Reins at 3 years old

[saladsandwich]

ds is 3yrs 3 months and still on reins, without them he literally just runs off... i don't know if thats age appropriate behaviour? but its becoming a nightmare, he slipped the reins in town today and i lost him for a minute in a shop, luckily a man spotted him and told me which way he went, he doesn't even look back to see where i am he just goes.

people are questioning now why i use them and im saying because hes bad for crossing roads but he is use to walking, hes walked for miles from being 18months to burn energy off and is use to the roads (although still wouldnt trust him to stop for cars) but that isnt the main problem he just runs and runs and runs without looking back, he cannot walk at the side of me even on reins he is farting about when holding my hand he is walking side ways, backwards, spinning, hanging, dropping to the floor. he finds it impossible to just walk he has the occasional 10minutes where he is great, off the reins he just shoots off and he won't stop running.

don't know what to do, ds is a parrot he copies everyone and anyone and he wants to be off reins like other kids and he starts battling me if he sees other kids without, i'm having to use the puschair more and more just to get from A to B but hes too big really and it feels like a step back.

am i expecting too much from ds? im having to pick him up quite alot now after hes ran off or refused to get up off the floor and hes getting heavy

DS2 wore reins until he was 5ish, for reasons exactly like yours. We used a little life backpack which was brilliant for teaching him to walk with me. He hated wearing it, and we managed to get him to hold the handle loop with me at first and went from there, took a good year or so though, not a quick fix.

You could also try a crelling harness if your DS is on the larger side. We only managed to get away with the backpack as DS2 has a slim frame.

DS2 just moved from reins to a wrist band/strap (in controlled circumstances), and he's 5yo (6 this summer). He is a runner.. and he is fast!! We debated getting the crelling for a bit, but at the moment he is fairly cooperative about the wrist strap. If that changes, we'll be getting a crelling harness.

People watching and making comments does bug me sometimes, but I just keep reminding myself they don't matter and his safety is most important. It's aggravating though.

ds uses a littlelife backpack, he use to be double reined at 1 point because he kept snapping them :( hes slim but tall so the back pack is right up his back. we've used it for around 12months but lately hes got worse, he was at a point where he would walk holding my hand with the back pack on but he cant walk in a straight line atm, is it unusual for chilren this age to be on reins? is reins say up to 3 years and i've been looking for a back pack that i could put the littlelife strap on but i cant find one.

i didnt realise you could get harness's that size!!! may come in handy knowing that in future thanks!! x

I really wouldn't worry about what other people are thinking about your DS being in reins at an age older than usual. You are using them to keep him safe and if people cannot see that, then that is their problem.

Look at it this way... some people get huffy about even a toddler in reins, as some do not like reins (some blather about it being dog-like and some such nonsense). So it may be the reins in general, rather than your child, that they're raising an eyebrow at.

This is the reason I'm trying to get a thicker skin.

Mine were on reins for longer than that. And then wrist straps after that. Please try not to worry about it. We do what we have to do

Safety first. Bugger what some random has to say about it. Both mine have autism and they were runners. 15 months between them too.

You do what you've got to do.

I found a haughty "actually, they both have autism" shut up the few who did wobble their gobs.

think the reins will be here to stay for the foreseeable, i know 1 parent likened them to a dog lead... but i know ds needs buggy or reins, hes even worse in shops than out doors i've tried him without reins but he just bolts and then thinks im chasing him when im trying to get him back, he takes zero notice of me... its one of the main things i want the paediatrician to take note of but he is ignorant

dd1 was in a buggy until 5 ish, and was deffo on reins at 3 if out of the buggy round shops or similar.

you do what you need to do to keep everyone safe. bugger what everyone else thinks.

My second son was in reins up until 3ish. He was a runner too. Just to echo what everyone else says, safety comes first. It's nobody else's business apart from your own.

Mine was in back pack and wrist strap until 4, (and I made the wrist strap from an adapted nice soft cat collar, and attached an actual dog lead to to it, (so it clipped on and off easily), so he actually was a on a lead, )

ignore what anyone else says... you are the mummy, it's your decision! You know best!

Knickers to anyone else

I agree with everyone else, Dd3 was on reins until 4+ then we moved on to a rucksack with a chest clip and grab handle, we did have a strap but i used to hold the grab handle if she was in a funny mood.

She still has the same kind of backpack now only bigger, for when we go to busy places because she will not hold my hand.

My heart used to be in my mouth everytime we went out, she ran off so many times.

Do what you have to do to keep him safe.

my ds was on reins and buggy til he was 5. other peoples opinions dont matter. he was a runner and could dissapear like lightening! :)

My dd1 (nt) used to ask for the reins on until she was over 3yo. She liked the feeling of independence without the risk.

Just seen this in active convos. My DS (NT) wore the backpack ones until he was over 4. So much less stressful than chasing him all the time.

One great thing about reins is that they are an easy and visible place to attach a luggage label with the parents' mobile phone numbers on. We stopped using the actual loop of the reins with my oldest when being-a-runner became tempered with the consistently-stopping-before-roads script. But that wasn't at 3, not by a long chalk.

As a parent of a child with SEN, you'll need to grow a rhino hide. The herds judge/are surprised/are supportively concerned, but they always look - they can't help it. The important thing is to be aware of what you're doing that's unconventional, to be aware of why you're doing it, and to have some breezy stock answers ready (either of the "(s)he has special needs :)" or of the "ah, it's all machine washable " variety [as a child does a forensic exploration of a muddy puddle])

thanks everyone, i werent expecting so many comments.. im going to get ds a more grown up style i think of the little life rucksack. i have tried the running after him but its pointless because he is so impulsive and fast. im abit gutted i've had to dust off his pushchair too x

Another reins user - DD is 3.2. Letting her loose is just scary!

i doubt they'll give us anything like a pushchair im having trouble getting any help even though health visitor as tried her best, they all think im a crazy mum and ds as speech issues and everything else is secondary (but thats a whole other thread)... a pushchair would be useful if his behaviour continues to deteriorate in public but i know he ain't got a prayer of getting one

just about- ds reins are a bag and the design is something he was obsessed with when i bought them....he wil happily put the bag on

Go straight to your GP and ask for a referal to wheelchair services. I was referred and go a Maclaren Major for DS2 because of how unsafe he was out and about.

We got our Mac Major through DS2's OT. It has been a lifesaver!

I use back pack for DS aged 4. We were refused by NHS for Mac Major saying they only help physically disabled children!! www.newlifecharity.co.uk/ will probably provide if you get referral from Health Visitor or GP - they did for us

I still use reins with DS2, who is nearly 6 for that reason and he's very bendy and very good at squirming out of them. He is getting better at walking with us, but doesn't like holding hands because he is hypermobile and it's uncomfortable for him (it's painful for me, too, for the exact same reason). We will be investing in a Crelling harness at some point, soon because he needs something a bit more secure and with room to fit over his winter coat, next winter.

And we consider walking well with reins to be a good achievement for him - this time last year, he still needed his Major buggy most of the time.

Oh - and if anyone whose business it was none of even tried to suggest that I was treating DS2 like a dog, I'd question their desire for a dog to be kept safer than my child.