Art, drama, dance, music, any other educational/play activities out there?

[tallwivglasses]

I posted this on my local mumsnet, but don't hold out much hope because it seems to get very few posts...

Anyway, this is my OP:

'I have an 11 year old son [ASD, LD, ADHD] and I found it very frustrating over the summer that so many children's activities on offer [libraries, arts, museums, etc] were totally unsuitable/innappropriate for a lot of disabled kids.

I've had enough! I pay taxes [admittedly, not much because I'm poor] for local kids to access a range of fantastic activities, and quite rightly so...but where do those with multiple and complex needs fit in?

Is there anything out there?
Have you found an activity where your child's needs are met?
Any horror stories? [I could tell you a few...]

Fancy doing something about it?'

I'm harking back to a really funny thread on here at the start of the holidays - totally unsuitable places you've taken/would take dc's to [wish I could remember the ref. It was the start of me loving mn]
But the serious side is that actually, there really is fuck all mainstream, 'in the community' events where my son can take part and be welcomed!

I'm in the North East - but would be really interested in hearing about good [and bad] experiences all over.

I rather like the idea of a 'mystery shopper' -type approach. Anyone up for it?

[I do hope so. I'm sick of local bigwigs patting themselves on the back for thinking they're being so successfully inclusive GRRRR!]

Im lucky I belong to a ASD group for girls and we had loads to do over the summer, had to pay for some but had a great summer.

lisad - please - tell me what you did!

I'm glad you had a great summer x

we had pool party (hired private pool for just us), skate party (hired whole skate hall), had dispractic (sp) group come and teach them to ride bikes, went to local mill and make clay pots and bread, had trampoline party, used a large garden and had camp out, went to local schools camp, went to picture to see movies, had a yoga class, a drama class, went to special need adventure playground in london, went to zoo, went to farm, went to potpainting place (booked out) , went to celtic camp for the day, had a party and also met for coffee!!

we were very busy

tallwivglasses, I started the original totally inappropriate places to take your child thread. Glad you liked it! I started it because I needed to laugh at our tragedy - not that our children are disabled but that there is so little out there for us and family life is so badly affected. Your letter says it all.

It's a postcode lottery as to provision. I am lucky in that we have a playscheme locally, which caters for disabled children wonderfully, including - and this is where so much provision falls down - the most severely disabled children. I am a proud trustee of this organisation, but it is in danger because of cuts. Without it, I think the holidays would be unbearable. I am also part of a parent-run group which is great but we don't have the funds to do much and we are all too knackered to do serious fundraising.

I hate to say it, but in this current economic climate, I don't see things improving. Are there any other parents out there who you can go out with in a group? I spent years on my own with my son, but now I've got in with a group, it is much easier to go out even if the kids are kicking off as it just doesn't seem as mortifying - in fact, we laugh about it which is the best medicine. I think I've just been lucky meeting them as we have the same sense of humour and our kids are mainly SLD and bonkers.

I would love to start a group called 'Let's Invade', where you take a bunch of learning disabled kids into council-run children's activities and just say 'here we are, this is our town too and we pay our taxes. Please entertain our children'. Good luck

I used to run a respite good before I had my girls and we used to take them everywhere, to the cinema, farm, soft play and library and sod anyone that tried to complain, but as staff I guess we didnt take it personally.

bloody hell, wrote a long post, lost it. It's late. Very excited that I've met yous.

Looking forward to more conversations x

Have to say this is one of the reasons I was keen for DS to go to residential school. Not because I don't want him at home/don't want to take him to activities, but as he grew older the available activies/levels of tolerance dwindled. Our EP said that having those activities as part of his waking day curriculum was essential for him to learn social skills.

At school he has a chance to go to mainstream activities, but always with support workers, in groups with other SN children but also comes into contact with NTs as well. I really think that if he wasn't at that school, he'd be at home on his own every night playing computer games and not mixing with other children.

I think it's a shame that most SN schools don't offer any after school provision, even independent ones. All of that activity is just as important as the education they get there. And yes, with the cutbacks I'm sure that any that are currently offered are likely to be cut.

Hi milky - Thanks for responding. Please be around in the next few days? Would love to talk more x

Where abouts are you in the north east?

I organise activities for children with AS and similar about once a month. We hire swimming pools for party sessions, dry sledging and archery at an outdoor activities centre - that sort of thing.

I've got an archery thing on this afternoon if you can get to Gateshead

Absolutely! We currently access bits and pieces, because ds is still just about able to do younger kids' stuff where I can hover and verbally or physically interve if need be. But the gap is widening and soon he'll be too big for that stuff.

Although I can't praise our beaver colony highly enough. They're not perfect, but they really work hard to include ds and a couple of other dc. And the local SN support group runs a great playscheme.

Complex needs dc get f-all. Much less than they did 20y ago when I used to work for a council weekend respite unit and summer playscheme.

Im in Herts

UN convention on the rights of the child states that all children have the right to freedom of expression and association - think that covers holiday clubs. Get in contact with your local council and tell them that there is no suitable provision for your DS - and they are therefore breaking the UN Convention (that might get them a leetle bit worried). I used to run drama workshops, I would have got the sack if I excluded anyone on grounds of disability - I've asked kids with ADHD to sit out of activities because they were being a danger to themselves and others, but after a bit of reflection they've always joined in again. And I've run workshops for groups that were totally mixed, with children with all sorts of complex multiple blah de blah blah blah. The worst workshops are with some of the totally able, privileged and spoilt sons and daughters of the elite - now there are some kids I would REALLY like to exclude. Donkeyderby - "Let's Invade" - brilliant idea!

Thanks for the responses.

lisad your girls project sounds amazing. Was it council-funded?

Milky - interesting post. I know we're going to have to face the possibility of residential school in the future (dreading it...). I hadn't thought of the positive sides!

Streaky - We're in Newcastle. Do we have to be Gateshead residents to access your club? It sounds excellent.

Maria - It's really good to hear that a mainstream activity like beavers is making an effort to be inclusive. We turned up once to a woodcraft folk open day. They panicked!

Donkey - So it was you! 'Let's invade' - I like your style! You're right. I need to get together with other parents. It doesn't help that the school's the other side of town, I work and don't drive. But I need to stop making excuses.

Babymutha - Oooh, the UN convention...
I'm also in community arts - there's very little inclusive arts activity round these parts. I'm trying to do something about it. Just need loads of time and money!

Here's an example of a piss-poor experience - I took ds to a local art gallery. We were in the kids' space where there was a room attached with an art workshop going on. Ds went through the open door, did his usual tour of the walls, found some fascinating coat hooks to twiddle, then turned a tap on. As I was my usual 2 inches behind him, I turned it off immediately.
The facilitator looked all stern and said 'Could you get him to leave, please'. I apologised and said I hadn't noticed any 'NO DISABLED CHILDREN ALLOWED' sign on the door

After a similar incident on another occasion, I filled out a feedback card saying 'this gallery is NOT disability-friendly'. Weeks later I got an email asking to explain what I meant. I replied saying I'd far rather pop in and speak face to face. When I got no response I asked should I just put it in an email then? That was weeks ago.
My complaint is obviously very low on their list of priorities. Again, GRRRR!

tallwivglasses - little bit at a time, don't try and do it all at once (advice to myself too).

Ha ha, babymutha - that's good advice. Maybe I'll start with the art gallery...

tallwivglasses - If you can make our Gateshead venues you're more than welcome to join us .

We've just had an Archery session at Whickham Thorns this afternoon which was lovely (if slightly damp).

I've got places available for Snow Tubes at WT on 17th Oct if your son is interested.

There are quite a few boys of your son's age (including my ds) so he might make a few friends too.

Email me karen dot thirlaway at blueyonder dot co dot uk and I'll add you to my mailing list.

Thanks, Streaky. I'll do that x

I think that for DS, the problem is not just unwelcoming people running groups, it is that he finds so little meaning in so many activities.

For kids like him, there needs to be a return to specialist LD services, not inclusive stuff that excludes him. I would love to have a centre nearby to go to, especially in the horrible winter months, with tailored activities

Hi tallwivglasses, I hope you manage to find something suitable locally.

DS was rarely asked to leave any activities, even when he had meltdowns or ended up showing aggressive behaviour. It's just that the whole environment was often wrong - noisy, busy, bright.

He'd be so anxious that he would take himself out for large parts of the session, refusing to follow instructions etc, that it hardly seemed worth him going in the end. It was difficult for me to keep taking him as well, with all the disapproving looks and having to hover constantly in case I had to intervene. That's manageable for a primary-aged child but when they're a preteen, they're expected to be dropped off by a parent and left to themselves.

So I don't know if I can actually blame the companies/organisers - I just don't know what they could have done without letting DS dictate the terms of the activity. I'm able to take him out on trips just by myself, but he has no interaction with any other children and he seems to prefer it that way. But if he continued to avoid his peers altogether, he'd never learn the social skills needed to get on in life.

Very timely thread for me!

On saturday I managed to get into the library on my own, asked if they had anything on especially for special needs. Was told they couldn't do it because nobody had the training. I replied that it didn't require any training, simply an allotted time when children with sn and their parents could come along to something, be it storytime, singing etc and not have to worry about other children/parents and just let their children enjoy themselves.

Unfortunately she just did not get it. Kept saying we were very welcome to come along to storytime, there were children of all ages there, and they were very used to the younger children (eg. 1 year old) running around. I tried to explain that my 4 year old running around was really not the same thing, and I appreciated her being welcoming, but actually she wasn't the issue it was the other parents.

Anyway, didn't get anywhere, but I have not totally given up. Thinking about volunteering to do it myself there. Was feeling very tearful on Saturday so wanted to get away from the conversation quickly, will go back when I'm feeling stronger though and argue the case again.

Would love to hear from anyone who has set something up themselves?

no its not council funded at all, we do get grants from places ect but we fund some too.

Oooh, more posts. This is very exciting

I appreciate that lots of mainstream-type activities are totally inappropriate for some kids (including mine!)

But I think with a bit of thought, venues could do a whole lot more. Galleries could have the occasional multi-sensory exhibition where you are allowed to touch the exhibits...pre-school music sessions could be adapted for older sn kids...Christmas shows could do a shorter version where the actors interact with the kids (and they're allowed to wander about, play with the props, etc).

Has anyone seen Oily Cart Theatre co? They're amazing.

redhappy - I was once involved in a lovely library project in Middlesbrough - storytelling with Bag Books - mult-sensory books that were very expensive and all power to Middlesbrough libraries for forking out, but you could make your own. I also took along puppets and different things to touch, taste, smell, etc.
I worked with different groups - hearing-impaired, visually impaired, ASD, different ages, etc - it was great. I almost felt I should be paying them it was so much fun (almost!)

I've also done this with mixed/mainstream groups - it works just as well - as would some of the other ideas. All kids would like a touchy-feely art exhibition, wouldn't they?

Donkey, I fantasise about a centre. Better start doing the lottery!

That sounds great, will give it some thought. I think I will also suggest that they look at doing something multi-sensory (they have small art exhibitions at our library)

Oh, you've seen Oily Cart! I keep meaning to try and book one of their shows for our group but it never quite fits the bill as we have a mixed age and ability range.

Red, our library run a Sensory story-telling session, primarily for PMLD and visually impaired children. I took DS along as he's VI as well as everything else and it was PANTS! Well-meaning, wholemeal types telling overly complex stories about Africa and other places that DS would have no concept about, but which ticked their BME inclusivity box. I did suggest they book a separate room for multi-sensory activities for children with more challenging behaviour but think it fell on deaf ears. AT LEAST they've made an effort I suppose

Donkey, how frustrating that your library runs a rubbish session ('wholemeal types' )
I think you should go back and tell them what's what!

I'm totally inspired by Oily Cart (you can see them on Youtube) Ds loved their show, he sat on a big swingy seat, the performers sang them 'name' songs, let them play with water, bubbles, UV lights, etc. No-one minded if he got up and ran about or tried to eat the props - it was bliss.

I'm freelance and skint, but really trying to set up a resource where we can go to different spaces, hang up a load of fabrics, mobiles, etc, have lots of big cushions and hidey places and offer a range of toys, instruments, books, etc.

Last year we did a Halloween one and all dressed up - we had facepainting and costumes, arty stuff, a story grotto, aromatherapy massage, etc. It was great for siblings too because there was something for everyone. No funding for one this year though