ds is a camel

[Eulalia]

Having a problem with getting ds to drink. This has been going on for months although some days are better than others. It is 5pm now and he's had nothing since about 11am and of course has NOT been to the toilet today.

I've tried giving different drinks in different types of containers, with straws (even spoons) different times of day etc etc but some days he just WON'T drink. Often he will become thirsty just before bedtime to make up and inevitably wets the bed (even with a nappy). Also if he isn't full enough (seems to need to have a full bladder) he refuses to go to the toilet at bedtime so I have to try to stuff in as much fluid at the right time to get him to go.

He has practically stopped drinking milk too and just wants blackcurrant juice all the time which I give him (v diluted) just for some fluid. I feel he needs the milk because his diet is so limited.

Anyone got any suggestions or tricks they have tried?

dh told me off because he had juice in a glass glass which he said should be plastic but he tends to knock these over. Often he needs the drink beside him just to remind him although this is getting increasingly difficult as ds will climb onto his seat and drink/spill it. I am finding the whole process exhausting. In fact I am finding ds exhausting! Particularly today as he's in one of his hyper moods, jumping off the chairs, throwing toys around, emptying jigsaws on the floor, vocalising silly noises and repeating phrases over and over and not leaving me alone for a second. dd is driving me mad also climing onto everything and having toddler tantrums (she is 18.5 months) and it is dark and cold - wah!!!

Sorry this wasn't supposed to turn into a moaning session. I feel bad as well as he was doing some pretend play with his Thomas train and I had to hold his truck and we said the same thing over and over and over.... and I said I don't want to do this anymore and ran out of the room - I've been couped up with them both today and not had a break ... anyway got to go as ds is climbing up and pulling all the vidoes out.

I don't have any help as far as childcare etc but do feel very lucky to have the 'mental health' team on my side! All she is meant to do is keep a 'watchful eye' on my anxiety /depression and obsessive tendancies- so i feel very fortunate to get the help that i do. She has written many letters for me on my behalf and even manages to get DH to 'open up' a bit about how he feels!
Previously before there was funding for 3 year olds at nursery my health visitor arranged 6 months of this for me. And about s years ago (before DLA) my occuptional therapist at that time even had the salvation army bring us a fantastic food hamper and toys! Going right back to when ds1 was 4 and started school and it was obvious he had problems i did a 'self referral' to Banardos to get ds1 on their 'school start' scheme and in addition they enrolled me in a very supportive 'parenting course' which really helped- and i also went weekily to ther 'Parents Drop in' which was 100% better than any 'toddlers' i'd tried- mainly because every parent there had some problem or other. Also this july i rang a local Autism Unit and asked if they new of anywhere that did holiday clubs for Aspergers children- and by chance i was offered 5 sessions at their club! It was lottery funded so it was free!! He also automatically then got another 1 session in half term for £5 (6 hours care!)

The best advice i can offer is to tell as many 'professional' people about things you are struggling with- I believe that eventually (as i have recieved the help) that you tell the 'Right Person'.Also if you look up your local county council they will list a dept dealing with 'families of disabled children' - when i rang them i was put in touch with a council social worker who did an initial telephone assement/interview- and in my case she reffered to my HV who is a good listener- but also she sent me info on other services that i could be assessed for - ie OT etc- in my case they felt i was supported by the mental health unit and have the name of my social worker- over all i feel lucky! And then in addition theres the school govener who is advising me as far as ds1's statementing and DS2 getting diagnosed - she will also assist me with 'formal' letters etc- As you've guessed i use mumsnet alot- i often search mumsnet 1st then if the 'answer' isn't there (JIMJAMS!!!!) then i search the WWW.COM world...usually i get what i need! Like i've said B4- i think deep down i'm rather autie to so this is probably why i am so persistant and get the help i have recieved- i used to feel so isolated but don't feel like that now- I hope Eulaia that you get a little of what you need soon - as then everything else will fall into place! ( i am filing in the part 2 bit of the DLA forms for me at the moment Yuck!!!!!

I've got masses of info and contact details, I just don't seem to get a chance to sit down and go through it all and make the necessary phone calls. There is a voluntary organisation nearby that I am going to contact and when I get the DLA money (if it is successful but am sure I'll be eligible for something) then I can get a childminder.

jimjams - you mentioned about ds copying, yes that is good but he copies all the bad things that dd does like banging cupboard doors which of course he can do much harder! How are your ds's now anyway - got over the bugs?

we thought that ds1 might copy ds2 as he got older, eat more etc. Instead ds2 copies ds1 so he does lots of weird autistic things (like sniff books- looks hilarious). He's also copied him with eating and makes a big fuss about food in general. Lots of people have said that his martian language may be as a result of copying ds1 as well but I don't buy that.

Both boys still ill. DS1 has been absolutely pole-axed by it. Starting day 5 of fever and lying on the sofa. It's definitely that Fujian flu thing. They have been kind enough to give it to me as well, although I am managing to keep it at a heavy cold/cough stage- just had a thumping headache for about a week now (a week tomorrow anyway). Luckily my superstar mother has been coming in each night after work to help out.

MrsF you have reminded me- I need to redo the mobility bit of dla yuck yuck yuck.

Sorry to hear about the dreaded lurgy... both mine have colds but fortunately they are both very robust and throw things off quickly...and it doesn't stop them... dd seems to be following ds's hyperactivity but worse... didn't go to bed till midnight last night

does your ds1 like the smell of those shiny magazines? I used to like them when I was younger...still do in fact but don't buy mags.

Did something really stupid today ? turned up an hour EARLY for nursery. Will explain ? my watch is broken ? I?ve not been able to move the hands back since the time change a few weeks back so have been deducting an hour from the time and sometimes forgetting but then usually realising straight away. But not today. Didn?t realise till we were on the path and I saw people coming out from the earlier session and after my embarrassment I thought ?OH NO how am I going to explain to ds? however wasn?t too bad ? the nursery teacher came out with us and we said we?d go for a little walk and then she locked up. We walked round and he did go back to the door but fortunately the doctors are nearby and he likes going there so we walked up and played with the toys till it was the ?proper? time.

WHEW!

Need to get my head sorted out... doesn?t help I just feel so disconnected at this time of the year... watch is going to the menders ASAP!

hope you get better soon jimjams and co.

OH my xyz!!!!! I sniff magazines,books etc!!!!

LOL Mrs F!

God I keep finding things that I used to do as a child mentioned here.. I must be a bit auti but it seems to have mostly gone, but sure I am on the very mild end of the spectrum... this evening dh and I were talking about language and we are both a bit analytic and obessive in this respect and hate things to be misspelt and mis-used. I was telling him about a typical 'conversation' in my head driving to nursery a few days ago (not thinking about the shopping!) when I was analysing the phrase 'finding time' and how odd it was that one uses this when one never actually loses time and why do we use this.. whereas on other occasions we can say 'making time' which is just the same thing really but has more emphasis somehow... anyway if you are not all asleep by now ... I just wonder about myself and not surprised I turn up at nursery at the wrong time thinking like this

I've just started reading 'Freaks,geeks and aspergers' and Luke talks about loving 'word play'.... i've always been the same...I sometimes see or hear a word and i start anylising it to the point it seems ridiculous! Or though my 'literal understanding' is fine - i do find that i will often pick phrases to pieces..eg "have you got the right time?" - WHY would anyone want the wrong time ? ( who is it ...name beginning with E that got to nursery at the wrong time,Eh?)And " do you fancy a nice cup of tea?"....WHO would actually ask for a horrid one??? Know what i mean! Also i'm fussy about spelling et- but i've had to learn to ignore it on mumsnet as if i punctuated and spell checked it all i'd be here all night! Also i reckon i can smell when it will snow!! And i was thinking about sensory issues in general...i used to love being tucked up tight (we had no duvets then...just sheets and blankets) and when my mum used to mash potatoes i hated the bangs- and i can remember her frequently shouting at me 'look at me when i'm talking to you'- and i also had a habit of shuting my eyes if i was being told off- THAT one really annoyed everyone.I can also remember having difficulty chewing meat...always put it down to cheap joints of beef...that is till my boys do the same- and i'm told it's a sensory thing! and last of all i am still very 'touchy feely' and smiled today wheni was following my boys when i saw ds1 do EXACTLY what i used to do which was to run fingertips along walls,fences etc and then if waked past a bush I'd pull off leaves then pull them to shreds!!! He's gone one step further though...he collects sticks!!! The good thing is though he seems to be searching for the ultimate stick as he always chucks the old one over our wall as soon as a better one is found!
Just a quick question- DS2 is always tossing small toys across the room with a flick of the wrist....does your cild do this? he almost is as shocked as me when i ask WHY? Apparently this was one of the reasons he got 'warned' last week- he was given a 'yellow card' (prior th the RED CARD) and 'tossed it'- now with card i reckon its the spinning aspect...but Hot Wheel cars are slightly different!

isnt 'freaks, geeks' etc a fab book
read it cos teach several AS kids in mainstream school.
v interesting and helpful..

Laughed at the bit about batteries- as though i think ds3 is NT (well almost!) he is a little 'b*gger' when it comes to remotes! I also bought his mums latest book 'Multicoloured Mayhem' which is excellent! She describes he children as all being 'different colours of the spectrum' which i think is a fantastic description!And WELL DONE YOU!!! for reading it as a teacher who cares about her pupils

LOL at the phrase analysing! Have you got any more?

Not at the mo ....but DS1's favourite ways of starting a conversation sre "Are you amazed that....." or "Have you noticed that...."- and you can bet that there will follow one of his' monologues' where he talks at me rather than to me and certainly doesn't need my input! His 'favourite' at the mo is all the christmas toy adverts and his theory that when kids see something on tv they will think its real and expect the toy to be as good as on t.v....Yep!!! He's woken up to the world of advertising.....no fooling him...his least favs are action man adverts where they use real men and 'ready steady cook' (mind you i hate those aswell---ds3 plans to have all the cooking stuff they make...i think not! ;o)

Yup I need the right time that's for sure! did it this morning again although I got up an hour early and was just about to get the children up (something I very rarely do) when the time was said on the radio and I realised - duh!!

I think the thing that clinched it with me and an auti childhood was the humming while eating - both me and my sister did it... I read somewhere here that humming is very auti. However bit complicated because twins can be a bit in their own world anyway but I think back to some of the games we played and htey were weird. however feel 'normal'(ish!) now and lucky that I can appreciate auti things but not really be 'submerged' in it if you know what i mean. I also enjoy doing some auti things with ds although that was more pre-diagnosis... didn't even realise then but we used to be dissolved in giggles at times.(now that is an interesting phrase...!) Mrs f would love to meet you - we'd have a hard time having a conversation analysing everything

agree about the 'pe diagnosis' bit... i find now whenever i have an autie thought or i do something a bit odd - i start wondering if it's because of what i've read- or cos i'm 'working' round the kids... deep down though i know i did loads pre diagnosis of ds1! The other week ds2 was doing puzzles on the floor and typical of him had positioned himself right in the middle in the main 'walkway'... i HAD to move him and the puzzles over to the side- and then i began arranging the puzzles so they made a 'neat' orderly collection! Yet i am the most chaotic and disorganised person.... however 'some' things i have to have 'right'!!! And like i've said before... before ds1 was diagnosed i used to 'joke' that "I'm happy in my world,its just other people that are the problem"... kind of fits the autie way of thinking! Ofcourse now he has the DX i feel that if i say things like that - then people will think i'm only saying it because of what i've learnt about Aspergers etc (i also used to have to sharpen all my pencils to the same length and ripped every blank page out of every reading book i had at home...as if it didn't belong there as it had no print)I also frequently 'talk to myself'

dh does that - he definately has aspergers. He even moves his lips, but with no sound, used to drive me mad but I don't really have time to look at him now. Also I think he does it less but will do it if he is 'rehearsing' something, particularly if it was something that annoyed him.

Talking about time reminded me of my philosophy class and we were doing logic and talking about true/false propositions - the statement "what is the time on the moon?" is of course false because there is no time on the moon. I loved all that stuff, most of the class and the lecturers were all v strange. In fact most academics are probably on the spectrum.

Anyway back to more mundane things and the original theme of this thread - have worked out how to get ds to pee - put him in the shower - it works every time. Bit of a faff though as he tends to spend ages in there but worth it as a last resort. Also pleased as I gave him a knife & fork the other day and he managed really well although he used them in the 'wrong' (right?) hands.

Confession time- i 'trained' ds3 to pee by allowing him to stand up in the bath!!! WE REALLY MUST BE FROM THE 'SAME' DIFFERENT PLANET!!!

MEANT "PEE ON DEMAND" (IE POTTY TRAIN!)