So how do we all feel about xmas in this part of the board????

[ImdreadinganAUTIExmas]

My feelings are mnixed. DS2 is getting excited and ds3 will like the paper, but ds1....... He doesn't understand about xmas, but likes presents and flashing lights. I used to feel sad that it wasn't how I thought it would be, but now I don't think I even feel that- I almost feel nothing.

I find the whole thing extra hassle- still have to post everything for example and ds1 is now off school so I can't get to the PO, and of course can't get to the supermarket except at night/weekend.

I haven't dared put up the xmas tree yet as ds1 will stim over it and get routiney over the lights, and ds3 will be trying to pull himself up. Haven't put up any xmas cards as ds1 will just pull them all down. If we didn't have ds2 I may just have tried to forget it.

Oh and on xmas day I'll be 35- half way to 70! Deep joy.

Interested how everyone finds it on SN. Bah humbug.

recieved your email...but thought i'd reply on here cos our email is playing silly u no wots!!!!

hope you are all wellxxxx

Mercy, stimming is shorthand for "self-stimulatory behaviour" (no, not what I thought it was at first !!). It means repeatedly using an object, or hands etc, to cause sensory stimulation (I think, someone please jump in with a better explanation). So, for instance, a child with ASD might find a toy particularly stimmy if they can turn it on and off over and over or wave it in front of their eyes or jump up and down on it etc. Other kids do this but not to the same extent or for as long.
Xmas here is going OK. DS doesn't finish school until Tuesday and is then on a play scheme for 2.5 days . He's got another 1.5 days after xmas and I might have some help from one of my lovely girls (most of our help/babysitters are away). Like many of you, the issue isn't that DS can't take Xmas and the changes, different things etc but he's fairly oblivious to the whole thing. This is the first year that either of our children will have any clue about Xmas as DD is now over 2.5 and is experiencing it for the first time iyswim. I stopped being upset about DS having no idea about it or about presents some years ago. I've bought him a lovely "proper" rocking chair, how stimmy can you get! At least it can be put elsewhere in the house if it gets too much and he's just getting too big even for a rebounder trampoine indoors.

could I ask a question re stimming or would it be better to ask on a seperate thread.

ask on another thread as you'll get more replies- it'll get lost here.

Xmas tree has gone up. Decorated by ds2 so everything is clumped low down. DS1 appears to like it, keeps dragging me up to it to say "ee ee eee" (xmas tree obviously!)

Have decided not to put up cards, they'll only get pulled down in 2 seconds.

i put our tree up the othe rnight and was a little disappointed to get such a subdued reaction from dd1 - she saw it, pointed, smiled and then went about her business. AM sure it would be different when there are lots of parcels underneath.....

PMSL about the tree decs being clumped low down! I suppose we've kind of desensitised DS over the years by having lots of ornaments and knick knacks out. Plenty have been broken in the process but he doesn't pay much attention to these things now so most of the Xmas stuff is safe. He and DD have halved a lenght of tinsel and have each been playing with it. She put hers on her head and round the handle of one of her toys, he flicked his over and over and over and over

Christmas is a bloomin nightnmare...change of routine hasnt boded well with Ds2 at all. Loads of meltdowns this week and he is soo defiant atm. I just hope that after the holidays are over we can get back on track...dont think his teacher has taken kindly to being called the names he has picked up from an older child this weekPLUS we have developed a very unsavoury obsesion over the older child who has somehow managed to get our home number. Now I know J hasnt given it him because he wouldnt have a clue what it is...but getting a call at 12.47 this morning did not go down well in this house!!! Words have been written in the home school diary and I hope school can sort it out. Not wise IMO for a child of 9 and a lad of 16 being left unsupervised in the loos at lunchtime!!!!

Ive bought my roll of cellophane and have started wrapping J's presies...he wont open them if they are in normal gift wrap because he doesnt know whats inside...doesnt like surprises!!!

Im dreading Christmas day and wish it was just going to be like any other weekend. Cant do it though for DS1's sake. He is having a rough old time with J this past couple of weeks and last night told DH he would like a new brother for christmas...one that works

J has put his order in for Christmas dinner...raw carrots...which is all he will eat atm for breakfast, lunch and tea!!!! He looks so pale and washed out. Just wish he was back to sleeping. The last 7 nights he has been awful, which means I am knacked and then feel stroppy and like I cant cope...but hey ho I will and Im sure the day will pass with its ups and downs which will soon be put right after a few glasses of the red stuff have slipped down on Christmas day night.

on the 1st day of christmas...

i put up my tree...

by the 3rd day of christmas......

i'd put it all away!

JM - at the early morning phone call!

MrsF - Has it really all been put away again? Poor you.

Ds1 is starting to get stressed out by all the changes happening at school. There have been quite a few tearful episodes and shouting over the past few days. His teacher has been great with him and ds1 was very proud to announce that he now has his own special cushion to sit on during carpet time "because the girls kept sitting too close to me and I shouted at them". The school holidays start on Thursday but I'm not sure atm whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Ds2 went to his toddler group's Christmas party today. He got quite distressed about the change to the usual group routine and I even caught him pushing the other children - not like him at all.

CT Your school does not break up until Thursday. My ds1 thinks he is hard done by breaking up tomorrow.
The run up to xmas is hard and perhaps you could take ds1 out of school early if it is too much. I was going to keep ds3 off an Fri, as i knew he had had enough but sent him in against my better judgment. I got the phone call to say he was hysterical Fri lunchtime and could not be calmed and could I come in and and take him home. Exactly the same thing happened last year.

However,he has improved as the Deputy Head reminded me that she has sat through many xmas pantomimes in the corridor with ds, but this year he went in and stayed in.

sorry to butt in here, but I'm really wondering what to do about xmas. I'm pretty certain that if I put the deccies up that ds if going to go off on one. He has had a pretty good week, apart from the party at M&T group (he hid in the loos and refused to come out) and I'm worried about setting him off again. I'm not sure how he will react to the pressies neither. Really, I'd be better off with no wrapping paper for his presents and no deccies, but that isn't really fair on dd, or the dts who are only 9 mnths but would love the tree and everything.
Do I put it up anyway and leave him to it, or make allowances for him?

Would it help if you warned him in advance about when the tree/decorations were going up? I gave ds1 about a week's notice, reminding him each day that we would be putting the tree up at the weekend. I suspect it could work just as well with a shorter notice period, eg "We're going to put them up tomorrow afternoon after school" or whichever time suits you best. I also found it helped to let ds1 put the decorations on the tree so that he would have more control over it and feel safer. The rest of the decoartions have been put up a few at a time so that it's not a big sudden change for him. I don't know if that would be easier for your ds too?

MMM - Yep, the last day of school is Wednesday so the holidays officially start on Thursday. The trouble is that ds1 loves school so much that he actually seems to find it harder staying at home than going in - even at the end of term. He even hates having to stay at home when he's ill. Tomorrow should be a fairly straightforward day as no extra events are planned. On Wednesday they are off on a school trip, which ds1 is looking forward to. It's a case of damned if you send him in and damned if you don't.

advance notice might help a lot, thanks for that idea. I really doubt I'll be able to get him to go anywhere near it, but if he can just accept it being there, that would be good. He doesn't have any idea of time, or xmas trees, but pictures might help.

Well dh decided to put some fake snow stencils on the window (naff I know, but we found some in the cellar- previous owners). DS1 smudged it then insisted the stencil go up on the window as well, so we now have 2 smudgy snow pictures and a stencil on the window and fake snow on the (manky) curtains.

lol at the fake snow 'cos I tried it too & ds promptly smeared my lovely xmas trees so now I have even dirtier looking windows than before having not gotten round to cleaning snow smear off!

Poor ds2 just doesn't 'get' Christmas at all. This morning he asked "Can I go playgroup?" Dh explained that there was no more playgroup until after Christmas. Ds2 thought about it and then asked "Can I go Christmas then playgroup?" Ooops!

PMSL CT

Well ds1's xmas present has arrived (thank god was beginning to think it wasn;t going to get here). Lots of sensory stuff from SpaceKraft with "special needs" written all over the box (seriously!)

that spacekraft is something i had never heard of...just quickly browsed ...and saw something called "Sit on Wedge"
looks brilliant to help leigh sit easier (stiller???) at table....but its £24...has anyone used one???

I thought you could get those from OT?

Yep OT should provide one I would have thought. Remember all the prices have VAT on top- although some may be VAT exempt.

thanks...will ask....basically am i right to assume that it would help him...his probs are that of spacial awareness and having to keep pivoting off seat to 'feel/ground' him... i looked art that pad and immediately thought that it was bumpy- so good for sensory/feel... as he could touch the bumps with his fingers...and secodly...he would be sloped back- so his weight would push him to back of chair- so he'd feel secure...or am i missing it's real use??? !!!!

Mid you i am very creative...so often use things for the totally wrong purpose.... born inventor me!!!!

Just need investment in my ideas....and watch out bill gates!!!!

I think it's always best to try these things first if you can. Our OT lent ds1 a wieghted blanket- glad she did because it "should" have helped him, but he couldn't tolerate it at all, so it would have been a complete waste if I'd bought it.