Can I ask parents of children with autism whether you noticed anything as early as 6mths? (4th child and I know things aren't right)

[lovingthecoast]

Hi. I'm very worried about DS2 (DC4) who is just short of 6mths. Quick background is that DS1 was 'quirky' (still is) and after a chance mention on here about how worried I was about his behaviour when he ate carbs/gluten, I was pointed in the direction of the ARU at Sunderland and it turns out DS1 has leaky gut. Removing gluten and switching to goats milk was literally like lifting the curtain on his brain. Thankfully all this happened around his first birthday and although he still occasionally displays traits I think we stopped something more serious in its tracks. 2 DDs followed neither of whom have ever displayed any traits or issues with gluten or milk.

So, back to DS2. Lots of things don't seem quite right so if I list, I'd be grateful if anyone can comment or remembers their DCs at the same age.

The poor sleeping others mention was a big thing with dd1, too. She didn't sleep through the night til she was 3.
Through the day she had very brief naps, which she was very easily roused from. I couldn't believe she functioned on so little sleep-I was like a zombie.

Yes, he's a poor sleeper definitely. So was ds1. I know it's too early to do anything but it doesn't stop me noticing how different he seems. I wonder if there's anything I can be doing and whether I should mention it to the GP just so they have it on record that I was concerned at 6mths? At what point do they start to take you seriously. If by 1yr there's no copying or joint attention will they refer me then?

The sleep thing could be helped by McTimoney Chiropractoring.

No but DS had regressive type of autism which did not appear in any significant way until he was over 2. But the BF thing rings true. He just didn't get it as quickly as DS1 and DS2. I even remember the midwife blaming me saying I was probably running around too much after DS1 and DS2 and not relaxing and feeding DS3 enough. But it was more than that, he just took longer to realise what to do. The same was true of walking. He crawled a bit later than the others and walked at 18 months. I wasn't worried as it was clear he was always going to walk e.g. he could do it if prompted and held up, but he just took longer to figure it out himself. I don't think he looked up at me as much when feeding either.

Yes, but I didn't really know it at the time. He was my first and although frustratingly unrewarding and odd compared to other babies there was no reason to suspect that it was anything more than personality.

Thanks, Agnes. I think the bf stuff was strange as I'd always assumed that babies are born knowing how to bf. It wasn't even as if he took easily to a bottle as he didn't seem to know what to do there either.

Im ashamed to admit that in the last couple of days I've asked myself why I didn't just count my blessings and stop at 3! How awful is that?

Starlight, can you see stuff looking back? Do you think you'd notice stuff if he had been your 3rd or 4th?

Ds was my first and looking back , there were a lot of things.
Your point passage about smiling rang bells with me. That Is EXACTLY what ds was like. I can even see it in his baby pictures when I look back at them. He is smiling for himself in them. He also pointed for himself when he got to about 1. It was a 'oh there it is' ( with an odd shaped point) rather than a ' look! What do you think about that' sort of point.
He spoke early... 6 months for the first word... Full sentences by about 13 months. > I thought this was normal at the time ... Lol I just thought he was a bit clever in typical pfb fashion😄! It was like he had read a manual about speaking and he spoke perfectly from the word go... No babble ... No baby talk.
5 years down the line I had dd (who is nt). There were lots of moments where I kept thinking ' aaah so THIS is normal.' little things really.
I remember dd being about 6 months and a friend gave her a new toy.... She looked at it and then looked to me to see my response and I remember thinking 'OMG! She realises I have thoughts inside my head too!' ds never did that.
So yes... There were lots of signs ...

Probably not unless I had some prior understanding of autism.

It is a developmental disability so it kind of becomes more apparent AS they develop iyswim.

Ds was uninterested in much other than sleeping and feeding. He reached motor milestones fairly early as a way of getting away from people and to stim. He would lie on his back and kick his legs so hard Whikst making sounds with his mouth. He ran a marathon the equivalent of a marathon every day and if you dared pick him up or stop it he'd scream.

If on your lap he put as much distance between you and him as he possibly could and most visitors told me that it was like he was trying to get away. He never cared if I left the room.

This was all interpreted as a very secure, independent and bright child which despite some niggling concerns I was happy to believe.

Omg! rubbish typing!

Ds also never cared if I left room or separated from him at nursery.... He quite ofton didn't notice when I arrived to pick him up either.

And yes had I had him after 3 or 4 kids then I think I would have known something was different about him.

My first two children have ASD.

With ds1 there were a lot of signs very early on. He too didn't seem to know how to feed (either bf or bottle), and had to be tube-fed for a few days.

The big differences I noticed in between ds1 and his so-far NT siblings are:

• very poor sleeper
• zero interest in toys or playing
• didn't care whether or not he was alone.
• used his toes to grip things more than his fingers.
• didn't seem to see people as being any different to objects/furniture

Ds2 (ASD) seemed NT for the first 9 or 10mths, probably because he was a lot more sociable and smiley than his brother. Ds2 smiled at people, whereas ds1 smiled if he'd found something that amused him IYSWIM.

Dd4 wouldn't bother with toys , just wasn't Intrested in them. She wouldn't show much response to other people . When she started crying she just wouldn't stop ...anything would set her off ...was a difficult , not particularly happy baby.

She did stare at her hands a lot .

We knew something was up straight away , as she was very ill baby and expected a bit of difficult time with her ...we just didn't think it would be asd.

She's also a twin , so the milestone comparison with ds4 was huge.

Her grandmother said a few times that she thought dd4 didn't like her as she never smiled and ignored her.

Poor sleeping with her ( still the same)
Poor feeding (ditto)

Screaming fits where nothing consoles her ( hours not minutes)
( still has them too , but no where near as frequent)

Thank you everyone! It seems like the feeding and sleeping issues are common. I guess the difficulty is that they can also be common amongst NT kids though DS2 is the first baby I've ever come across who didn't seem to know how to feed either from the breast or a bottle.

To me, the not reaching out and lack of interest in grabbing things seem to be the starkest difference between him and my other kids. I'm just sure that 6mth olds shouldn't be this passive or this quiet. It's so frustrating knowing something's not quite right but not knowing what to do about it.

My son is not on the spectrum, he has other SN. He was my first, so I could only compare with the other NCT babies and baby books (milestones).
By four months I had a feeling something was not right. By six months I told the GP who told me to wait until the 9 month check. By 10 months they referred him to a child centre, who said lets wait four months and see.

I then took him to my home country at 12 months to confirm that he indeed had a problem.

Trust your instincts and get help as soon as possible. xxx

Ds has aspergers. He was my pfb so I thought he was just a tricky baby. After having dd I can now see that he cried more than most babies, particularly in response to sensory things- gagged on puréed food, hated the cold, hated the bath for ages, needed to be rocked to sleep etc.

Mine was my 3rd and I noticed differences within a few days of birth.

He hated being held too, didnt sleep through [rarely does even now] he was just different and in some ways not very 'babylike' I know that prob doesnt make sense but I know what I mean!

I'm quite amazed that so many people on this thread noticed something early. I thought everyone would tell me not to be ridiculous as he's only 6mths. I wonder why it takes so long to get a diagnosis when clearly so many parents notice things early. I guess whilst I'd love to be wrong I just feel like I know and I want to make sure if I'm right, that he gets the help he needs as early as possible. I wish I wasn't having these horrible feelings wishing I'd stopped at 3!

very poor sleeper, extremely clingy (could not leave her with anybody else), loads of crying, all day long. extremely irritable.
I eventually stopped going to mum/baby groups by the time DD was 5-6 months old because DD would only scream and cry. she was very, very hard work.

Thanks, Chocjunkie. I'm getting the impression that many of these children are either constantly crying and screaming or the oppisite and very passive. DS2 definitely in the passive camp. He isn't babbling yet (should he be?)but he does coo. However, his cooing is the same noise over and over. He says 'oo' 'oo' repeatedly like a dove. No 'ee' or 'ah' sounds like the others made. He never does it to me either only ever for himself.

The other thing DH mentioned earlier is that he never laughs. He will if you tickle him but not at funny faces, raspberry blowing and peek a boo. No interest in peek a boo at all in fact.

Oh dear. The more I type the more I become convinced things aren't right.

Dd's issues were evident from day 1. She couldn't hold her neck and didn't know how to feed. I had loads of niggling doubts but since she was my first, I didn't follow them up when people dismissed me and said 'oh early days. They all develop at their own rate you know'.
When I had ds1 I was so amazed at the difference and surprised that other experienced people told me I shouldn't worry.
Dd didn't laugh, she smiled loads, but in a very impersonal way - at the wall etc but not to me in particular. Her neck and feeding as I said earlier, she didn't point, didn't babble, later on delayed talking, walking , talking - in fact all milestones are delayed.
I was working at the time - when I picked her up she never smiled at me or seemed happy to see me. Guilty mum - I thought it was because I was working...

I would think it very much worth mentioning to your hv and gp. In dd's case, it's an extra chromosome marker that causes her autism and delay - so it was just a simple blood test. May be something similar, in which case there is nothing to stop them doing it now. And since you are on number 4, I doubt that they will not take you seriously (not that they should dismiss a new mum...)

Dd was noted to be a floppy baby at birth. What were your ds's apgars(sp??) like? Was it all fine?

Oh yes - the look! I remember this hitting me with ds1 too. Don't remember exactly how old he was - but around 4-6 months. There was this loud noise and we both looked at each other. Def a 'what was that' or 'did you hear that' look.
That connection was never there with dd.

Thanks, Sweetgrapes. I can't remember what his Apgar score was but I remember he was a funny colour and way too cold. They had dressed him and they stripped him off again to do more skin to skin as he couldn't get warm. When this didn't work they put him in a little incubator with the heater on. It took a few hours for him to warm up.

He wasn't/isn't floppy. In fact, he's probably a bit too stiff and often goes rigid when you pick him up in the way toddlers do when you're trying to get them in the car seat. He does roll but doesn't sit. His rolling is strange and exactly fits the dodgy rolling profile talked about in the Teitelbaum study. I wonder if this is still considered relevant. As I said, he also fails the tilt test they talk about.

I guess I've got to wait and see if any joint attention occurs. I seem to remember the others copying me regularly by about 9mths. Does this sound right? I mean if I picked up two plastic cups and banged them then they'd pick up two cups and do the same. Not sure my sanity will hold out til then though. Both my girls were pointing around 10mths but DS1 only did it after we removed gluten and switched to goat's milk at around 12/13mths. I'm actually considering switching to a non-dairy formula milk now but as we're about to wean I want to see how he gets on there. Inwardly hoping there's no gagging. Sorry, I'm rambling but the waiting is very stressful.