Autism Diagnosis

[Lillypond]

Hello ladies

Some of you might remember me. I used to post under the username jenkins88, but changed it a few weeks ago because I felt that all my posts were so depressing and neurotic, and I was starting to think that DS would be okay after all.

I've had such a horrible day today. Took DS to Dev. Paed. for his second assessment and she diagnosed him as autistic. She said that he was at the milder end of the spectrum but would need lots of help during his school years. She's also going to test for Fragile X syndrome although she doesn't think it's likely.

I feel completely shocked, gutted, hopeless. After she gave her diagnosis she talked alot but I couldn't follow what she was saying. My throat was aching because I just wanted to break down and sob, but I was shaking and I felt like I was going to faint. DS just sat and looked at me and she said 'Is that how he normally reacts when he see's people cry'? I nodded and then she gave the student a kind of 'knowing' look.

I cried all the way home. Took him to nursery and told the teacher and started crying again. I feel like I'm never going to be able to speak to anyone ever again without crying.

I'm not ready to accept this and I don't really beleive her. This is all so nightmarish.

What do I do now? She did mention the autistic society but I just want to speak to other parents who are going through this or have been through it.

Sorry if this a big ramble. I'm not really thinking straight at the moment.

Maddiemo and Tiggiwinkle - Thank you

I have to keep reminding myself that a DX wouldn't have been given without the paed. being 100% sure. After all it's a lifelong disability (is that the right terminology?) and I'm sure it would harm her reputation if she was DXing willy nilly.

Lillypond

Sorry you are going through this. I remember when I saw the first letter describing my Ds2's difficulties I felt sick to the core. And for a while it was the only thing I could think about. It gets easier but I know that's not much consolation at the minute.

I know it's early days and you need time to absorb the diagnosis but it might be worth requesting portage. They will send someone who will visit you and your son in your home and carry out activities / play with him. A good portage worker will help you communicate with nursery and put you in contact with the education support when you feel ready to look for help. I find my portage worker very supportive personally and I feel that she has really got to know my Ds2 which gives me back up when we see professionals who have only met him once or twice and don't get a good picture of him.

You can request portage directly see here or your paed or GP could do it for you.

Getting a diagnosis like autism for your child is an awful shock. I will always remember how devastated I felt when I got an ASD diagnosis for my ds, even though I long suspected it before being told. It's very hard to take in, I was also angry with my ds, but that was shortlived and I expect quite a normal reaction. But as soon as I got the diagnosis I recieved so much help and support that I didn't feel that I was battling this alone anymore, and things have got better, and I hope in time when you've been able to take this all in, it will get easier for you too.

I knew DS was AS< but when the DX came I went into complete shock. I couldn't post here for ages, and cried a lot. It was a hard time. I dom't think I accept it yet- DX was in April- but I keep repeating it to everyone in the hope that I'll believe it one day, instead of being something that I did that caused it all.

Speaking to the AS has helped, and we hope to go to a support group when we are feeling brave enough. We're also off to BIBIC we hope (as much to feel proactive as anything).

Davros posted details of a counselling service earlier that might be worth keeping anote of if you feel low.

Good luck XX

Thank you all so much. Your messages have been so supportive and helpful.

Today has been easier than yesterday. I'm nowhere near to acceptance but I feel like I'm coping now. DS seemed to have a good day at nursery and I haven't been pulled to one side by his teacher yet, so that's all good.

Thanks xxx

Hi
I haven't posted here for ages, but still lurk a bit. Our ds1 now 8 was dx with AS 2.5 yrs ago, and your post brings back all the agony of that time. As others have said, even when you half-expect or even half-want a diagnosis, it feels like the end of the world when you get one. Yes, it is a 'lifelong developmental disability' - I couldn't get that horrible phrase out of my head for weeks initially.
But NOW life for us is immeasureably easier than it was then - the biggest factor is that ds1 has matured a lot and learnt how to cope with many of the situations which used to end in tantrums/fights/shouting/swearing, but we also ended up with 1:1 support full-time at school (now being withdrawn as he is doing well), and after a while I found the dx made dealing with friends, family and other parents so much easier. These days I hardly talk about it as most of the time he can pass for normal, if a little eccentric, but a couple of years ago I found talking about his 'label' a much better option than continually feeling guilty about things that had happened.
So, long post, but I suppose I wanted to give the slightly longer view - this stage will pass!
Would agree with others to take what his new teachers are saying with a pinch of salt, they haven't got to know him yet, and I suppose it's natural that they try and reassure you, if not altogether helpful.
Good luck, and keep posting - don't know how I would have got through that time without MN

jmb - thank you

Sorry if I opened up old wounds, but it was nice hearing about your DS. Hope the withdrawal of one to one goes well for him. Sounds like he's doing incredibly well

'Lifelong developmental disability' - that phrase just makes me want to take to my bed or hit the bottle or something. I understand what it means but I'm nowhere near to believing it yet. As we left nursery yesterday his teacher said 'we think they've got it all wrong' and gave me a wink. I felt better but on the way home we had the journey from hell. It took us 45 minutes when it should have taken 10. DS's behaviour is bizarre to put it mildly.

lillypond, my dd's half brother was diagnosed with autism 18 months ago just when his mum had a new baby, he was 2 at the time and they suspected that something was not quite right for a while, dd used to comment on it occassionally, i know it was a horible shock for ex dp and his new wife,it took them a few months to make sense of the diagnosis, he is on the milder end of the autistic spectrum, but his behaviour is very challenging and exhausting. they have received help from a local support group and he has a one to one at pre-school, however, he is an adorable little lad, with a cheeky personality when its a good day. his mum and dad have accepted his diagnosis and take each day as it comes. i know you mentioned the autism society and you may well find it beneficial to contact them.

Socci - I am trying to focus on DS as an individual but it's hard with him just being a few days into nursery. It hurts so much to see all the other kids coming out and telling their mums what they've been doing and DS won't tell me anything. I'm trying not to compare but I'm finding myself earwigging just to have something to talk to DS about. I tested him last night. I started off asking if he did some painting, sung songs, listened to stories. He says 'yea' to everything. I then asked him if he'd been naughty, if the teacher had hit him, if he'd fallen over. He said yes to everything and he was listening and understanding. It's so bloody frustrating . Sometimes I feel like he's a different species to everyone else. He experiences the same things but they mean something different to him. I can't see his language ever progressing because he doesn't 'get' conversation. He just makes stuff up, nothings ever relevant.

Sorry to sound so depressed. I got DS's blood/chromosone test wallet thingy and melatonin prescription through today and it had 'autistic spectrum diagnosis' on everything. It really choked me up. I hid it and then forced myself to show DP when he got in. It was wierd because he looked at it quickly and then put it out of sight. It's like we can both cope with knowing the diagnosis but seeing it written down somewhere is too much.

DP had a big row with his mum yesterday. She works as a cook in the school where DS is at nursery. We specificlly asked her months ago not to go round to the nursery (the canteen is nowhere near so she has no need). She phoned and said she'd been hanging about after work and asking staff how he is doing. I'm bloody furious with her. She said that he's very 'quiet' which I assume means that he's on his own. I know I'm being over sensitive about it but it's really pissed me off. I've got no intentions of telling her about his DX at the moment and feel uncomforatable about her spying and questioning people.

Spacecadet - DS is also considered mild, but he is also v. challenging and exhausting. I've looked at the NAS website but can't take much in at the moment. In a few weeks hopefully I'll feel up to doing a bit more. Thanks

Hi Lillypond. How are you today?
Socci makes a very valid point. A diagnosisof this sort is merely a description of behaviours,in the same way that the term 'language disorder' sums up the nine pages of detailed notes and observations about my dd that I made this week.

It's quite simply a form of shorthand.

Noone can forecast the future.The possibilities for people with ASD now weren't even dreamt of 20 years ago and the same will hold true in 20 years. When I started work 10 years ago,Aspergers Syndrome was really obscure. A teenager was referred to me and Iremember doing lots of anxious reading before our first meeting!

A lot of the things that bother you can be easily remedied.For example,a picture based home/school diary. Written ones are used a great deal I know but aren't easily shared with a child who doesn't read.Therefore for these,I make a picture system whereby the teacher puts relevant pictures matching the days activities into a book that goes home every night.Mum can open it and look at it with the childwhose memory is jogged by the picture,and Mum has an idea what has gone on!
We encourage parents to use them too-send them into school with pictures of what has been going on in the home.

I can let you know more if you are interested or your salt will help.

Don't worry too much at present.It's early days.Enjoy him and make sure he is settled and happy (he sounds such a sweetheart from your descriptions). Don't go down the nutter mum route like me.
Dd came home with her first homework reading book and record book last week. I religiously recorded every night's session with little comments,notes on how long we had spent and so on. Got a note back today saying great but,errrrr....we don't need you to note every single night's session-one general comment for the week will do.

Still,rather be known as Ms Over-Anxious than Ms Couldn't-give-a-shit. As I know form my work,the squeaky wheel gets the grease.....

XXX

Hi Lillypond. I am another mom who has had a recent diagnosis (2 mos ago) of my 2.7yr old son. Like you, I am sure, this is NOT the forum I thought I would be meeting you in. But, me like you now have something in common. No matter how much I try to think about how many other dear parents are going through this,it still doesnt make me feel any less alone in what i can only describe as an immense "struggle".

I would like to tell you though, that in my own instance, regarding my son (non defined asd diagnosis) that when i was told, I decided to hit the ground running.

The morning my son was diagnosed, i cried my lamps out. By the afternoon i was on the internet and phoning doctors all over the U.K. looking for "answers". I found a lot! That day was a whirlwind for me and for weeks afterwards. Now it is two months on and my son is a different person!

Let me tell you about him. The day after his diagnosis, I started biomedical intervention. I took him off of all milk (casein) and for the 2 weeks after that weaned him off of gluten. 2nd, i took him to a private nutritional/environmental doctor who took his blood, urine and faeces tests. He was found to have allergies to many substances, a severely compromised immune system and heavy metal toxicity. For that, he was prescribed numerous supplements which have made a great impact on his health.

I wont go into much more detail here cause I am sure your head is spinning. I just wanted to say that when you get things together and start to see daylight again (and you will, believe me!!) please please investigate your child's "health". You can get blood and urine/faeces work ups on the NHS for free. But, you must DEMAND them. Once you have an idea of what is going on in your child's body, you will be able to compare them to what is going on in other kids who have autism and you might see amazing correlations. I know i did.

In two weeks, i cleared up my son's excema which was unbelievable. He would bleed all over his bed clothes every night. Today, he has no excema. Not a trace. Today, two months on, my sons social skills are 100 percent improved over what they were.

I would plead with you to follow your gut instinct as a mom and dont listen to me or anyone else if you dont trust that what they say might help your child. You will know what is right for your child cause he is an individual. All i can say is I dont feel depressed any more and autism to me is more of a challenge than anything else. My son is just sooo different in such a short space of time. Diagnosis does not equal prognosis and what has happened before regarding your son has little or no correlation with what will happen. Things are happening regarding autism in a big big way now. But, no one will come knocking at your door to tell you about it. In fact most (particularly the medical community) will poo poo it and call you misdirected, or even mad.

Our kids have the right to every social/educational/medical intervention available. They deserve it. But at the end of the day its up to us, their parents, to seek it out. I walked out my sons paediatricians office the day he was diagnosed with absolutely no one to turn to and no help whatsoever. My paediatrician though sympathetic, had nothing to offer me in terms of what to do. I knew this was wrong. Today, by virtue of my own research, my son has everything he needs right now to recover. Yes, RECOVER. I know thats not a word this forum uses much in terms of autism but please believe me there is a polar shift today in autism research and treatment. You wont find this information in the U.K. much but in Europe and the U.S. its widely discussed and widely followed. If you want more information, i will gladly provide it to you. (by the way, i am NOT a proponent or share holder of any method/company or individual) I'm just a mom who believes her son is the best little guy in the whole world and is going to have the chance like everyone else, to inherit that world.

God bless and the very best of luck to you and your child.

Hi mizmiz - thanks for thinking of me.

It has all hit me today really. I didn't send DS to nursery today as he has a cold and I really missed the routine of taking him and picking him up. His problems have been all too 'in my face' today and I got really p*ssed off. I'm so bitter about everything we've missed out on and all the things we're gonna miss out on in the future. The past few Christmases and birthdays have been dreadful.

This probably sounds pathetic but I'm actually scared of him at times. I wake up in the morning and am filled with dread because I know I've got to deal with him until DP comes home from work. He definetly behaves worse for me as well. Its like he hates me.

You've made me laugh about your DD's record book. DS's pead. asked me to keep a sleep diary for a month. Well, I took it really litterally and recorded everytime he got up, what he wanted, how long before he went back to sleep - not one single detail did I miss. I filled the whole book (about 60 pages) whithin 2 weeks. When I gave it to her she said 'perhaps you could just tell me how things have been as I don't really have the time to read this' .

Davros suggested a communication book as well and I'm trying to catch his teacher to suggest this to her. I hadn't thought of one with pictures before though. I know DS would benefit from this especially if the teacher encourged it. He is very taken with her . I don't know if you saw my 'autism resources' thread but I am trying to set up a visual timetable at home to encourage communication and a bit of responsibility. I'm hoping if he 'gets it' that he will help sort the symbols out and put them in the right order and maybe we can build on this. I was going to take it in to nursery and show his teacher and ask if she would consider using a similar system there. I don't mind doing all the work if she doesn't want to get too involved but it won't work unless she shows him the symbol before each activity. I don't know how much to expect from her really and I'm worried she will think I'm taking the micky if I ask her to do 'special' things for DS.

There's one thing I wanted to ask you if you don't mind. At DS's last SALT asmt his therapist gave him several little bags of themed toys. One bag had a dining table, table cloth cutlery etc. in and another was transport themed. She said that his imaginative play was very good because he set the table properly and wheeled a car along the floor. I was quite surprised as I thought that imaginative play had to be more sociable than that such as feeding a teddy or 'reading' a book to a doll. I thought he was just displaying logic skills rather than being imaginative.

I definetly would appreciate any help on setting up the communication book or visual time table, especially if you could point me in the right direction for free or resonably priced symbols to print out.

Thanks so much for your help. Will be thinking of you on Monday. xxx

mamadadawahwah - Sorry to hear about your DS's DX. I don't think I'm shocked anymore as the writing has been on the wall for a long time for us. I've read so much on MN about ASD's and I recognised DS in a lot of the posts so I kind of knew that my DS had autism, but I can't say that I was prepared for his DX.

I do feel very alone at the moment. I might try to find a parents support group in my area as I think I need to make some connections with people who know how this feels. I have told a few people in R/L about DS's DX but I'm not ready to talk about how I feel with them yet. I can't really because I feel resentful and bitter that this is happening to me and not them. I don't suppose they would want to support me if I said that to them.

I really admire you for being pro-active so soon after a DX. I wish I had the strength but I really don't. I didn't ask the paed. what might have caused this and have deliberately stayed away from any info on the internet that say's 'causes of autism' or anything similar. I have no idea what they say because I can't bring myself to read them. I don't want to hear that this is my fault, or something I did unknowingly when I was pregnant. My son has a cosmetic condition as well that could have been treated as an infact but we didn't know until it was too late, and I really couldn't take it if I found out that this is my fault as well.

Sorry, I am going off topic. I know you are talking about therapies and treatments, not causes. I supoose I am just frightened that one leads to the other.

It's lovely to hear that he's doing so well and I hope it continues. I'll let you know when I'm feeling brave enough to make the next step.

Good luck and {{{hugs}}} to your DS.

Lilypond, a support group sounds like a great idea. I have a few people i can talk to and it has been very very helpful. Just in terms of comparing notes, we find out lots of info from each other regarding services etc. As you said, its painful to express your sons dx in real life to friends etc. boy, do i know this.

Even in face of my friends bleating on about their kids and how smart and clever they are, i know that my son is actually more intelligent. I dont tell them this (despite their insensitive comments around me - people just dont think) I know that the odds are my son is probably way way more intelligent than their kids, but just in a different way.

In a world where we know very very little about autism, I have found that talking to as many people as possible has really enlarged my "autism" vocabulary and I feel so much more confident now. I can safely say that I am on top of what is going on regarding research etc, and I feel way more in control of the situation. Everyone is different, but that is how I cope.

You will find your coping mechanisms too. I should add that I still cry two months on, but its fleeting and I think i cry more for myself than for my son because there is just so much to do!
God bless

Morning Lillypond.
The baby will wake any minute now,so excuse concise and clipped tone!

Who hasn't dreaded a day alone with a three year old,whether or not they have ASD? It's important to keep it in perspective.All children of this age are hard work.

I'm a manic record keeper but see it as a good thing.I am primed to record stuff on paper. I've kept a diary for years and keep a record book of things i do with dd,language samples and so on.Makes me feel constructive and shows me how much she has moved on.

I don't think you have tol 'ask' staff to do things,you should expeect it (courteously of course.) You really need a SALT'S support in setting up a visual system.It's too much for you to do alone,although with support you will in a year or so have a very simple and manageable system in place It is the way to go for clildren with communication impairments (actually,they'd benefit nearly every child anyway.
What is the SAKT situation?

Our professional catalogues are full of fab books and resources for anyone with a brain and the tenacity to think about the situation.
Winslow is a great one. Ring 0845 230 2777 and ask for a catalogue-the Education and Special Needs one. They are also online winslow-cat.com

My bible (which they sell) is Visual Strategies for Improving Communication by Linda A. Hodgdon (Quirk Roberts Publishing) It is about £40 but well worth the money.So simple and logical,not ascary read at all!They also have lots of good general info about ASD

Re PECS..with the help of Social Services,we have managed to pay for parents to attend course.
Well worth the couple of hundred quid for two days. So inspiring,leaves you feeling like you could climb Everest!!!

Also we have often purchased the picture symbols packet 'Widgit Working with Symbols' as a communication aid for various individuals. Do you know about this? It's brilliant for everyone.
Check it out in another favourite catalogue of mine,'Inclusive Technology'.
Give them a ring 0800 975 6090 and ask for a catalogue.
They come and do equipment demonstrations for us and are wonderful people,especially dear dear Roger Bates.

So.talk to your salt about thisstuff.They may by it for you/have it already.
Consider even asking parents/grandparents for it as Christmas/birthday presents.It will be more useful to you allthan yet more plastic.

The play that he does is very encouraging,and no,imaginative play doesn't necessarily have to be sociable.
Have you heard of story sacks? Your local library could have them? They are basically a bag of equipment/toys,themed around a book.
We have Little Red Riding Hood at present,which contains the story,plenty of props such as the flowers and basket of food for Granny and the cape.There is a story tape,puzzles and jigsaws and other stuff.
They're fabulous,dd goes to bed each night in the cape,clutching the flowers lol!

Everything will be ok. It can't not be with him having such a fabulous mother.

XXXXXX

Hi mamadadawahwah - We don't know what DS's intellectual ability is yet. His paed. thinks he may have learning disabilities as well as autism. I know he doesn't learn by example, although he does imitate, so we are hoping that with the right approach to learning he will do well in school.

It does hurt when frineds talk about their child's achievements. DS has been late to hit every milestone and seems so different from the 'walking, talking, super babies' that my friends all seem to have. I'm sure they don't realise that it grates on me and would probably be a bit miffed if they knew. I remeber back in April when Liam's late development started to become relevant to his behaviour amongst the health professionals dealing with him. My best friend's DD (just under a year) had started walking and she brought her round to show me. I was expecting her to be clutching furniture and stumbling about with bruised legs, but she was a proper little independant walker. It was intensely painful for me to see, but her mum was jut revelling in pride and excitement and thought I felt the same. I'm sure I'd do it too if things were different.

For the moment my coping mechanism is thinking about this in small doses. If I think about it too much I just get too choked up, but it's getting easier.

Oh Lilypond, how i feel for you. At first i had flashbacks to the day of the diagnosis. I would wake up feeling sick to my stomach. To be honest, for the first little while it was hard for me to even play or be with my son. I just didnt know if i was going to cope. That lasted about 3 days for me. I dont know what happened. I expected to be so depressed having lost all the "dreams" for my beautiful little guy! I talked to God, to dead relatives, and pleaded with them to do something. I was manic. Why my son. I got the platitudes about how he was "special" and how i was "chosen" to be his parent, blah blah. All i could wish for was that someone else was given this special "gift" not my son! Anyone, the neighbour, friends, i didnt care, just NOT me and MY son. Awful isnt it.

Then a few days passed. I talked and ranted and researched like mad and realised that everything was up to me if good things were going to happen for my son. Nobody was offering support from within my own circle. And i mean NOBODY. As I said, I knew this was wrong. If my son had gotten cancer (god forbid) he would have had a plethora of investigations and organisations there to help him. But not with autism. Our kids just arent on the richter scale of importance I'm afraid. Thats a real hard thing to say but the way society views those with autism is not very good. Its a great unknown and people generally think of "rain man" or some such when you tell them.

(mind you i dont tell a lot of people - my sons medical history is his and my business no one elses)

I could go on and on and on. WE all could. You are in the throes of it all and all you want is answers and support I am sure. When you feel more settled, there is a wealth of info on the net that you wont find anywhere else. Where i live we dont even have the NAS. We have one or two groups which are more information oriented than help oriented.

When the dust settles I assure you you wont be "rambling" anymore as you said in your original thread. You will become the expert! In no time at all you will learn all there is to know about ASD. I just got a call from a person with dyspraxia (which is also apparently on the spectrum). She said that where we live (N. Ireland) 1 in 10 people have dyspraxia. Thats 160,000 people in N. Ireland. Numbers of individuals on the "spectrum" are growing at exponential rates. we dont know why but things will be changing very soon in terms of help and support provided. I know this dosent make you feel any better but take it from me, I am just so hopeful - there is so much to work with now. Its not like the 80s or the 90s. Your son is young and has so much unbelievable potential and a future which is bright, indeed glowing. Please dont despair. He will feel this in you. You are all he has got!

By the way, i refused the IQ test for my son. I know my son is bright and after having researched how the iq tests are carried out I cant believe they are accurate, or even necessary. I dont know what they can prove in children so young. But thats my take on it. In my opinion the test is just one more assault on my poor little guy. Its bad enough he was given a diagnosis of asd much less having his iq tested at such a tender age. Honestly i dont think i could cope if the test came out on a low score. I know it would be a wrong calculation but i dont need the extra frustration.

bye for now

Hi mizmiz - wow you've given me loads to think about - thankyou so much.

SALT hasn't really started yet. We've had 2 assessments and group therapy is due to start in November with one to one after that. I'm hoping that this DX will give him access to more therapy. He saw the same therapist at both asmt's and she was lovely. So enthusiastic and vibrant, and she indulged his number obsession, so DS really likes her. I don't know if she will be DS's therapist but I hope so as she was so positive about everything he 'could' do and kept reassuring me that everything regarding his language problems was 'do-able'.

I think I'll write to her as I don't know if she will be told of DS's DX, and ask her about the resources you've mentioned. She's sent me quite a lot of stuff to do with Liam to encourage him to use verbs and make sentances. A big bonus with her is that she used to work at the language unit in DS's school so she knows the Head and knows what the school have done for previous children with language problems.

Thanks so much for all your suggestions. I'm keeping a list of every idea/resource that I come across in a note book. Some things are too expensive to do right now but may be possible next year. I'm gonna go and look up your suggestions now.

I really appreciate all the help and advice you've given me. SALT's are in short supply so I feel like I've struck gold here.

Hi mamadadawahwah - I would be interested to see how DS would perform in an IQ test but it does seem like a horrible thing to put a child through. I'm not convinced that he would co-operate with the tester anyway so it may be inconclusive.

I've only told 2 people in R/L apart from his school and their reactions have been pretty predictable. I think most people without personal experience of autism automatically think of Rainman or Classic autism. DS has a good visual memory and good fine motor skills, but they are not exceptional, just more advanced than the rest of his development. My mum said 'perhaps he'll draw maps when he's older as his special-skill is his memory for places'.

Hijack alert - sorry Lillypond, I haven't got the guts to start my own thread...

My ds (2.3 yo) had an assessment for his speech delay at the CDC a few days ago. They said he has delays in many areas (cognitive, social, even physical), and that they couldn't rule out autism, but that a more thorough assessment by a multi-disciplinary team was needed. When we left, they gave us loads of leaflets about autism, so it was pretty clear what they thought!

My problem (apart from the emotional impact obviously) is that we're moving to a different town (Sheffield) and are about to exchange contracts on a house that is at the very top of our budget. My question is - how much help can you expect for an autistic child on the NHS? Would it be better to buy a cheaper house so we'd have money left to spend on private therapists?

(I know this is very premature as he hasn't even been dx'd yet, but we've only got a few days left to change our minds about the house...) Sorry again for the hijack

Hi Homsa, i just posted something regarding that. Depending on what area you live in, I suppose you might avail of better services than in others.

As i said in my other thread, i paid £50.00 per hour for an ABA therapist to come to the house (this was a reduced rate by the way, cause i joined their outfit!)

You can do this more cheaply i suppose by engaging university students perhaps. I dont know. Or you could learn the basics yourself. Or you could try a totally different intervention. personally i am not going with ABA anyhow.

what i have found the most expensive and NOT covered by the NHS is the medical investigations into my sons "condition". I found a really really good doctor who has sent my sons bits and pieces all over the states and europe for testing. The results have been awesome, though scary. This is only if you take the biomedical intervention route. Some you can get for free on the NHS but they dont encourage it.

I really dont know what you should do with your house. If you start putting things on hold because your son may or may not be autistic, where does it end??? He needs normality. Unless you got a definite diagnosis and wanted to place him in an ABA school (which costs thousands) i cant see why you shouldnt move. The real costs of the diagnosis to us parents, is emotional, way more than money. Its the input we have to invest.
What we invest, we get back. If you dont invest there is nothing saved up to take out, if you know what i mean.

If you have to work 10 hours a day to keep up the mortgage on your new house, then perhaps a re-think is in order unless you have the resources, help and money to pay someone to help your son. If he is indeed diagnosed, due to his age, you will probably want to begin some real intervention now, whilst he is young. This takes time. IN my own case, just the reading and researching alone took 2 months and i am nowhere near finished.

But, that's me. All i would say to you is that our lives do not cater to our autistic son. We are not an AUTISTIC family, so to speak and carry on as normally as possible. The changes that will occur in your life will be never ending regardless of whether or not your child is autistic. Maybe just different coping mechanisms will have to be learned or put into place.

in my humble opinion anyway. Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one, cause it will be with your beautiful child in mind.