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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Atypical ASD?

30 replies

Mimithecat · 18/03/2023 12:06

Posting here to find out if anyone can relate to this as it's keeping me awake at night. Sorry it's a long post.

DD (5) in Reception is generally a very happy child. She is social, adapted very well to her nurseries, started at age 2 and didn't need any settling. Same with school. Loves learning (top reading group in her class, having not read before starting school), very well behaved, very kind, empathetic etc.

She had a very typical development, hit all the milestones on time and was quite an early talker with very clear speech and great vocabulary. Potty trained very quickly at 2.5 yo. Great eye contact, she was smiling and waving at strangers since she was a baby.

She never meltdowns (last meltdown was probably when she was just about 2 yo), just the odd emotional outburst which lasts a few mins, then she is happy again.

She doesn't seem rigid in her behaviour, usually when we have playdates she is always the easy going one and we tend to follow the other child's lead.

However, since the age of about 3 she is flapping her hands a lot, usually when she's excited or thinks about something, followed by strange grimaces. I thought she was only doing this at home, turns out she is doing it at school a lot and the teachers are not sure what it is.

Another thing is she is sensitive to noises, but not all noises. Usually toilet related, toilet flusher, sometimes hand drier. This again started around the age of 3 and is getting worse. She is fine in crowded places, noisy soft plays.

She is a bit in her own little world with an amazing imagination and all sorts of stories come out and her friends look at her like she is a bit odd. She talks obsessively about her cat (occasionally talking like a cat) and she does tend to get obsessive about things for a while...then she moves on.

We are moving her to a private prep school (less children and less noise in the class room), however on her taster day the school has picked up on these unusual behaviours (hand flapping, covering her ears in the toilet, talking like a cat). I'm quite nervous now about how she is going to 'present' herself at the new school and whether we need to look into some sort of support?!

I should mention I did speak to a pediatrician about it (informally), someone we know and she knows DD and she said because she's not struggling in general, she seems to make friends, she is learning, she is adjusting well to new situations, she doesn't need special support, then pursuing a diagnosis will not achieve anything.

But I'm a bit worried about her little obsessions and her hand flapping and that she'll get picked on when she older.

Can anyone relate to this? I've read a few thread on atypical ASD but none of the kids seems to be similar to DD, they tend to have more obvious ASD traits.

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Mimithecat · 06/05/2023 21:20

@AngelofTroy Sorry, can I also ask you at what stage in the diagnosis are you? And is there a chance it's not ASD but something else? Sorry, I have no experience and I don't really know what the process is.

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AngelofTroy · 07/05/2023 10:04

@Mimithecat We are currently on a waiting list for assessment, no diagnosis as of yet so if course there is no guarantee that she will receive one.

We do however, attend a local group for autistic girls and she fits right in, it's where she and I are most comfortable (other places I sometimes feel judged as she can appear rude with her bluntness and exacting expectations).

We decided to pursue an assessment because we know that the lists are long, and that children (particularly girls in my experience) can be less accepting of difference as they get older, and I'd like her to understand herself better and "find her tribe".

We have booked a needs assessment with BIBIC in the meantime to better understand what's going on for her and what would help her thrive. Hopefully that will give us more information.

Mimithecat · 07/05/2023 16:05

@AngelofTroy Thank you very much for sharing your experience, it's very helpful and gives me a lot to think about.

Hope your DD will get the support she needs x

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TooManyPlatesInMotion · 09/05/2023 15:08

We are about to go down the assessment route for our DD (6, in year 1).

It is only in recent months that I have been putting pieces of her behaviour together. For me, it is extremely hard to separate out what is perfectly "normal" behaviour for a 6 year old, what is simply a quirk and what might suggest ASD.

Like your DD, my daughter talked early and hit all milestones. She wasn't reading when she started reception but picked it up very fast and can now read chapter books. She has friends at school and enjoys activities outside of school. We have had no issues with her behaviour at school. However, recently I have noticed the following more and more (especially as she has been at home more due to strike days and bank holidays):

My DD is uncomfortable with loud noises - some more than other. Her little sister crying is unbearable. She also cannot stand anyone talking if she is trying to concentrate on doing something.

Everything has to be just so. She became furious yesterday as she was using a stencil to do a drawing and it kept moving ever so slightly (we're talking about by a fraction of a mm here) and DD had a total meltdown over this and I struggled to calm her down.

She has issues round clothing. Socks are a particular problem - if the heal is a bit lose or she doesn't like the feel of the seam around the toe. Hates tights and won't wear them.

She's increasingly limited in what she will and won't eat. At this age my elder DS was coming out of the fussy toddler/younger child phase, but my daughter is getting worse and not better.

She sucks her hair (I find this really quite grim tbh), almost like a nervous tick.

I'm going to talk to the school and begin the process of getting her assessed. I would suggest that there is nothing to be lost by doing this for your daughter too. The driving force for me is that while my DD is fine socially at the moment, I can see that as she gets older and other kids become more socially adept, she may get left behind.

Mimithecat · 09/05/2023 16:51

@TooManyPlatesInMotion Oh gosh, DD also sucks her hair 😫. I keep her hair completely at the back, 2 plats joined together. She used to suck her soft toys when she was a bit younger.

Hope you get some answers x

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