can someone please explain Autism to me please.

[fairydust]

dd is 3 1/3 yrs old and goes to a mainstream nursery she has CP and is mentally about 1 yr behind but is doing fantsticlly.

She's struck up a friendship with a little boy who has Autism - "A" seems to be totally hooked with our dd and his parents have invited dd for a playdate over the xmas holiday - of course we've said yes

with out sounding too ignorant can anyone please expalin to me what Autism is i've looked on the net and like most things it all seems gooblie gook to me and seeing as his parents made the effort to find out about dd's condition (was told thid by a good friend) it seems only right i do the same.

Playdates are a hole new experience dd has a few friends we meet regualrly but they've know her from date dot.

I hsvn't wrote this thread to offend anyone i generally want to know.

A child with autism will usually have problems with communication, social interaction and imaginative play. A lot will depend upon whereabouts on the spectrum this little boy is so it's difficult to be too specific .

A child with autism will often not 'get' the point of communication. It just doesn't come naturally in the way it does to NT children. Even now, ds1 still often forgets that other people are not psychic and that just because he knows something it doesn't mean that others know it too. Some will be able to speak pretty well. Others may be completely non-verbal. Then of course there are others somewhere inbetween.

Children with autism usually lack the natural instinct to play. They may ignore toys completely, or use them in other ways, eg spinning the wheels of toy cars or putting them in their mouth. Ds2 (nearly 3) now has some imaginative play but it tends to be repetitive, as though he is following a script. The game doesn't really 'go' anywhere and he may get angry if someone else tries to change the game.

Children with autism may also have sensory problems. Some senses may be too sensitive (hypersensitive), eg noises are too loud, lights are too bright, their skin is very sensitive. They may also have the opposite (hyposensitivity) and may feel no pain for example. A child will usually have a mixture of the two. Ds1, for example, has very sensitive hearing and vision but has a very high tolerance to pain.

It would be a good idea to ask the boy's parents if there is anything he is unable to tolerate, just in case something in your house inadvertently sets him off.

Changes to normal routine can also be a problem for children with autism. Even small unexpected changes can be devastating to some children.

Each child is completely different IME. Ds1 and ds2 have some similarities but in other ways they are complete opposites.

Apologies for the rambling post.

Thanks Coppertop - I read this with interest.

Phew, well done CT, not rambling at all. Didn't dare attempt it myself, too complicated!

I'm sorry to butt in, but I wonder if you could offer a bit of advice? I know a child who is very similar to that description, has no verbal skills, seems very lacking in social skills. Is reluctant to make eye contact, and seems happier playing alone very repetitively.

The BIG question is whether to say anything to a parent, DH says we should, but I really don't want to get into a fight (I think the mother would take it as a personal slight!)

How can we 'suggest' the child gets 'Looked at' horrible expression!

oh how odd... i was just htinking about asking this question.
out of sheer nosiness though.

They are relatives, and I agree totally about getting the best help as soon as possible. It's such a dilemma, the mother went off the deep end when the child was born to dh about my lack of support for her, completely ignoring my own situation:3yo 6mo and PND. I don't want to get into a family fuede, but I want to get her to see someone.

I would leave it Hadalifeonce. They may be doing something. When I was concerned about ds1 I talked to certain people, but not others. If she asks you then you can say "yes I agree get it checked", bit otherwise I doubt you'll get far. You also have to realise that often there isn't easily accessable services and the only way someone will access them is if they are prepared to go 9 rounds- to do that they have to come to some sort of acceptance themselves.

Thankyou, I said to dh if she asks we should say something, but didn't want to be in the firing line of an unrequested, non-medical opinion.

Thanks again

Even if asked I don' think you have to (or should) say anything other than "I think you should seek an assessment". Anything else isn't fair really.

COPPERfeelunderSantasTOP - thanks so much for that i really apreciate it - have printed it off for dh to read as well - once again many thanks

i am really interested in this... like fairydust i have previously looked it up on the net but not really found many answers.

I watched parts of the bbc2 thing on the other night which made me think about it again.
I always assumed that autistic children displayed their "symptoms" constantly, and yet the children in the bbc2 thingy were (or appeared) to be "normal" a lot of the time.. ie, having conversations and talking to people, even if things they said were inappropriate.

i suppose it depends on how severe a form of autism a child has, but for some reason i had just assumed that autistic children were totally

The degree to which they are affected. I think that children with aspergers tend to have better language skills?

Starlover, My Ds2 (4) has special needs with motor problems, speech and language problems and social communication difficulties. He has no diagnosis although it has been discussed whether he is on the autistic spectrum many times and many different professionals seem to have differing opinions. I just say this to show that (while there are children who are very clearly autistic) it can be a very difficult area and there are a number of children with borderline symptons or overlapping diagnoses. And for any one sympton that might seem to define a child as autistic you can find somebody's NT child who does it and vice versa. I commented this to Dh the other day watching our very NT Ds1 putting his hands over his ears because of the water vacuum cleaner thingy in the changing rooms at the swimming pool.

yeah, it must be a difficult thing to diagnose, especially as you say, with borderline symptoms.

I think the difference the Paeds tend to use is if language developed on time or even early then a child will get a diagnosis of Aspergers. If it's late developing they may prefer to call it high-functioning autism (HFA). It gets more complicated though as many Paeds will use HFA and AS interchangeably.

It's also not always clear-cut. Ds1 started using language at about 3yrs old so was diagnosed with HFA. Ds2 had a lot of early intervention and so was able to say single words by the age of 2. The Paed described him as having AS. In fact it's highly likely that if ds2 hadn't got the early intervention he would have learned to speak at around the same time as his brother (who started speech therapy at 3). It's all very confusing!

If you were to meet ds1 now (at 5.5yrs old) you would probably find it difficult to tell that he has SN. His language level was assessed at being slightly ahead of his age group. If you know what you are looking for then the subtle signs are there. He will chatter away but can't always do turn-taking and have a proper conversation. His voice can sometimes sound almost robotic at times. He speaks well but it often seems as though English is his second language rather than his first.

gosh it sounds like a bit of a minefield!
does high functioning autism mean that they are capable of doing more "normal" things? or is it the opposite?

ok, that makes sense!
i work in clarks and there is someone who comes in with her little boy sometimes and he is autistic.
he HATES having his feet measured or touched, i'm never sure if there is anything i can do to make it nicer for him or whether he will just hate it regardless!

well everybodys experience of autism is different, i have 3 with autism and they are all very different and as such all need a different approach, it does make life interesting routines and obsessions are the two big ones in this house, and of course we have three different routines and three different obsessions, i have one who thinks all doors should be open and one who thinks all doors should be shut i can see us taking the doors off before they reach door slamming age, kids with autism usually find it impossible to see/understand anyone elses needs, are not able to put themselves in anyone elses shoes, of course if you asked them to put themselves in someone elses shoes you would probably find that they have someone elses footwear on in seconds , language is very important, a boy i know who has asd was told by his mum he had to put a clean pair of pants on every day, he did this, when his mum couldn't find any more pants for him she asked him where all his 10 pairs of pants were, he told her,he was wearing them, cos she hadn't told him he had to take the dirty ones off each day

trying shoes on is a nightmare for one of mine who has been known to kick the lady who was trying to measure her feet DD then sat on her feet i guess its too much having someone who you have only just meet so close to you touching you,looking at you and possibly even talking to you, i just have a quiet word and ask for somewhere quiet to try shoes on.

onlyjoking, you must have the patience of a saint!

you're right about the shoes... a lot of kids who don't have SN hate having their feet measured!

btw, what does NT stand for? i know it means without special needs, but can't figure out exactly what it is!

NT=neurotypical

It was a while before I worked that one out when I first came on this board though it took even longer for me to work out SALT (speech and language therapist). They are all too familiar terms now .

ahhhh! i would have had no chance of working that one out! lol

ok, and dx? seems to be diagnosis... but why the x?