Dyspraxia (possibly)

[sunnyfields25]

Hi all

DS is 3.5 and for a while I've had concerns about his clumsiness. I tried to pretend I was worrying over nothing, but nursery have also recently raised concerns. He comes home most days with a new bump on his face or head. They suggested we check things out with a doctor.

I started looking into dyspraxia because DH's brother was diagnosed as a child and I thought there could be a family link. When I looked at the symptoms, I realised it's not just the clumsiness - quite a few of them actually match up to issues that DS has.

DH spoke to the GP who passed our concerns onto the health visitor. She rang me back today to discuss, and I'm feeling pretty deflated after the conversation. This HV was quite dismissive of problems DS had when he was little (unrelated to this, mainly feeding issues). I haven't needed to have any contact with her in quite some time, but unfortunately this phone call went the same way as many previous conversations when DS was a baby. She told me that in her opinion it could be dyspraxia, but a diagnosis isn't really important. She said what matters is the support that we offer DS. I suggested a diagnosis might be helpful in accessing support, especially as he gets older, but this was dismissed.

Now I completely understand we may be barking up the wrong tree entirely and DS's problems might not even be due to dyspraxia. But I really feel that knowing either way would help not only us in supporting him, but also help DS in understanding why he's behind his peers. This is likely to only get worse when he starts school next year.

We left it that the HV is going to check with an OT whether they have any involvement any more with cases like this, but she believes not. And she seemed to think there might be no way of DS having an assessment as services in this area simply don't exist. But either way, if she believes an assessment and possible diagnosis are unnecessary then I don't think she'll be very supportive in pursuing them.

What I wanted to ask, after this mammoth ramble (sorry!) is... Is a diagnosis actually important? And is it worth pushing for an assessment?

I know DS is very young still but I feel like we're failing him if we just admit defeat and don't at least get his problems checked out.

Thanks so much if you've managed to make it to the end!

Thanks @CoffeeWithCheese, that was really interesting to read about your DD's diagnosis and also the coping strategies you've put in place. It sounds like you're doing a great job if guiding her and that she is managing well. I'm impressed with the bike riding! I tried taking DS out on his scooter yesterday, which he tries so hard with bless him. He can't use the brake and is still getting to grips with the steering. But he did so well right until we were nearly home, when he ended up in a patch of nettles

The 'falling over an empty floor' comment is so familiar. DS will wobble about and trip over when there is literally nothing anywhere near him. I do worry sometimes what people must think about all the bruises and scrapes he has covering his body! That's good advice about the 'me-sized gap' though. I feel like I'm constantly saying 'look forwards' or 'watch where you're going' on repeat, to the extent that it doesn't actually mean anything anymore, I don't think DS really hears me.

I'm all lined up ready to book a sensory assessment with the private OT I've found. Just holding off for DH to attempt one more chat with the HV next week to try and push, again, for a paediatrician referral (which we would still need for a diagnosis if the assessment shows up an issue), and to ask about waiting list times.

So annoyed with myself for not pursuing the private route sooner and getting the assessment done before DS starts school. Because now it'll mean disrupting him and taking him out of school for a day, and we could have started with a clean slate of knowing one way or another what the verdict was. Then again, maybe it will be helpful to have a teacher's input on whether they feel there's a problem.