people with aspergers are incapable of showing afffection

[jenk1]

my sister is seeing a counsellor for various things.

When she mentioned about myself and DS having Aspergers and the possibility of it being in the family and could she have it this is what the counsellor said. "You definatly have not got aspergers or any form of autism because people with this condition are incapable of showing any affection"
i said WHAT
she said well my sister shows affection and her son does to an extent but the counsellor still said no.

I have told her to ask to see a professional such as a psychologist or psychiatrist but dont know if she will it has taken her months to see a counsellor.

I just feel really mad, people are making diagnosis or misdiagnosing because they havent got the right training, IMO my sister is AS/ASD.

Just needed to rant-feel better now!

I think this is a fairly widespread misconception Jenk1. Shocking that a counsellor should be so ill-informed though.

That's madness!

The more I have read over the last year, the more I am convinced that my sister has Aspergers - albeit possibly mild, but definately there.

She shows affection in her own way.

Surely a counsellor should explain that they don't have the training to be able to diagnose???

ARGH!

i have a friend with an aspergers daughter who is affectionate. Could be, like autism, and is shown with several common traits as well as individual ones

Load of bollocks!

sorry just re read properly, feel free to disregard last post!!

absoloute cr*p, my friends 8yr old boy has aspergers and yes fair enough it has taken some work and patience but over the years he has learnt to have emotions and show affection. he has even started to associate in a freindly way with other children.

I have AS and my son does and although i dont readily show affection i do to my DH and kids.

My DS has AS and he finds it hard to show affection but he will give hugs to me, dh and the baby when no one else is in the house so i know from personal experience that this woman doesnt know what she,s talking about

Why do people so blithely assume they are experts on subjects about which they know no more than my cat? Counsellor is talking out of her behind. And shows a lack of judgement in making sweeping statements based on no knowledge at all. Wouldn't take advice from someone capable of pretending a schoolboy error is a professional opinion, personally.

She obviously knows nothing about
Aspergers/Autism. My ds who's autistic is very capable of being affectionate, maybe in a slightly unusual way but he's forever giving me hugs, kisses and telling me that he loves me.

My severely autistic ds1 has just spent half an hour cuddling up to my mum. Or perhaps we imagined it. I suspect the counsellor read an article in a magazine once and considers herself an expert.

its so annoying though isnt it, u can do a course in counselling and they bang- u are an expert on diagnosing disorders etc.

If my sister didnt know about AS/ASD she might carry on with this woman thinking that she has the answer to her problems and i dont think that she has

Actually this is something that worries me. My son (who has been described as having Aspergers tendencies at school) really doesn't show any physical affection at all...and if you do it to him he finds it painful. He used to be quite cuddley when he was little....but now goes all rigid if you try to hug him...and never instigates any form of physical affection to anyone else.
Saying that ...perhaps it's his age too (8)...(she says hopefully :-(...hmmmmmm)

hi, ive posted in response to one of your previous threads jenk, im a regular poster, i have aspergers and have no probs showing affection to my dh and dc's, i will say that i find it very uncomfaortable if a friend puts their arm round me, but then plenty of people feel like that!, my probs are with eye to eye contact and i do tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, i sometimes wonder if its better to keep my mouth shut!

I think that people with AS/ASD do many things that NT people do but they tend to do them on their own terms iyswim, or in a "disordered" or excessive way. My DS does show affection to a lot of people, mostly familiar adults, and especially to me and DH. My sister who has AS, I wouldn't say she is affectionate at all but she does go through having an obsessive interest in people, usually one at a time! Just shows how different people on the spectrum can be in something like this but neither are like someone who is NT.

My ds who is currently being dxd with AS has the opposite problem - over-enthusiastic and aggressive affection to the extent that you can't peel him off you and he scares off other kids with his friendly gestures. His hugs are so extreme that they hurt like hell. And he tells me several times a day that he loves me. Sack the counsellor, she's talking out of her posterior.

Totally agree - ds is AS and is EXTREMELY affectionate. He tells me he loves me several times a day and has periods of being overly affectionate.

When I last spoke to a counsellor about my ds, she said it is definitely not her job to diagnose. This woman should be reported - she could be doing more harm than good. She could have put your sister in a difficult position, where she got very anxious and upset.

I overheard the woman who runs the Autistic group we go to saying this - she was absolutely adamant that her daughter could not be affectionate, therefore other people with AS could not be.

CHOCS!!! I am so glad to see you!

Jenk...that is exactly what people 'in the know' say about me

But...i believe if i am AS ...that I have learnt to be sociable...learnt to have a 'normal' eyecontact etc....but inwardly i have to cocentrate on these things...which outwardly appear so 'natural'

i feel there is 'a spectrum within a spectrum' ...that being that AS is Autism...but then within AS there are 'degrees' of how we are affected...so take the good old TRIAD....I believe i am 'Impaired' in all 3 but less so than someone else i know ...who was diagnosed last year...so she appears more 'anti-social'...and does not 'mask' it- as she is not aware she is 'anti-socail'...whereas i have to try so hard to be socialble that i end up in situations that i am very uncomfortable in...but because i am 'joining' in...people pat me on the bak- whereas she gets 'labeled'

hope that makes sense!!

totally mrs f, i have learnet over the years to be sociable but i dont find it easy, it takes great effort for me to go to a social occasion,take yesterday for example, a BBQ at my uncles house,just family not a big deal but it was to me, i spent the time "playing" on the floor with dd so i wouldnt have to speak to adults and i developed a real interest in my uncles vegetable patch outside in the garden! i did ok though because i had advance notice of a few weeks that i would be going and psychd myself up to it.
DS on the other hand stayed outside in the garden and sat under the buffet table when inside!

I work with people with severe learning difficulties. Several of them are Autistic,Several have aspergers. Some can show affection (hugs and kisses) others cant. Maybe its partly a personality thing - im no expert though!
hth

From my own reading and experience I think Aspergers is fairly close to Autism on the spectrum and people with real Aspergers (that causes them social problems) do have difficulty showing affection.

People with mild Aspergers can show varying degrees of affection and ability to function in normal life. Many people diagnosed with Aspergers are often only as bad as other people who just have social difficulties (ie geeky types)

I know four people who supposedly have Aspergers. 1 is almost autistic, 2 are just a little odd and don't 'get jokes and stuff. The other is just difficult and insensitive to other people, I have never seen him be affectionate, he just doesn't like people until they are dead, then he is overly emotional about them.

Flum...what do you mean with "real Aspergers"...i have 2 sons with AS...both completely differently affected...but VERY REAL to me.

Flum- I think your knowledge of Aspergers is a little well, limited? Asperger's is part of the autistic spectrum.

I guess most people would consider my son to be very high functioning... but he is not in any way similar to a geeky type imo.
Maybe to some people, some things he does would come across as similar...but that's just looking at a few surface details and the way he appears or reacts . In reality he is completely different.I look for similarites... specially at first because i guess this is what i wanted to see...but to be honest as time goes on i realise that his brain operates in a way that is soo alien to me i know i will never comprehend it.
What i'm trying to say is that...he's not just a 'bit odd'..or 'geeky'...but that his whole brain and the connections he makes are made differently.

troutpout, good post!