Does your child get punished for doing things they can't help doing?

[indiastar]

Hi,
Hope that title makes sense? Ds is 8 and has a diagnosis of dyslexia, adhd with sensory issues and traits of aspergers. (Not medicated).

School try their best to help him and be understanding, but I have just learnt from my son that he get punished every time he fiddles with the pot of pens and rulers that sits in the middle of his table. (His peg is moved down and eventually loses golden time on Friday afternoons). School have provided him with beads to fiddle with and a wobble cushion, but surely he shouldn't be punished for something he can't help doing? When they lose their golden time they have to sit still and in silence in the hall on the floor, which for a child with sensory issues and adhd is ridiculous.

I just feel extremely sorry for him, school have told me that he is not naughty, so I wonder why he always seems to be sat in the hall on a Friday afternoon with the children who have done something wrong whilst the other children are all playing outside. If he is not naughty, he must be being punished for things he can't help doing?

The mind boggles.

You're not the first poster with these problems. I do wonder what they learn about child development on the pgce.

You need to complain about this. I guess fidgeting might put other kids off their work, but can they not find some other ways for him to let off steam?

Well then surely they need to move the pot if pens and rulers off the table. Then he will just fiddle with his own pen and not be distracted by stuff in the middle of the table. I would also take great exception to what they are doing by removing golden time from him. Can't think why schools do Golden Time (but thats just my issue ). They probably should take some advice from an OT as to how to channel his sensory needs better.

Thanks for the reply, yes I will be going in tomorrow and asking for the pot to be removed. The children on his table are more than capable of getting up and getting a pen for themselves. A simple solution really.

I just get sick of all the negativity, surely they should praise/reward when he doesn't fiddle rather than punish him every time he does fiddle. I think the poor child has almost given up trying and has resigned himself to the fact that Friday afternoons means sitting in a hall. :(

x posted with you SallyBear. I agree with the golden time, most of the time he has no idea why he is there.

Repeat after me indiastar "Bollocks to them, and they can shove their golden time somewhere less sunny..."

Feeling a wee bit punchy after spending the day in hospital waiting for DS (ASD) to get a general without sticking in a cannula before the op, dealing with parents eating in front of kids who are Nil by Mouth.... And then some more hospital related rubbish.

Oh no, poor you SallyBear hope all goes well. Shame on the parents for eating in front of the Nil by Mouth children.

To be honest, today I feel like telling them to stick their whole school somewhere less sunny... :o

I have had this argument and won. He still does lose GT but only after warnings and only for bad behaviour rather than sensory issues.

Yep.

Ds1 has similar dx. Wobble cushion, dynaband on legs of chair etc.

He loses stuff constantly. He lost the form for the yearly pizza order. His teacher decided that as punishment he wouldn't be allowed pizza for the entire year. This was in September.

Way to build his confidence and not make him feel crap for an entire year whilst his friends stuff their faces.

DS2's school have tried wobble cushions, fiddle objects... all sorts of things. He still fidgets constantly. They do not count it against him and his reward time at the end of the week, as he cannot control it.

Madwoman That is terrible

Madwomen - that is awful, did you complain?

I'm going in this morning to have a word with them. Found out last night that when they sit in the hall, if they fidget or move they have to stay longer?!!!! Perfect punishment for a child with adhd!!!

Sick of hearing for the past 4 years how he can't sit still, focus, listen etc. Get over it, that is how it is and you won't change it by punishing him.

This is a lot more common than it should be.

When ds started his new school the first thing the class teacher did was confiscate his fiddle stick. It was tiny and very inconspicuous, but it was apparently 'too distracting to others' so he lost it .

Poor kids. Some schools do Golden Time in my area, but fortunately none of my kids (4dc!) have ever had to earn GT. I wonder if you could threaten to pick him up before afternoon registration every Friday when GT is on to give him his own GT at home. I bet they would change their tune when it starts to impact on their attendance figures!

I also think that the school need some teacher and TA training on how ADHD and ASD affects children and how to adapt and accommodate their needs to be more inclusive, because being forced to sit on your bottom all afternoon is not inclusive practice.

I think this is pretty dreadful for the kids without SN as well, tbh, demeaning and pointless, never mind for kids with SN! My DS's school fortunately doesn't go in for Golden Time, instead they all have sticker charts to work towards little gifts (poundland stationery sets lol), so the focus is far more positive. Sympathies. I can't think of anything worse than depriving a kid with ADHD/ASD/sensory issues of play time, when they can run off a bit of energy!

Much more positive approach. At DS2's school they all work to see who gets the 100% attendance award at the end of the week. They get to watch a movie with ice cream or popcorn in KS1. DS2 is a fidget and he is a NT kid!

I hate to say this but it doesn't improve much in secondary. At my DS first school, it was ridiculous with notes home and detentions for forgetting things, swinging on his chair etc.

His school diary became a battle ground between me and the teachers once I knew he was leaving for a resource unit. I quite enjoyed writing sarcastic comments (but with a serious message) back to the ridiculous comments that were made by the teaching staff.

Thanks for all your replies. Spoke to HT on Friday and they will move the pot!!!! (This is his second year in that classroom, so god knows how many times he has been told off about it)!!!

Also, they do let him move around when he has lost GT, so all is not lost yet. I just need to work on them about rewarding the positive behaviour instead of being so bloody negative all the time.....

My son has diagnosed dyslexia and, we believe, ADHD. He finds it hard to concentrate in class and has always found it tricky to sit still. Recently he has been very upset as his teacher asked the other children in the class to say ‘chair’ or ‘six legs’ every time he swings on his chair. This is now happening constantly. Sometimes even when he is just pulling his chair in or moving it to get up. Last year the same teacher took his chair away for a while because of the swinging. I understand that from a H&S perspective, the school do not want my son hurting himself but am I wrong in thinking that this kind of public humiliation is wrong? Any advice on how to help him would be appreciated. I have ordered a big elastic band thing to go round his chair legs.