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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

child reluctant to go to school and often late- who can help?

31 replies

indianajane · 13/04/2008 19:52

Who should I speak to about my ds who has been not wanting to go to school for at least 2 years. He is not truanting, it is almost like a phobia. He hasn't actually missed any days due to this but is late generally once a week due to it, sometimes 10 mins, sometimes (lately)an hour. School obviously know about this and but haven't really said anything. I was hoping he'd outgrow it but this now seems less and less likely as he's actually getting (slightly) worse. I'm worried that if this isn't addressed he'll have real problems when he goes to secondary in a few years.

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 13/04/2008 22:45

keep us posted on how he gets on

Bink · 14/04/2008 14:26

Gigglewitch - your remark about "finished" being the most important thing to 'get' for those with ASD? - can you tell me more about the background, thinking, practice, other ideas for help and so on?

The reason I ask is because my ds (no diagnosis, but everyone recognises his problems are in the spectrum "area") has an absolute core blindspot there, and it's one I'd identified myself, so had no idea it was a common feature.

(For instance, if you were to ask him "what word Mummy most wants to hear from him", he'd say it was "Done!")

IndianaJane, apologies for hijacking to ask this. It sounds as if you've had great advice from people here - wishing you all the best.

gigglewitch · 14/04/2008 20:52

ooohh, Bink, there's some good reading on asd but yurt and co can do lots to help too if you post over in sn section. My conclusions are all from ermm..[counting] thirteen years of running educational services for people with ASD, at both ends of the spectrum and all stages between.
The best info I had was on a training session at a conference yonks ago, where the speaker was a gent who's the absolute dogs wotsits on autism and AS. He said that if you work with all folk on the spectrum as if they are really disorganised, they don't know where the beginning or end of anything is and don't know where to go next, then they are likely to be happy if you can help make sense of it for them. Doing it for them entirely is not our aim - to give them the skills and as many 'props' as they need to do it themselves is far more useful!
Gist is - they hate change of any sort, which includes every transition time in the day. Which can get pretty stressful when you think about it. Again if you apply the idea that they can not, or at best have limited ability to think abstractly, and therefore don't know what the heck you mean by "swimming pool" or "school" from "tin of spaghetti", then they become anxious. If there's a picture of it, we're fine. Knowing where things start and finish is huuuuge, I think because of the sequencing element of it. It manages changes for you if you know when 'stop this, start that' happens. In order to deal with even small changes they need plenty of warning, and lots of time to process it [understand it] and 'own' it. we had a young lad who used to have a massive problem every time he got to the swimming pool, would have a screaming session in the changing room, curtains pulled off cubicle and all sorts - till we figured out he had no idea what to do once he got in there. we made him one of those picture strips, showing 'take off...' trousers, shirt, socks, undies [put in the order that he'd usually prefer to do it] and then put on...swim shorts. Each thing done, take the picture off the velcro on the card ("gone,finished") which leaves you only the info that is still on there to have to deal with. He was sorted. These days he just has a small list in a notebook. Independence at last. Basically if you can take away as many of the 'variables' to a situation as possible and give the person with ASD a set of information about what they are expected to do in what order, they are much more able to cope with things. Unpredictability is what they hate. Some folk do well with a set of photo's in a small 6x4 photo album, turning over each page when something's finished with. Experience says that whatever you come up with, it needs to communicate that whatever we're doing now has ...x... coming after it, and when what we're doing now is done, it goes away.
Don't know if this lot makes a word of flippin sense - sorry!! my email's on my profile, if there's anything i can help with
have a look this and this may give you some pointers, but bottom line is that what we use most is a simple digital camera and portable printer - oh yes and yards of velcro.

Bink · 14/04/2008 21:36

That is fantastic, gigglewitch - thank you. The Slater social stories are particularly good.

One strange issue is that for ages I (let alone anyone else) didn't appreciate just how disorganised my ds is (he's 9 now) because in certain academic ways (reading, maths) he's extremely high-functioning - but ask him to assemble a paragraph on "what I did yesterday" and he's like a rabbit facing a snake. (Mind maps have helped a lot there, but you still need to sit down & talk him through - he can't yet clear the blur by himself - though he's starting to understand that it is only a blur, and it will clear.)

He also has odd (but probably to you entirely predictable) difficulties like not knowing how to get to a supermarket, 10 mins walk away, which he's known all his life. And he hasn't anywhere near mastered the early-morning unpack-your-bag classroom routine, and he's nearing the end of Yr4.

If you have any suggestions for further reading on executive function (is that the term?) & the HFA end of the spectrum, I think that would be marvellous. (PS I generally don't post about ds now in SN as his problems are more borderline & I think he fits better in the SEN bit of Education. Just a scruple!)

indianajane · 15/04/2008 12:13

gigglewitch you are a star - your last post makes so much sense. My ds gets support with his literacy for which he has to leave the classroom - he doesn't want to go out. Last time he sat through it saying he didn't want to be there and wouldn't do his work. His class teacher made him stay in at playtime and do the work. He told me that he doesn't want to leave the classroom as it's only once a week and 'different.' I can now speak to his teacher about the points you raised. His teacher seems to see it as him controlling the situation and being purposefully disruptive.

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 15/04/2008 19:23

glad i make sense occasionally!

It is so sad that parents have to fight to get the most basic understanding of their child across to professionals, it really does drive me nuts. Good luck - and go with your camera both of you!

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