When our son with autism was 3, he had virtually no language, no social skills, the concentration span of a gnat, exhibited bizarre behaviour and regularly had meltdowns.
When he went to school at 5, he still had poor language skills, no social skills and had no idea how to behave. He regularly lay down in assembly, refused to co operate in class and used to hit the staff and other children, and growl aggressively.
He was not diagnosed with autism until he was nearly 8. By this time the hitting and lying down in assembly had stopped, and he was conforming more at school, but we noticed his behaviour at home was much worse. It was as though he was only just managing to hold it together for the time he was at school and then all hell let loose when he got home - meltdowns, throwing things, climbing out of windows, threatening us with knives etc. and at times I really feared for the future.
I now realise a lot of this was down to his school not giving him the right provision and the right level of support . The gap between him and his peers was widening all the time and he was really struggling. At the end of year 2 he had been functioning at age appropriate levels but by year 6 he was well behind the others in his class as lessons became harder and more abstract.
Despite this, by the time he was 11, our son bore no resemblance to the little boy he had been when he first started school, although he still struggled with language, was emotionally immature and still needed a lot of support at school.
He went to a fabulous secondary school where they put in virtually 1:1 support all the time and he settled really well in a very short space of time. They also put him in small groups for English and maths and worked on his social skills. Although he still found things difficult at school he made progress and all the behaviour problems we had up to then stopped. I believe this was because he was given the right support at school, by people who understood autism, and were experienced in this field.
He has continued to improve all the time. He has developed a sense of humour and is very caring. When he was 16 I couldn't envisage him ever living away from us or doing anything on his own. I thought then that eventually, we would end up later in life, a doddery old couple with a 40 year old man trailing round after us wherever we went. The idea of our son even catching a bus by himself was unthinkable.
Four years later, after training , he was able catch the bus back home from college. He is now 29 and regularly goes out on his own in the local area which he is familiar with, and often catches a bus into town or some other local place. He can use a mobile phone and always takes it with him and keeps it switched on, so we can keep in contact with him. At first he had a cheap phone that he could just take calls and text on. Then he learned you could do loads of other things on phones and he asked for a smartphone of his own, so he could do all those things too.
As the years have gone by, we have met many challenges, but our son has continued to develop in his own pace. Mainstream FE was a disaster as the staff had no clue about autism and just expected him to fit in with everyone else. Not surprisingly the placement fell down and our son was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder after nearly having a nervous breakdown.
When he was 21 he went to a specialist residential college for students with autism, 160 miles away from home, where the staff were absolutely fabulous. He spent 3 years there and achieved far more than I ever thought possible.
He learnt independent living skills, improved his communication skills, did work experience dealing with the public at several tourist attractions, and acquired GCSE and NVQ level 3 qualifications.
He learnt to cook, to do his washing and ironing, and to manage money. He learnt to travel independently and regularly travelled home on the train from Somerset to Staffordshire by himself, which involved changing trains. His confidence improved and his self assurance became more and more apparent as time went on. He now has a part time job and is living in his own place (with some support) when I once thought he'd be living with us for ever.