Aspergers being mentioned again. Just want to talk.

[LynetteScavo]

After a long meeting with the school today about ds1 (12), Apspergers has yet again been mentioned. School kept asking me if a diagnosis would help DS, and help him understand why he cant make friends/only has one friend. Seems a weird reason for a full blown DX. Surely the school should just realise what type of person he is and deal with it.

He won't be able to walk around adult life wearing a t-shirt with a diagnosis on.

3 ed psych's have ruled Aspergers out (only one actually tested) and I don't think he will ever have a diagnosis, which is fair enough.

On paper he ticks every box for aspergers, but I thought he was coping in every day life. Apparently not at school.

Ds is happy with no friends. Just because he doesn't look happy doesn't mean he isn't.

Does he need friends?

Should I just try and teach him how to make friends, even if he doesn't want any? His social skills are really good now. He says hello and goodbye without being prompted, and nods in all the right places.

I have just read your posts and my heart skipped a beat because I am in the same situation as Lynette. Back in October at the first parent's evening of year 5, the new teacher said she wanted my son to be assessed and advised us to speak to the SENCo. My son had had a terrible time the year before with another boy who made his life a misery and by the end of the year the class was becoming polarised with the boys taking sides. The teacher at the time said my son was 'a very unusual little boy' but that he was just having a hard time and needed to mature. The new teacher has a very different view. I filled in the CAF form with the SENCo and found out they'd done some tests and my son had a reading age of nearly twelve even though he had just turned 9, but was struggling with maths He had already been noted as GandT for art. No one mentioned AS at all but when they gave me a copy of the report I googled some of the terms they'd used and AS came up. We are waiting to find out if he will be assessed by a Speech and Lang therapist and the SENCo has since confirmed they think he has mild AS and are catering for him accordingly with support and differentiated work. He doesn't know why they are doing this and the other children are teasing him for being 'dumb'. I have tried to talk to him about feeling different and how it's great to be a individual and how peopel's brains work differently but he HATES feeling different and is really concerned that other people in the class might think he is not very clever. Will a Speech and Lang therapist diagnose AS or should I go via my GP and CAMHs ( which I had never heard of before today)? The SENCo thinks it's very unlikely he will be statemented as she think his symptoms are 'mild'. Any advice? All this is so new and confusing and I veer between being totally okay about it all and thinking I am hanging him out2dry by going along with it all. I just want him to be healthy and happy that's all.

Hi Annaon,

re this part of your comment:-

"Will a Speech and Lang therapist diagnose AS or should I go via my GP and CAMHs ( which I had never heard of before today)? The SENCo thinks it's very unlikely he will be statemented as she think his symptoms are 'mild'. Any advice?"

A SALT cannot diagnose AS; this has to be done by a developmental paediatrician and it can be a long and drawn out process. Your first port of call should be the GP who should then refer you to either the paed or CAMHS (however, ASD is not their exact and main area of expertise and experiences with CAMHS can be a mixed bag). Also your son will leave this school sooner rather than later to face secondary school.

SENCO is not qualified to make such pronouncements (the LEA solely make the decision as to whether to assess for a statement or not) and cannot diagnose either so she is talking complete rot. It is all designed to put parents off from applying for statements. AS is also not a mild disability.

If you think he will need extra support in secondary school I would apply for the statement now and ignore any naysayers. IPSEA's website is very good with regards to the statementing process. You do not need school's permission to apply for a statement nor do you need a diagnosis in order to apply. Have a read of the National Autistic Society's website as well.

You are his best and only advocate here; no-one else is better placed to fight his corner for him because actually no-one else will.

Do visit the Special Needs; Childrens forum of this website (under the special needs section) and put your post there too as that particular forum receives far more daily traffic than this one does.

With regards to extra support in school,is there much difference between school action plus and a statement. Wondering if it is worth the bother. Parents I know that have statements for their children all seem to say that extra support is still not provided as it should be.