HOw do you deal with people telling you your DC is 'fine'?! - Rant alert!

[SammyK]

??!??

I am currently in the process of fighting for a dx of aspergers/asd for DS 4yrs. He is high functioning, but does have lots of issues and behaviours that affect him daily (and nightly).

Relatives (mainly on DP's side) keep telling us (his parents) that he is fine, and I feel like screaming at them!!

I am seriously sleep deprived, I am sick of cleaning shitty pants, hugging his tears away, calming him, and having the same conversation over and over and over. I don't need people telling me he is fine. Or giving me parenting tips, or telling me he will gow out of it.

Sorry rant over now.

Of course witch has a good point- but it really doesn't make our lives easier.

Mabanana is spot on: it turns us the Mums into gloom-and-doom- mongers and induces unnecessary guilt. Not to mention the fear of Munchausen accusations. Speaking as one who in the past has had dd's problems attributed to sexual abuse/dysfunctional family and over-protective parenting, what I do not need is yet another person suggesting that I am overreacting. My Mum has finally cottoned onto this. But it took time.

i had to fight the denials from dh, fil and mil for years.
They made me feel i was quite crazy at one point.
ds is 11 and has aspergers dx
Interestingly i would put them all somewhere on the spectrum. They just thought he was amazingly clever like them i think.
They still don't get it. They have read the reports/assessment notes... they have read the science (and they are all scientists)..but somehow they just cannot quite grasp it. Whether they actually can't or don't want to is another matter..i suspect some of the descriptions are a little too close for comfort tbh .Apart from dh once, i have never heard them question where it might come from genetically .
I don't give a flying feck where it comes from btw...i just do with some help and understanding with our boy.

I hate this myself

It's a complete denial of not just the dx but all the problems that o with it. I am sure most people think it helps but nope, it don't!

Teacher told us ds3 would be better within a year LOL- he's almost certainly asd, marked language issues, 18 month @ delays

My lovely but batty frend thinks it was God intervenin with a message of healing but I think teacher just didnt fancy the paperwork

Hi everyone, looks like everyone has got things off their chests while I have been gone!

TBH when DS has a DX I don't think I will care what others say as I. Will. Know. I can just give them a pitying look and walk away.

It does hurt that they behve this way, regardless of their intentions and it doesn't help ds either.

If I have to explain to one more person that them 'trying to help' me to get ds on the toilet - by suggesting it to him as though I have never thought to , is not helping anyone.

I think because I make the adjustments ds needs automatically and respond for him in conversations, they don't see the half of what me and DP are dealing with day to day.

I am so new to this, that I am in one moment feeling all the frustration of those above, (including wondering what all the other parents are thinking, but not saying) then in another moment, thinking that surely I am making this all up, and I am finding an excuse to make me feel better about the fact that I can not cope.

I suppose because DD is my first, and not quite 3, as well, I spend countless hours analysing her behaviours and wondering if it is, in fact, normal for a 2.10 year old to do x.