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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

How do you know when your child has a problem, rather than just being a good old-fashioned duffer?

51 replies

Enid · 28/11/2006 09:39

Poor dd1 (7 in Dec). She isn't struggling at school in that she loves going, she feels happy there, but she has started getting very upset at home about the fact that she 'can't remember things'. Her spelling is really atrocious - reading her literacy book today she had written a story full of good ideas but almost unreadable due to lack of punctuation and poor spelling - garden was "gand" and later "gadn", walk was "woc". She finds it almost impossible to complete work in the time allowed, in fact any time pressures at all, with anything, make her panic. Her reading has improved hugely but she is still at the 'bottom' of the class, she sits with three other children one of whom is statemented, so it is made very clear how the 'class rankings' work (there are four tables - uber clever, clever, average, below average, I would say). She is HUGELY conscientious but tells me that she finds listening and remembering very very hard. She often doesn't understand given work, especially if if involves sequencing - she has no idea what day it is, she cannot tell the time and has no concept of how long a week/month/year is. She finds putting her clothes and bags on her pegs very hard, hates getting dressed and cannot do the zip of her coat up - ok it is stiff but still...

all this is being thrown into sharp relief by dd2 (just 4) who (thanks to cod!) is now reading simple Ladybird books and recognises all the reception words, can write every letter in the alphabet and if I spell out words aloud can write anything- she tells dd1 what the day is, whether horse-riding is 'today' or 'tomorrow'. Thank the lord that dd1 is good at sport and dd2 is not otherwise I think poor dd1 would be utterly defeated.

I have spoken to dd1's teacher - she thinks dd1 needs a lot of reassurance which she doesn't always have time to give and that it is all a matter of confidence. What do you think?

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zippitippitoes · 28/11/2006 11:24

a simple thing you could try is read her something short she hasn't heard before and ask her to retell it to you

or ask her questions on it

and do a similar test with her reading something

if she is not good at retaining/understanding information then she may have a dyslexic tendency (dyslexia is a very broad spectrum of difficulties)

Toots · 28/11/2006 11:27

Am having a little cry. Bless her heart for being so excited about the lady. Sounds like a top idea for her to feel special about learny things.

(ducking here, but can I just say that I really feel for you, Enid. I'm not the sainted patient type personally and think I would find chronic dreaminess a right pain. Have been remembering a post you wrote (last year?) about writing something like 'like pulling teeth' in her reading record. It really made me laugh at the time and now DD1 has started school that exact feeling regularly comes to pass round my house. Which is nice)

foxinsocks · 28/11/2006 11:28

yes, what I meant to say is that it can take different forms (not only in the way most people think of it)

definitely worth getting an assessment done if you are concerned - even if it just serves to put your mind at rest

fennel · 28/11/2006 11:30

my dd1 is good at art, and at 3-d model design, she can draw maps and diagrams and design electrical circuits (the sort of thing DP teaches them). and do good hama bead designs.

but has a memory like a sieve. and gives up writing a story or letter after a sentence or so.

let us know how you get on with the lady who helps with reading Enid. Except I always suspect if they're doing it privately they might be motivated to find things which require extra tuition, it's in their interest. Can you go through the school and get her checked out through them too?

fullmoonfiend · 28/11/2006 11:31

enid, she sounds just like my ds!
fennel, that's exactly what my ds's yr2 teacher said to me, followed by 'he's just immature'.
I had him tested privately; the bad news is he's dyslexic, the good news is his IQ is high, the bad news is....it's way higher than mine

Enid · 28/11/2006 11:36

ah toots thats sweet of you to remember

fennel I am contacting the school where she set up the SEN unit (on her recommendation) to get a reference

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fullmoonfiend · 28/11/2006 11:38

Fennel, my school refused to have my sons assessed. But the dyslexia institute have independant educational phsychologists to do the testing. You are paying them, not the institute and therefore there is no reason why your child would be 'diagnosed' in order to profit from you. IIRC, 40 per cent of kids tested are diagnosed with a learning difficulty...and these are obviously kids whose parents have a cuase for concern already.

Oddly enough, after I had him assessed privately the school had a change of heart and had him done

misdee · 28/11/2006 11:40

i have the same concerns about dd1, but her differculties have been picked up at school and she has 30mins a day on average with the SENCo and is on an IEP. it has really helped her confidence.

her spelling is very much like dd1, she is 6 going on 7. she still spells walk 'woc' (well thats what it sounds like so she spells it like that) there is amethod in their madness i find. We are working on increasing dd1 confidence in her own work, as she seeks confirmation that what she is doing is correct.

she also doesnt finish work in the time allowed at school.

AND dd2 is seemingly pickign this stuff up quicker than dd1 did. she is very good on her numbers, and puzzles and is starting to learn to write her name and other smal lthings. dd1 never did this at dd2 age (4). dd1 is more athletic and bendy though where as dd2 is clumsey (dyspraxia has been mentioned for dd2). dh is dyslexic, my brother,, mum , sister and sumerous cousins are also dyslexic. So it wouldnt surprise me if dyslexia gets mentioned for dd1 soon.

Jimjams2 · 28/11/2006 11:51

no time to post properly- but I read your opening ppost thought ???dyspraxia (worth checking because there's lots that can be done to help if it is and no point struggling unecessarily) and leading on from that I'd give fish oils. Get a decent brand though- nordic naturals good, eskimo oil good and efalex good.

fennel · 28/11/2006 11:56

Apparently there are websites with exercises and activities you can do with children with dyslexia/dyspraxia to help them concentrate etc. I might hunt for some later as we could use them too.

I can't really get over the feeling that it's my unrealistically high expectations of academic success rather than anything wrong with dd1, that's what stops me taking it further for us, as well as the teacher thinking I'm over-analysing things. I had a sort of expectation that my children would be at or near the top of the class as I come from the sort of family where everyone was academically very good. And dd2 is clearly very good academically. So it's hard to untangle that from dd1's slightly bizarre and uneven progress.

Enid · 28/11/2006 12:00

fennel I could have written that post!

but it is becoming clearer to me that dd1 DOES have some sort of problem - even if it is 'just' lack of confidence. I feel so happy about this teacher - dd1 works very well when given individual attention and her concentration is good. We'll see.

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Kittypickle · 28/11/2006 13:02

Fennel, I could have written that as well a few years ago. When she was diagnosed with dyspraxia I then went to the other extreme when I though, oh well, as long as DD is happy what do academic things matter. But then I realised that DD is actually very bright and by not expecting much of her was probably doing her a big injustice. So now I'm somewhere along the lines of there is no reason she can't do just whatever she wants, whether it's a Ph.D at Oxford or making pots somewhere. It just comes down to her getting the right support to enable her to do what she wants. And that comes down to me and making sure I push when I think things aren't going well to ensure she does get the help she needs.

Enid · 28/11/2006 13:06

so...how do you get a diagnosis? is that the 64 million $ q??

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UnderWitnessProtectionCod · 28/11/2006 13:07

am so rpoud of dd2
she is my prodigy

Enid · 28/11/2006 13:08

you have unleashed a monster

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UnderWitnessProtectionCod · 28/11/2006 13:09

ds3 is reading now too

UnderWitnessProtectionCod · 28/11/2006 13:09

will read all of this later
ds3 want to go on pc and i have a vesuvuis of folding to do

foxinsocks · 28/11/2006 13:14

you can do it through the school enid - they should have procedures in place to refer children - sometimes to an educational psychologist (that's what happens here but I imagine it's different depending on the LEA).

Or you can go independently to an educational psychologist that you know through word of mouth or locally.

Kittypickle · 28/11/2006 13:15

I think it depends on where you are how it works exactly and the condition. For DD the teacher had the SENCO in to have a look at her, she then referred onto the Community Paed, who referred her onto our local co-ordination clinic. That comes under the Child Development Centre at our local hospital where there are a number of paediatric consulants.
She had a very thorough assessment there and it took some time before they decided to give her a diagnosis, but eventually it filtered back to us via the Community Paed. She was diagnosed with dyspraxia, hypermobility & speech and language delay.
The co-ordination clinic is fantastic. She had an intial course with them and each session is a mixture of OT & physio. Then things weren't going well around spring of this year, so she is back again. The other day she had a session of over an hour with two OTs and a physio helping her at the same time.
I think the other route is to get referred to an Educational Psychologist which you can do through school or privately. But I've only got experience of a dx for dyspraxia in this county (as it was pretty obvious from the beginning that DD had it). I think it will vary a little through the country and for different conditions.

Kittypickle · 28/11/2006 13:18

We are Dorset btw, but East, so fall under Poole.

Crackle · 28/11/2006 13:52

My lovely dufferish older boy improved in all areas after we realised that he just couldn't see. He suddenly became less dreamy (could see what ever everyone else in class was looking at), much more useful at sport and less tired in the evenings when he got his specs.

Just a thought.

Enid · 28/11/2006 13:59

that had crossed my mind crackle

will book an eye test

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Enid · 28/11/2006 13:59

kittypickle yes we are dorset too (west though)

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KTeepee · 28/11/2006 14:39

I wondered about eyesight too - my dd is also good at swimming but not at ball games - she has a couple of different things which are wrong with her eyes which are probably the cause...

The memory thing might be a sign that something else is up though, I think I would get her checked by an Educational Psychologist if it were me.

fullmoonfiend · 28/11/2006 16:27

enid, you can press at school for an assessment - some local authority's are better than others. Can't hurt to try. Do you feel there is a large gap between what she 'knows' and what she 'produces'? That's often a warning sign