every night between 3am-4am but goes back to sleep until morning.... but then is often asleep when he should be getting up for school which is a problem, but at least its all natural at the moment. I wouldn't make any assumptions about how these things might affect her without speaking to Pead.
I do agree though that preventing escape has got to be worth a try. I found that DS accepted it and his room became his space in the same way as his cot had been iyswim. It is very hard though when she's likely to wake up Grace.... you definitley need some advice from a sleep expert/clinic.

Original poster

anniebear · 26/02/2006 10:18

She does get shut in her room and can't get out of it, but she gets out of her bad then knocks and knocks on the door!

We then go and put her back in bed

gave her 15mls of Phenergan last night as we were so tired, she slept till 3.50 then came in our bed (I know!!!) staight back to sleep till 6ish

OP posts:

buzylizy · 26/02/2006 10:44

do you find if you give phenergen she is hyper the next day? when my ds nt was about her age we wnt through the I must sleep in your room stage. It was a nightmare. if you tried to keep his room(shared) he would scream for hours- woke the neighbours. So we tried phenergen and the next day he was so hyper we never did again. Just gave in and made a bed up on the floor in our room.

Davros · 26/02/2006 11:07

It sounds like last night was an improvement though Annie, but not the long term answer. I have to say that I've always had a rule that the children NEVER come into our bed/room. I always go to them. It is awful sometimes but I still think its a better policy iyswim. As I said before, can you do something to make yourself comfortable and warm if you do have to stay there a long time? In theory (ha ha) you could then reduce the time you are there. I used to wonder how on earth my friends let things get to the point where one of them has to sleep with their son with ASD every night but sometimes there is no option.

Davros · 26/02/2006 11:08

Oh, I mean they never come into our bed/room during the night. In the morning or other times they do.

Original poster

anniebear · 26/02/2006 11:25

I have some idea's to think on, thank you

The Phenergan doesn't seem to have an effect on her the next day. I did wonder if it was making her a right nark but when we don't give it to her she is also a right nark

we get it on repeat prescription, but just give her 5mls some nights. She still wakes but maybe isn't quite so lively!

I know we should do whatever to start keeping her in own room. It's hard, she is only 4 but not with a 4 year olds understanding, . Plus I don't have the strength to keep it up every night.

If I am going to start something I have to know I can do it consistently every night, otherwise she won't know if she's coming or going!

Everything seems to be getting to me lots lately. I am so fed up that I can't put my phone down without her grabbing it, the tv is turned on off on off. Lots of things that sound so stupid, and its not her fault, she didn't ask to be ill

I just want two four year olds that do what they should be doing. I don't want a 4 and a half year old and a toddler

Anyway, will shut up before I write a page of woe is me!!! lol

Thanks again, you are all great

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maddiemostmerry · 26/02/2006 11:29

Have to say we have let our youngest two co sleep with us as it has become the only way to get sleep. It reached the point where the constant getting up and disruption to the older children became unbearable so wee went for co sleeping.

DS3 co slept from the age of 3 to 7. I am pleased to say that from the feb half term just gone he has made it into a bed of his own and even a room of his own.

ds4 (age 4)starts off in a room with the older boys but always ends up in with us.

It does take some getting used to but has worked for us.

I don't know what made ds3 suddenly sleep alone, he was in hospital at half term as he was poorly and then went into his own room on return so it may have been breaking the habit. He has also made progress with comprehension so can be spoken to a bit about it.

Do hope you find a solution that suits AB, I know I have cried in front of paed over sleep issues, it makes the everyday stuff so much harder to cope with.

Original poster

anniebear · 26/02/2006 11:35

MMM

you must be so pleased about DS3!!!

I always rememebr the HV saying to em to do whatever it takes to get our sleep. She obviously didn't say that to every family!! But our circumstances were different

I agree with her, but the thought of Ellie sleeping with us for years to come and my fat backside having 2inches of bed every night is horrible

amazing really, Ellie moves further and further up to me, squashes right up behind me and DH is spread flat on his back snoring away !!!

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maddiemostmerry · 26/02/2006 11:42

Yes, my kids always wanted to lay next to me not their dad(although can't say I blame them).

If some one had told me seven years ago that I would have my son in the bed until the age of seven I would probably have laughed or cried, I could never have imagined it.

I do find that whatever works for us as a family is best even if other people don't agree, the staff at the cdc were horrified that ds3 was in our bed at the age of 4(much too old).

Do they have sleep clinics where you live?

Original poster

anniebear · 26/02/2006 11:47

Not sure, I think Ellies Headmistress mentioned about referring us to one ages ago but never did

I just always thought they would be for anyone to go to, just have visions of them telling me to do with Ellie what you would do with any child, which doesn't work, we have tried it.

Do they ahve them especially for SN Children?

I did contact somewhere in Scotland once!!! That was for SN children, but a bit far

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