funding a residential placement at SN school??????

[giddy1]

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The district nurse said what??????????? That is absolutely shocking!

Good luck with it all xxxxx

thanks everyone
yes it is shocking what the district nurse said. Maybe it is a sad reflection of how I sound to people when faced with having to describe what DD1 is like.
You see that is a point I made earlier....there are that so proffesionals that you have to come into contact with that you end up having a kind of mantra. My way of running through her list of needs to someone who is unfamiliar with her might assume that I am unemotional toward my daughter.

The district nurse came out to the house because she wanted to assess DD1's continance product requirements as it now fell into adult services.
She was asking me what kind of "problems she had, which led to further questions etc.
She was sitting nodding her head as I explained how challenging DD1 was and saying "she is an apsolute nightmare!" at which point she said
asked me that ridiculous question.
To be honest I just cried and whispered "more than anything!!!!!!!!"
Wouldn't it be simple if I didn't love her.

"there are that so proffesionals " = There are so many people involved

god I frequently describe ds1 as a nightmare (sorry but an almost 7 year old who wees on the floor, pours water over his dinner, tries to climb over the stair bannisters, refuses to come in, tries to look through someone's letter box, shouts and hits himself- and that's just in the 3 hours since school - is a nightmare). I also love him - like my other 2- more than anything else in the world.

How crass of the district nurse- I guess she might not have much experience of learning disabilities- I just read the message out to my mum (a district nurse) who was horrified and said "how sensaitive". I think anyone who had any experience of autism and LD's would know the score. I do hope you find something suitable for her. I'll be watching your thread with interest as I know that day will come for us too.

giddy. Your last sentence "wouldn't it be easy if I didn't love her?" is so sad and true.

giddy, I'm utterly gobsmacked by what the nurse said :( :( - your posts moved me too. It would be very easy if we didn't love them so damn much. I sometimes get the impression from some people - fortunately just a few - that they think that we as parents love our child with SN less.

We will be in your position one day I expect, so will be watching this with interest too.

god yes chonky- I think that's a remarkably common view.

From the very bottom of my heart I want to thank you all so much.
Christie, thanks for your post and yes we have been introduced to the Connexions worker when DD was 14 but have not had any contact since. I will ask if I can have a meeting with her.
Unless I am mistaken, the solicitors have led me to believe that in the first instance this is a matter of applying to the Learning and Skills Council and nothing to do with the local LEA or Social Services as DD will be in Further Education.If I had known that I would have made less of a point of putting pressure on Social services to help. I am afraid that Social Services Support lends weight to the notion that this problem is purely about providing respite for the family (so they can continue with the care at home for longer) and overshadows the personal difficulties the child is having and whether it is always in the childs best interest to be at home at all!!!!! and I am talking about an individual who is just breaking into adulthood.
My heartfelt thanks to you all again xxx

Good luck Giddy, it sounds like you're making progress and so right about whether the situation meets your DD's needs apart from anything else. I'm sure a lot of us will be watching with interest, so keep us posted!

That's a very good point giddy- about respite vs the child's best interests. Surely once a child reaches adulthood their needs should be considered independently of the family?