DS expelled (KS2), waiting for aspergers assessment, come and tell me what the hell I should do and talk to me about home educating - would that drive me completly mad?!!

[triggerfish]

can anyone give more info on aspergers and what will happen next..

That is a big question! What kind of things do you want to know? How old is DS?

He is 7. Very bright, musical, quite shy, lacks confidence and self esteem. Has a hideous temper when things go wrong or don't go his way!

Expelled! Why? (my ds is same age and has Aspergers btw)

Triggerfish, if your ds has been expelled then it is the duty of your LEA to provide him with an alternative FULL TIME education and I believe they have a legal duty to provide this within 6 days. Off to Google that for you now.

I hope you are a SAHM because otherwise there may be problems for you because if they educate him at home, you or another responsible adult will have to be there.

They may offer a PRU (pupil referral unit) and if they do RESIST LIKE MAD. If your ds does have Aspergers, he will be put with children who may display behaviour that he may copy and it is not desirable in someone with Aspergers as they will only copy to be like the children they are with.

My heart goes out to you. You will have to be strong here and be prepared to fight your LEA to get the right provision and the right school for your ds.

Does he have a Statement at all? If he does not, then I would seriously suggest that you write to your LEA asking them for an assessment for a statement as soon as possible.

My ds has Aspergers (dx when he was 9). He is now 13 and has been out of school a year and he only gets 8 hours home tuition and that I had to fight for with legal help. He is home because he cannot cope in a mainstream situation.

He flew off the handle at school this a.m.
The school already have someone working 1:1 with him but they need funding to have someone all day every day. He hasn't been assessed for aspergers but it looks like a strong possiblity. He is still allowed in for the mornings, I just have to collect him at lunchtimes.When did you DS get diagnosed mabanana?

Another thing, do the school know that you are awaiting a diagnosis?

You can Appeal the expulsion to the Governors. You need to speak to someone quickly and get help. IPSEA are very good.

Why has he been expelled? What help were they offering him?

Ah, so it is not a permanent exclusion. The school are just reducing his hours. This is still illegal by the way. I hope they have put it all in writing to you because if they have not, they are acting illegally.

You must write to or telephone your LEA in the morning and ask them what they are going to do about it all.

Your son is legally entitled to a FULL TIME EDUCATION and if he is only doing mornings, he is not getting that.

My ds was diagnosed at three. Why do you have such a delay? Have you asked your GP to refer you to a developmental paediatrician? YOu really must. I see he is being excluded. This is not on - is this a formal exclusion or are they just asking you to pick him up? Make them make it formal so the LEA get worried. What is triggering his outbursts? Is there a pattern - eg at the same time of day? During the same activity? What did he do when he flew off the handle? I found giving my ds extra food mid-morning almost completely solved his meltdowns.

sorry, no he was four. Agree with Candlewax, they are acting illegally. DOn't stand for it.

You can also get help from the Advisory Centre for Education.

I do feel the school are being very supportive. I know they have to protect the staff and children from getting hurt. I think my main concerns are for him long term. If he can't manage at primary, then what about secondary and even more daunting, the big wide world?!

All this makes such nonsense of the antenatal classes where you were just thinking of how your precious baby was going to enter the world. It didn't cross my mind for a minute that we'd have such struggles ahead!

Candlewax, school are pushing for the referral to get a diagnosis. The reason he hasn't been seen up until now is he only moved there at Easter. His previous school refused to help at all. They said "he might be bright but if he doesn't want to learn, theres nothing we can do".Thats why we moved him and in fairness to the new school, hes been fine all last term until he went back in September.

No, this isn't giving you support, really it isn't. It is actually illegal to just tell you to take him home. Can you tell us more about his meltdowns? He is very young, don't assume things will always be like this. Proper support can absolutely turn things around. I have seen this myself with my own child.

I have no doubts that the right channels will be explored, I'm just not sure how the hell you cope as a parent of two, especially as DS2 have similar traits - ARRGH!

Lots of parents here have autistic kids with siblings, sometimes autistic kids with several autistic siblings!
Tell me about his meltdowns!

He gets very anxious about playtime. He finds it quite hard to mix with the kids at times. If he does pluck up the courage, and gets knocked back, hes devastated. Then he gets CROSS!

Of course the school have to protect the other pupils and the staff, but that still doesn't mean that your son should go without a full-time education.

Naturally you're concerned about your son's future but he's still a little boy and (I hope) the assessment will soon lead to him getting the help he needs to have a happy time at school. I don't know much about Asperger's but I would think there's a good chance of getting things back on track.

You sound very distressed. This must be painful for you. Have you got a friend nearby who can provide some moral support?

He also finds writing stories difficult until he has an idea, then he'd write 10 pages! Its just when he doesn't think he can do something. He thinks its better not to try then to try and fail.

I've had more support tonight on MN then the past 7 years! Thanks for all your comments, its so helpful.

triggerfish, could I just suggest that you listen to candlewax and mabana about whether the school is being as supportive as you think they are..

it sounds as though you need to act sharp-ish..

When he does get mad, he either hides under a table, runs off or throws furniture around, generally to get himself removed from the situation.

Does this happen at a certain time of day, or in response to a certain trigger (I bet it does). This is not unheard of behaviour. My own ds used to do this. It was poor handling by the school, and also my ds reacts very emotionally to hunger, and we needed to give him a big protein breakfast - boiled egg, soldiers, porridge, cheese on toast etc -AND a proper mid-morning snack, oatcakes and peanut butter, half a ham sandwich, digestives and cheese etc. This had a massive effect, so much calmer. He needed more 1-1 (25 hours in his statement), he has massages to calm him with deep pressure, he is allowed to go to the book corner to be quiet if things overwhelm him. He is a different child. We also give him some supplements, eg fish oils and one called Attentive Child, multivits and have removed any artificial colours, flavours and sweeteners from his diet.