How does your primary school with violence due to meltdown?

[CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease]

DS is 5, in Year 1.

He isn’t diagnosed - CDC assessment apt for ASC / ADHD is in November.
He is currently in the middle of the EHCNA

He finds school incredibly challenging, he has a 1:1 all day and a bespoke timetable, lots of adjustments. He doesn’t engage in much actual learning but does do a bit.

When he dysregulates he shouts/growls, runs away and if he really escalates then he lashes out. We are very clear with him that hurting others in unacceptable and talk it through once he’s regulated and in a place to take it onboard. He will apologise for hurting people, though he lacks empathy and I’m not completely sure he understands why it’s not ok.

He has now had 2 x 1/2 day suspensions for kicking a teacher when having a meltdown. Both times, once he has regulated, he has apologised and given them a hug and then moved on to his next activity.

Im just curious whether it’s unreasonable to think that a suspension is a disproportionate outcome? I’m not for a second suggesting that kicking is ok, it obviously isn’t and I’m very clear with DS that his actions were not ok.
However, things that I find frustrating about it being a suspension are:

1. he sees it as a great outcome - he gets to come home and spend time with me and play.
2. he doesn’t link the action to the consequence at all, even when it’s explained.
3. he didn’t kick out of malice or deliberate aggression, he was having a meltdown and wasn’t able to control himself.
4. he was able to apologise afterwards.
5. his IEP states at the top that he is excluded from the schools behaviour policy and any incidents will be managed taking his SEN needs into account.

In my view, for a single kick while dysregulated, a verbal warning and him apologising seems appropriate for a 5 year old with SEN. Perhaps a bit of time in “reflection” with a staff member if they feel more is needed?
I feel that nothing is achieved through a suspension and actually it unsettles him more!

so, after that long ramble….. I’m very interested to know how other schools manage these types of situations?

We have a reintegration meeting on Monday so I’m just preparing myself for a discussion on how to move forward.

thanks 😊

Check the wording in the EP report. Is it detailed, specified and quantified in F? Or, as is often the case, is it vague and woolly with wording such as “access to”, “would benefit from”, “regular”, “up to”, “or equivalent”, “opportunities for”, “as appropriate”, “would be useful/helpful”, “such as”, “e.g.”, “as required”, “as advised”, “key adult(s)”…

You may need to appeal to get a consistent full-time dedicated 1:1 detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP.