Hi, don't really know why I'm posting this, I just need to express but I'm not sure what anyone can say as a response. My partner broke down in front of me for the first time today. It was so scary. He's now getting worried about ds, who'll be 7 months old next week. I feel sick with an underlying panic because I've been so so worried about ds all this time and the only thing that's kept me going sometimes is my partner's belief that there's nothing wrong with ds. I was therefore able (on good days anyway) to put my anxiety down to a bit of PND.
I probably shouldn't be posting this in SN, as ds doesn't (yet) have any, but I know that from a previous post of mine a few months ago a lot of you can empathise with feeling like this. We've been through the toughest time of our lives since ds was born. Some of you might remember that his heartrate decreased during labour and shortly after he was born he had a series of seizures.
I suppose I'm wondering if any of you think this list of things I've been worrying about might sound familiar? I don't have anyone to talk to about this in real life. I'm not ready to speak to the paed (who mentioned last month ds might have low muscle tone and is referring us to a physio), because everytime I see or speak to him I come away feeling so depressed:
He falls to the side if sitting (I have to support him) and doesn't automatically prop himself. He can sit on his own now for about 10 seconds if I position his hands so they're propping him, then he'll fling an arm out and topple. He seems to have a problem with balance.
When on his front he can lift his head to look at something, but doesn't push up on his arms. Occasionally he can lift up to his elbows but then will usually topple to a side.
He can roll from his back to his left side, and now almost to his right side too, but doesn't flip onto his front.
Sometimes he flings his arms out to side if startled, (but not noticeably bring them back to chest) - like the moro reflex which should've gone by now.
He moves his arms out to the side and into his chest quite a lot, especially if he's agitated or upset and will kind of grab-let go-grab-let go repetitively, ie my arm while he's having a bottle.
He doesn't make continuous ba ba ba or da da da type sounds, although he does do consonants.
Whilst he doesn't have much difficulty getting his hands or say a muslin, in his mouth, but he seems to "get stuck" if he's trying to bring an object to his mouth and stares at it willing his hand to bring the object to his mouth, but can't.
He doesn't copy any sounds I make, but will look at my mouth as if really concentrating and, for instance, try to purse his lips If I'm saying "oooo" to him
He's only between 2nd and 5th centile for weight and head circumference, 25th for height. This has been constant for months.
On the plus side he smiles a lot, laughs, is interested in toys, turns his head towards noises, and if we pull him up from lying on his back, he will keep his legs straight and can bare his body weight for a good few seconds. He enjoys his door bouncer and tries to crawl with his legs.